Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!


17-21



A wise friend once told me "Don't dump grace down the drain." Respond to nudges: Speak up even if you're afraid, reach out to someone who's hurting, forgive someone (or yourself.) God is so good and so generous...accept his gifts.


15



Two rules: First, don’t be a sh!tty person. 2. Try to have some fun. Everything else is just “whatever.”


13, 21



No dating while unstable. Being responsible for someone’s heart means being prepared to treat them with respect at all times, regardless of whether they make you angry, jealous, annoyed, rejected, humiliated or heartbroken. If (a) you don’t think those things could happen or (b) think there’s a reasonable chance you’d lose your temper, then you’re not ready. And that’s okay! You’ll get there in your own time. In the meantime stay off the market.


12, 14, 16, 18, 21



We all want to be liked. But consider what you’re willing to *not* be liked for: If things like kindness and loyalty and being genuinely yourself *cost* you friends, is that a bad thing? Were they really friends then? Try not to do or say anything simply out of a desire to be liked.


11, 13, 16, 21



Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!


17



Watch Ken Burns’ “The US and the holocaust.”


17



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



Encourage others!!!


13



A red brow line is an early sleepiness cue. If you notice the skin around baby’s eyebrows seems red, they’re ready for a nap.


Infant-1



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.


10, 18



Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?


13, 17, 21



“If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?” From a story told by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak ....Do you know what causes him pain or anxiety? What he’s afraid of? In an age-appropriate way....Talk about our fears and the things that hurt us. He will see it’s normal to have fear and pain, and he will learn he can come to me with anything that troubles him.


8



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.


20



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)


14



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



Beware of those forces that aim to pit good people against each other. Injustices hurt our sensibilities- as they should. So instead of bickering about who’s been wronged worse, let’s join hands and fight injustice on every front. If you get caught up in comparisons, everyone loses.


16



Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.


14



If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.


16



Try silence. Just sit with it (problem/feeling/etc.) invite the problem to sit next to you and just be quiet. Five minutes every day for a week or two. Your solution will appear. Stop running and just sit with it.


16