Some kids have trouble with learning how to managing their anger and other big feelings. We all do! It’s good to give them grace. But steer clear of those who think mean is cool. You don’t have time for anyone who actually tries to be an a-hole.
6, 9, 12, 16, 21
Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)
1, 10
One of my favorite scenes in a movie is James Bond with Pierce Brosnan. Bullets are whizzing by him and he just so of gives a mildly annoyed look while focusing on what he’s doing. It’s quintessential cool.
15, 21
I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo
14
Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.
11, 15, 17
Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.
6-11
Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.
14, 16, 20
Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.
19
Be protective, never be possessive. watch out for your friends’ well-being, their good names, that’s what friends do. But friends don’t try to manipulate someone’s feelings, thoughts or actions.Same goes for romantic relationships.
10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 21
"Dollar Store Engineering Kit:" Popsicle sticks, pool noodles, pipe cleaners, straws, light sticks, cups, etc. ALSO LOOK FOR Styrofoam gliders, Styrofoam balls, science kits, candy for candy structures, seasonal or holiday themes. Pinterest has a ton of great ideas for STEM activities.
7
No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.
17
It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.
16
Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”
15
“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott
14
To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.
16, 21
To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.
14, 18
Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.
8
Keep your pants on until you (and your partner) are at least 18. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are drunk. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are not 100% enthusiastic about going farther.
15