The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach
18, 21
“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.
19
Challenge yourself to excel at something. You’ll be astonished how good you can get by practicing consistently. There’s nothing magical about high school quarterbacks or drummers. Girls like boys who have something going on.
13, 14, 17
Ask “Is your belly full?” Instead of saying “Clean your plate!” Have them stay in touch with hunger/food connection.
3
“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.
16
“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter
15, 18, 21
Play to win but play fair. Be a gracious winner. Someone has to lose. Sometimes it will be you. Don’t whine.
10
YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.
12, 15, 16
Be mindful of avoiding the “race to nowhere.” No sense in stressing over school and work. We get one life!! LIVE it! Work hard at what you love. There will be seasons of busting your butt, and that’s good. Just make sure it’s in pursuit of something you’re passionate about. And I hope you take seasons of rest, too. Time to recharge, reflect and decide what’s next for you.
14, 16, 18, 21
Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.
17
Grandpa was a Marine, though you’d never know it. Slight in build and oh-so gentle natured. But underneath he had a good bit of grit. He never complained. He once told me “You can stand any amount of pain for a little while.” (Basically saying suck it up and hang in there until help arrives.) I’ve never forgotten it.
18
Happiness: Someone (or some creature) to love, something to do and something to hope for. Don’t get too caught up in the rat race, money doesn’t mean you’ve arrived.
20
Music, arts, words or dancing can have a profound effect on the spirit. Let's find something that gives you chills!
11-14
Surprise! You’re not perfect. No one is. Do your best, but don’t expect perfection from yourself or any other human, young or old. Have compassion...We’re all in this together and we need each other to be kind and encouraging.
17, 21
Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!
16, 21
“There’s a hole in the side of a boat. It can’t be fixed, it’s never going away, and you can’t get a new boat. This is your boat. What u have to do is bail water out faster than it’s coming in.” -Aaron Sorkin (Newsroom season 3 episode 6.)
17, 21
Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.
13, 15, 17
Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.
12
Thinking of asking her out? Want to apply for a job that sounds great? Remember you start off at “No.” You currently do not have a date with her. If you ask and she says no, you’ve lost nothing.
15, 17, 21
Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)
19
Consider the source. Consider whose company they are in. You may not know much about issue xyz but look and see who endorses them. If people you trust place trust in them.
11, 13, 15, 18, 21
Be protective, never be possessive. watch out for your friends’ well-being, their good names, that’s what friends do. But friends don’t try to manipulate someone’s feelings, thoughts or actions.Same goes for romantic relationships.
10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 21