Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



There is nothing “basic” about basic human dignity. Never treat a person as though they are put on this earth for your amusement. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity because we’re all human beings. No matter their age, looks, status, even past wrongdoing, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.


14



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



If you ever borrow someone’s car, return it with a full tank of gas.


20



Save where you can. Spend when you have to. Splurge every once in a while.


15, 21



Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?


15, 21



Toddlers fall... a lot. Most falls are harmless but sometimes bad accidents happen. Head injuries are scary because they bleed and swell. If bleeding doesn't stop within a few minutes or you can see it's a big gash, head to the urgent care. And remember if the swelling goes out (“goose egg”) that’s a good thing: Better out than in.


2



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



Anything you wear on purpose is fashion.


14, 19, 21



Book “30 Days of Sex Talks” comes in three volumes: Ages 3-7, 8-11 And 13 . Very highly rated. Available on Amazon.


4, 8, 12



Rent kayaks.


14-16



Your spouse will be absolutely unbearable roughly 10% of the time. So will you be, by the way. Give grace. Receive it too. Also, physical distance helps, even for a few hours.


21



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Stay put, don’t wonder if lost when we hike.


2, 3, 5



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Live a life of dignity and joy.


14, 21



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa


16, 21



6 luxuries in life: 1. time 2. health 3. a quiet mind 4. slow mornings 5. ability to travel 6. house full of love -jade bonacolta


15, 21



Screw “achievement.” Do things you enjoy, share experiences that expand your capacity for joy and compassion. It doesn’t matter if you’re any good, it just matters that you’re in your groove.


16, 21



Action is the antidote to anxiety.


12, 14, 17, 21



Teen years are a whole other ballgame. Find a community and stay up with trends and news. Check out the website Raising Teens Today.


12



I don’t buy Mallomars. But Santa does. Another Christmas stocking tradition is chicken flickin. Rubber chickens you shoot like rubber bands.


5, 21



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



1

Grandpa used to keep a hundred dollar bill stashed discreetly in his wallet “for emergencies.”


17



Biographies: Be inspired.


12