Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they feel loved by you. Meet the kids where they are.


2, 9, 21



Give people the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, assign the best possible motive to their actions.


14-18



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



Always remember - cheesecake is the best cake.


21



I don’t remember much about my grandmother (Marie) but I recall her hands. Her ring fingers had a funny curve to them, bowed in a little at the top. My ring fingers do the same thing. I think of her every time I notice it.


19



To quote Harvard professor Adam Grant: “Argue like you’re right and listen like you’re wrong.”


15



Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



The secret to getting sinks and surfaces to shine is to dry-buff them after you clean them. Keep a soft clean rag or washcloth around so you can dry fixtures and sinks and counter tops. (They should be cleaning their own bathrooms by this age.)


11



Don’t bring a complaint without offering a solution.


17, 19, 21



Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!


Infant-1



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



My ballet teacher used to punish us by making us sit on the floor and hold our arms up. It hurts! But you learn how to sit with pain. You learn how to endure and how to use your mind to make your muscles really don’t want to do.


14, 20



On a job interview, mention a high-level educational goal such as MBA or law school. Their estimation of you will go up without them even realizing it. Your offer will be higher. Also follow, up with a brief but we’ll-written (professional) thank you note/email whatever.


17, 19, 21



Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.


12, 14, 17, 21



Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?


9



1

Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior


16



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



I’m going to start you in Mathnasium or some other STEM (math) activity. Not because I want u to score high on your SAT but because I want You to be confident in your math skills you will use it every day and it will come in handy no matter what you choose to do for a living


7



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



The opposite of addiction is connection. Genuine connection can take lots of forms.


14, 17, 19, 21



Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. Eventually though, doing the thing is easier than stressing over it or hiding from it.


10. 12, 15, 21



Go to College results. Org to look at graduation rates. How likely is a rising freshman at that school to stick it out and graduate in 4 years? HUGE variation, it should factor in their decision.


16



Ability is distributed equally across all demographics, geniuses, artists, musicians etc. are not more likely to be born in a rich community-but they are far more likely to emerge from one with their gift’s having been nurtured. Ability is evenly distributed but accessibility is not. How many lives could be saved if the brilliant surgeon never gets to college? It’s a core mission of mine to do my part to help change that so that all children can realize their dreams if they work for it. No locked gates!


12, 18, 21



Harm springs from excess.


12



When you have no idea what you’re doing, just be kind. Be brave. Think critically and make the best decisions you can in the moment. If possible, find resources to learn what you need to know. Ask for help if help is available. Do your best and don’t sweat it.


18