Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



When someone suffers the loss of a loved one, don't shy away. Go to the service. Check in during the months following. Say the name of the person who died when you talk to them. Forward pictures of the loved one if you have any, share stories. There are exceptions to this, so always take your queue from the person who is grieving.


18



Ladies, don’t waste a moment of your precious time trying to get a man’s attention. If he’s interested he will love heaven and earth to get YOUR attention. Save your energy for joy and work and learning and doing whatever floats your boat! Let him be the one to twist himself in knots.


15, 18, 20



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



Be ready to learn from around you. Curiosity = adventure. And when you’re curious, there’s no room for judgment.


17



Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain


18, 21



“You matter to me.” Is a beautiful way to express your feelings when a relationship is new.


15, 17, 21



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.


5, 12-14



My theory is that it’s pointless to chase love. You’ll never catch it. Focus on DOING what you love. When you’re being who you’re meant to be, you’ll find the one you’re meant to love. That way, love chases YOU! And love always wins. ❤️


16



Geocaching


5-11



From our beautiful Grandma Marie: Go easy on the makeup, get serious about skincare. Don’t skimp, use good-quality products on your face and neck. And remember SUNSCREEN on face, neck and hands every day!


16



There’s always a temptation to throw money at your problem. But remember there’s nothing you can buy that will make up for what is really needed. And the stuff that accumulates while you try to fix the problem just ends up being a problem on its own.


14, 19



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



The secret to getting sinks and surfaces to shine is to dry-buff them after you clean them. Keep a soft clean rag or washcloth around so you can dry fixtures and sinks and counter tops. (They should be cleaning their own bathrooms by this age.)


11



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21



Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?


17



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Anything you wear on purpose is fashion.


14, 19, 21



"Make yourself proud." Teach them to take pride in themselves - in their work, their behavior. Everything from a 3 year-old making her bed to a 10 year-old's homework. If they learn to keep going until they're satisfied it's done well, they won't need us to keep after them.


4



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.


19



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21



Learn what triggers you. It’s probably just two or three things. Work on your issues


14, 18. 21



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



Don’t confuse impulsive with courageous.


10, 14, 19, 21