To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.
Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.
You can’t grow in faith (or character or friendships) without learning to be humble. To forgive. To listen without agenda. To allow for the possibility you may be in the wrong.
Ask for help. God will give it.
When someone suffers the loss of a loved one, don't shy away. Go to the service. Check in during the months following. Say the name of the person who died when you talk to them. Forward pictures of the loved one if you have any, share stories. There are exceptions to this, so always take your queue from the person who is grieving.
“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.
Always stand up to shake someone’s hand. (NEVER shake a person’s hand while sitting.)
Always get up out of your seat to greet a guest and walk them to the door when they leave.
On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.
Sometimes the job will require you to do menial tasks. Do them enthusiastically because nothing is “beneath you.” If the good Lord can wash people’s feet, you can make coffee at the office. Get over yourself.
My worst fear is that I will be unable to reach you when you’re in pain. All I want as a parent, what my whole job boils down to, is to be there when you need me. How can I help you?
When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.
“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.
Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.
Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?