When you have no idea what you’re doing, just be kind. Be brave. Think critically and make the best decisions you can in the moment. If possible, find resources to learn what you need to know. Ask for help if help is available. Do your best and don’t sweat it.


18



Just let them be who they are. Enjoy getting to know them.


1-21



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21



Marry your hero.


21



You can’t ask someone to change who they are before you live or accept them.


12, 15, 21



People will speak or act in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Stay calm and kind.


14-21



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.


12, 14, 16. 18, 21



Let’s look for examples of bravery.


8



take advantage of the bike trail. Bike places as a family.


11



Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.


14



Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.


7



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity. Re-read every few years!


17



None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody.


11, 14, 17, 21



If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)


14, 18, 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



1

Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5



“The flower does not dream of the bee. It blossoms


15



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21



No threats, not even jokingly.


15



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



Plan trip to Outside Lands music festival at Golden Gate Park


17



Piano


21



Kitchen knife skills. Know how to properly and safely cut, slice, chop, dice, carve, etc.


15, 21



If there’s a ever a bird in the house, close the interior doors, open the doors to the outside and shoo it out with a broom.


18



Any thought about self-harm is like a “check engine” light going off for your brain. Seek professional help. You will recover.


12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21



Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.


9