Ask”How can I be a better parent to you?” Listen.


1Infant-18



Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.


12, 18



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



“Distraction is the death of art. But boredom is the birth place of it.” (Forgot who said this)


12, 15, 21



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



Special occasion gift idea: put a video together of a ton of friends and family wishing them the best. Maybe it’s graduation, or wedding or big move, or for when she’s in labor, etc. Ask friends and family to film a short video of encouragement/congratulations/support/advice/etc.


17, 20, 21



Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.


16



Affection is to be shared, never taken.


14



Sweetheart you don’t have room in your life for people who don’t get you. Let your light shine…and f*@k anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.


14, 16, 18, 20



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Discuss prescription (and OTC) medications. Doctors prescribe or recommend these medicines, they’re not for fun and should be taken seriously. Discuss how medicines are obtained, never shared, which is dangerous and illegal. Emphasize the risk of dependence.


10



“Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it’s actually you who are ruining your life. It’s such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to make go through life.” — Charlie Munger


13, 15, 19, 21



End of August by Robert Frost is one of my favorite poems.


20



Plan a trip someplace where we can see the Northern Lights.


15



To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.


18, 20



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



Don’t be afraid of work.


12, 17, 21



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.


12, 15, 19



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.


16, 21



Concussion testing - baseline


15



ALWAYS pee before you sit down to nurse a baby.


Infant-1



Addiction is when you can’t get through the day without something. It’s not that you need to feel high, it’s that you can’t live without what gets you high. Humans are all wired to be at risk for addiction


13, 15, 18, 20



Take the train to Roanoke.


10



Notre Dame Lullabies by the O’Neil Brothers is my favorite album ever. I used to play it at your bedtime when u were a baby and even sometimes when you were a kid. It reminds me of the happiest time of my life, when you came into it. Play it for me when I’m old and gray, okay?


21



Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.


15, 20