Listen to Celebrate Calm podcasts for help dealing with defiance.


4, 9, 15



Help him write a letter to someone in power if he has a question or concern about something he sees going on in the world.


7-11



From our beautiful Grandma Marie: Go easy on the makeup, get serious about skincare. Don’t skimp, use good-quality products on your face and neck. And remember SUNSCREEN on face, neck and hands every day!


16



Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.


12, 15, 19



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



Which line of poetry would you get tattooed?


17



When you meet someone for the first time try to clear your mind of any assumptions about physical appearance. Race, gender, age, handicap/disability, etc.


17, 21



Frustrated with school or work? It bothers you because you care or you hurt. That’s human.


14



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Keep screen time to a minimum.


2-8



Always keep a can of WD-40 in the house.


21



“Don’t chase your dreams


14, 17, 20, 21



take advantage of the bike trail. Bike places as a family.


11



Look up crowd cow for meat delivery.


10



Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)


12, 15, 18, 20



You are never too old to play in the snow.


16



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



Someone else’s success doesn’t subtract from yours. Celebrating with them and encouraging them won’t make you the loser and them the winner. We’re all in this together.


12, 15



Mvzkhdkhd


19



There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.


16



Don’t play hard to get. Be hard to earn.


16, 21



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask: Was I fair? Was I kind? Did I put in the work? If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well. If an answer is “No,” then fix it.


16



I’d rather you be brave than perfect. Take chances. Fail, then pick yourself up and keep going.


18



“Love is giving your heart without expectation.” - Dan Fogelman


16, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



1

Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.


14



Give people the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, assign the best possible motive to their actions.


14-18



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21