Thinking of asking her out? Want to apply for a job that sounds great? Remember you start off at “No.” You currently do not have a date with her. If you ask and she says no, you’ve lost nothing.


15, 17, 21



Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”


7, 8, 9, 13, 16



It matters more “how” you go to college than “where” you go to college.


16



Check out teen life coach Coaching with Will.


13



You are not your thoughts. Focus more on your choices / actions.


17



Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.


15, 17, 21



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Ask him for Christmas present: recite Andy Weir’s “The Egg.” Bonus points for memorization! Also great idea for audition tape. )I’m assuming you’ll be in theater!) xoxo


15



Learn to tie knots.


10



The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



In the words of Bear Grylls... '”Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying.”


14, 17, 21



Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.


18, 19, 21



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



Great reminders for how to deal with belligerent kids. https://mailchi.mp/ahaparenting/8-things-you-can-do-when-your-child-is-belligerent


4



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



We are all incurably human.


5, 15, 21



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Sioux Nation quote: No one heals himself by wounding another.


16



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”


3



Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.


15, 21



Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.


7



Plan a trip someplace where we can see the Northern Lights.


15