When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



Your spouse will be absolutely unbearable roughly 10% of the time. So will you be, by the way. Give grace. Receive it too. Also, physical distance helps, even for a few hours.


21



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?


10, 15



I wish I had heard this in my 20’s. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRtFBvGr/


20



“Love is giving your heart without expectation.” - Dan Fogelman


16, 21



Just let them be who they are. Enjoy getting to know them.


1-21



Teach tuck to drive


15



Love then when they least deserve it because that’s when the need it the most.


3, 13, 17



When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.


9, 13, 19



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



Hold fast to what is good. (1 Thessalonians 5:21)


10, 15, 21



Ladies, don’t waste a moment of your precious time trying to get a man’s attention. If he’s interested he will love heaven and earth to get YOUR attention. Save your energy for joy and work and learning and doing whatever floats your boat! Let him be the one to twist himself in knots.


15, 18, 20



What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.


1



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



A person is only as good as how they treat you when they are angry with you.


17



“Human beings are linked, not ranked.” - Gloria Steinem (f*ck the patriarchy)


15



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

Struggle is just part of the process. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or you’re dumb. It’s a key element of how we all learn.


11



Being numb is not the same thing as being happy.


15-18



Theme this year: Self Control (Repeat every year until age 99)


6



Just because someone is an a-hole it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.


17, 21



The problems with pornography: When you’re young and have yet formed a basis for healthy and mutually satisfying sexual relationships, your brain doesn’t know what to do with that input. It becomes part of your brain, imprinted as normal or the way sex should be. When you’re older, the brain can see something that’s outrageous and recognize it and discard it. Also it’s incredibly misogynistic, will do horrible things for the way you see women. While some is fairly harmless and totally normal, even too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Too much of a bad thing is disastrous.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.


17, 21



Some people think the world owes THEM. They have a backwards. We are servants. How can we best serve?


12-21



For parties, collect cell phones and put them in a basket. "Parent calls only. Enjoy the people here! They're pretty awesome!"


12



Work the problem backwards. Start with the solution (desired outcome) and count down from there each step. Some steps will be small, some big. But you’ll get there!


13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Your very existence is a miracle. Countless cosmic events and generations of ancestors had to come together in precisely the right way at precisely the right time for you to be here now. It’s an honor to be who you are. Act accordingly.


13, 15, 18, 20, 21