Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



1

Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..


14, 18, 21



There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.


15, 18, 21



Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman" speech.


10



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



You are never too old to play in the snow.


16



Failed? Lift yourself up, or live there. You know the work you need to do, be it physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, etc. So do it. Do the work. The only bitterness in failure comes from not having the guts to get back up again.


12, 16, 18, 20, 21



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo


18, 21



To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.


18, 20



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



Read everything Brene Brown ever wrote.


20



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.


11, 15, 17



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.


17



“Distraction is the death of art. But boredom is the birth place of it.” (Forgot who said this)


12, 15, 21



Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



Turn off main water line when you leave on vacation.


21



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



Taking care of your things, keeping them in good condition, putting them away, keeping them safe from harm or theft, etc. Charge your equipment, make your bed, respect your space, your clothing, your tools. Take the time to take care the things that bring you joy, the things that you need or may need. Especially things that are not yours, anything that you are entrusted with. Take good care of them. Treat them gently. Everything wants to be treated gently. xo


7, 8, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21



Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.


14, 17, 21



Violent thunderstorms can be dangerous. Avoid driving or being out in severe weather: car accidents, downed trees, high winds, lightning, flash floods, etc. are all potentially deadly. Don’t take your safety for granted. If the weather is severe, stay sheltered unless you absolutely positively have to be out and about.


12-14, 16, 21



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.


11, 13, 15