“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



Look into "OK Go" videos.


7-14



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



Be supportive of someone who is trying to better themselves.


16



I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



Learn to recover from life’s stresses intentionally and thoughtfully. Practice listening for what your body needs in that moment. And then go get it.


10, 13, 17, 21



Look into language school. Now is a good time to start learning Chinese, Spanish or Arabic.


5-8



With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.


2, 13, 17



Worry less about molding them and focus on loving them.


2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.


14, 18, 21



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



I’m going to keep from telling them how to feel.


4-18



Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity. Re-read every few years!


17



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.


14, 17, 21



The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach


18, 21



Keep porn to a minimum. Never at school or work. It's normal to be curious but it's really not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is a business. It's designed to get you off, not to be realistic or educational. That's not the way sex looks or how you're expected to behave. Try O.school instead.


15



Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



All behavior is communication.


2-6



“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



Connect with people however you can, in whatever way feels natural to you: Talk, listen, perform, compete, create, laugh, pray, explore, share your truth, acknowledge the divine in yourself and in everyone you meet.


16, 21



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



If you witness a moment of vulnerability in someone, keep it to yourself. Be respectful of people's dignity.


14-18



On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!


17-21



Netflix “Who Was?” A biography show for kids.


6-8