Never follow an “I love you” with a “but...” Instead, follow it with “and...” or “that’s why...” Remember this when they’re young, teach it to them when they’re older.
10, 20
Overflowing toilet 101: Teach how to turn off the water valve and how to plunge. From now on, you break it, you fix it.
11
If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.
16, 21
IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!
12, 14, 16, 21
“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.
5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.
12, 16, 20
Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!
16, 21
You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.
1-4
Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.
7
Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.
18
Check your ego and question your motives. Are you in it for the right reasons or because of how it would look if you weren’t? Do you feel like you need to be a hero or the smartest one in the room? If the answer is yes I would strongly recommend that you get right with yourself.
13, 16, 19, 21
It’s fine to keep it simple when you pray: Thank You for __ I’m sorry for ___ Help me with ____ Keep _____ close to you You are awesome! I trust you.
14
“If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?” From a story told by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak ....Do you know what causes him pain or anxiety? What he’s afraid of? In an age-appropriate way....Talk about our fears and the things that hurt us. He will see it’s normal to have fear and pain, and he will learn he can come to me with anything that troubles him.
8
Have fun at parties! Mingle, dance, participate in the good energy. But if there’s drinking to excess, someone needs to be lifeguard. Young people don’t know how dangerous alcohol can be. And sadly, someone needs to be bodyguard. Men often try to take advantage of intoxicated women.
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3
Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!
3-4
You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.
14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)
14