“You will encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.” -Maya Angelou


17



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Ask your emotions “why” three times.


14, 16, 21



Stay fit. Try to increase fitness every year in some way: Strength, flexibility, endurance, or a specific sport or practice. Never take your body for granted.


14, 20



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



When someone introduces themselves as transgender, it’s no big deal. Simply say “nice to meet you” or “cool.” Then politely ask “What are your pronouns?” And then you know how they prefer to be addressed.


13



Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.


14



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.


13, 15, 21



Google Taylor Swift contrast Kim Kardashion at 2024 Superbowl. Good vibes are always better than “cool.” Show up. Dog park energy. Forget trying to look cool.


15, 17, 18, 21



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.


13, 21



“Fitting in” requires that we change who we are to fit someone else’s idea. True “belonging” never asks us to change who we are, it demands that we be who we are. - Brene Brown


12, 17



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Brennan Manning lectures and books.


19



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



You have to be in a good place to be able to make good choices. If you’re run-down, sick, grieving, addicted or in a really bad relationship, etc. you won’t be able to make healthy choices. It’s a catch 22 I know. My point is that you have to take care of yourself (or get help) so you can be in a position to make healthy, good choices.


17, 21



Read JAMA article by Brooke Peterson Gabster.


18



Stay put, don’t wonder if lost when we hike.


2, 3, 5



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



I hope you don’t have to struggle with your weight. For me it’s been a lifelong battle. Some things I learned are: Listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry. Eat as many vegetables as possible. Ignore the scale and focus on other goals, ones that are in your control such as how long you can run (or dance, or row, etc.) Reading a book instead of plopping down in front of the tv with a bowl of ice cream, saying “no thanks” to a treat. Focusing on pounds lost or gained is deflating. Stay in good shape for as long as you can! Make your health a priority. It’s much harder to get in shape than to stay in shape.


21



You tackled a big project and you're wondering if it will be a success. Ask yourself: "Was I fair?" Was I kind?" " Did I put in the work?" If the answer is yes, then rest well, no matter what the outcome. If the answer is no, go back and fix it.


17



Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.


12, 16, 19, 21



When choosing a partner I think it's less important that you both "believe" the same things and more important that you VALUE the same things and share the same priorities.


20



YouTube Randy Pauch The Last Lecture. Watch together.


14



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)


5