On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.
17, 21
People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.
11, 13, 17, 19, 21
Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.
12, 15
It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. ____ In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. ____ If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.” — Haim G. Ginott, Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers (Re-ticket this every year.)
6
Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.
12, 15, 18, 21
“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.
15, 16, 17, 18, 21
Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.
7
Teen years are a whole other ballgame. Find a community and stay up with trends and news. Check out the website Raising Teens Today.
12
If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.
16, 21
Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.
12
If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.
16
Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?
15, 21
Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.
5
Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.
6-9
Plastic stackable dresser - 5 drawers labeled for days of the week. Put outfits in each. No drama emergencies on school days, the week’s wardrobe is planned out.
5
On marriage: Your spouse will change. You will change. Some for the better, some parts for the worse. Tastes, plans, health, body shape, education, needs, beliefs... all change throughout our lives. It’s growth. (It’s also decay!) Support each other through both. Encourage each other to be true to yourselves. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Pray for each other. Have fun together. Keep learning about each other. Be your partner’s biggest fan.
21
You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.
21