The kindest person in the room may not necessarily be the smartest. But the cruelest person is always the dumbest.


10, 15, 21



Learn what triggers you. It’s probably just two or three things. Work on your issues


14, 18. 21



Ask the question “What are you doing when you feel most like yourself?”


16



Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.


7



Protect women from gross men: First, don’t be gross. Second, resist the urge to go along with the pack when they get gross. Third, and this is going to take courage, tell them to knock that sh*t off. Never make a girl feel uncomfortable to get a laugh. It’s not funny, it’s scary and demeaning and will teach her you can’t be trusted.


10, 14, 17, 21



Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”


7, 8, 9, 13, 16



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



The moment you lose your cool, you’ve lost.


12,13, 14, 15, 16, 21



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.


15, 21



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Blessing for the Brokenhearted: Poem by Jan Richardson ___________ "There is no remedy for love but to love more." – Henry David Thoreau ________________________ ________________________ Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. __________Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound, when every day our waking opens it anew. ___________Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this— as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart’s sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom but will save us nonetheless.


20



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



Creepy is as creepy does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do. If you don’t want to be a creep then don’t f*cking act like one. People have a right to live their lives without being intruded upon. Don’t lurk, if you want to get to know someone tell them. Invite them to do something together or just hang out. If they’re not interested then drop it. You can ask again only if they have clearly signaled they changed their mind. (Which is more likely to happen if you respect their boundaries.)


13, 16, 19, 21



Name five women who contributed to our country’s history.


8, 13, 16



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21



Sex: There's no single way to do it "right" but there are lots of ways to do it wrong. Not being respectful and tender towards your partner is usually at the root of "wrong" ways to do it. Also, there is no rush. You may think all your friends are "doing it." They're not. Take your time.


16



Give book "50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know" by Kay West.


14



People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



Summer concerts at Wolftrap- get good seats so they can really get a sense of the experience.


13-16



“All the best things in life live on the other side of fear.” - Will Smith’s grandmother.


20



Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.


9



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Remember when you’re faced with bullies, jerks and people who say bad things , follow advice from the Obama's: "When they go low we go high."


1Infant-14