Painful or unpleasant emotions can’t grow if you stay in the present. (Easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing.)
10, 13, 16, 21
Send them outside with an age-appropriate pair of scissors and have them “give the grass a haircut.” Fine motor skills!
2-4
You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.
14, 17, 21
Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)
1, 10
When driving in the car with your kids, ask them to count motorcycles, cyclists, pedestrians. Prize to the highest count! This will train them to be on the lookout for them.
10
Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.
8
You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.
21
First date going extremely well? Thinking u might score? Slow down. A woman always wants to feel like she’s worth waiting for.
20
Watch film “Radio” (2003) and talk about being brave. Teach them that doing what’s right takes courage.
8
Just because you miss your ex that doesn’t mean you want them back. Of course you miss someone you had a deep connection with.
17, 21
“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.
16-21
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.
15, 21
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
11-14
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/
5
Like me, you turn to food for comfort. That’s okay to a point, but it won’t help. That hole you’re trying to fill will just get deeper. So if you can’t or won’t stop eating for comfort please consider this suggestion: Do something creative first. Sing, write, paint, run, lift, act, improv, whatever. The hole will be so much more shallow when you go to try and fill it with food. Hopefully, eventually you’ll get to the point of staying in “creative mode” to feel better.
10, 12, 13, 16, 21
Before you quit your job - or leave your spouse, etc. consider that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression. We sometimes attribute outside things (or people) as the cause of feeling desperate for change. But sometimes it’s just that our brains are fogged with anxiety or depression. Help is life- changing.
21