There are all kinds of ways people end up destroying their lives in an attempt to cope with fear, loneliness, stress, grief, boredom or anxiety, etc. A few: Drug/alcohol addiction, gambling, shopping/ spending addiction, hoarding, sex addiction, fundamentalism/ extremist politics, workaholics, deadbeats. Nobody starts out trying to be an addict or a nut. It happens when you continually choose to avoid dealing with the pain or anxiety you’re feeling. Choices become habits. Habits can form addictions. That’s why it’s SO important to find healthy ways to deal with difficult feelings or situations. What makes you feel better when you’re upset? A shower, a run, music, a game, friends, quiet time, being outdoors ... There are lots of ways to take good care of your spirit. Keep choosing them. Ask for help when you’re not able to make good choices on your own.


14, 17, 19, 21



Watch the documentary Kelce (2023)


12



Give them marshmallows to suck on when they get a sore throat. Takes away the pain!


3,4,5,6



Look into Rustic Pathways to see the world and do some good.


15



Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!


14, 19



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



vaccinate! Science is good.


0, 1, 2, 3, 5



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Read maps.


9-14



Remember to $@!#% the switch when you’re stuck: If you’re all up in your head, sad or anxious, do something physical. If you’re down with a physical problem, dive into your mind for diversion and healing.


11,14, 17, 21



“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill


16, 21



Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace. Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”


10, 12, 15, 19



I wish you had known my father he was such a good man gentle and loving. One early memory I have of him is that one night in our neighborhood I was hit by a bike - a boy was riding his bike and road up on the sidewalk and ran right into me. The bike hit me in the face with the handlebars and I was knocked down before I knew what happened. My father scooped me up and carried me back home. I was crying the whole time. the funny thing is I don't remember the pain, but I very clearly remember being in his arms and hearing the clip clop clip clop of his shoes. It was an after dinner walk - he was still in his suit from work and he had his loafers on and made a clip clop on the sidewalk I will never forget the feeling of being carried in his arms as he hurried back to the house to take care of me. I was in pain but I knew I would be OK. I miss him very much and I wish you knew him.


15



When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?


15, 21



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



Help him practice having tense conversations without getting a tone of voice.


15



Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Send them outside with an age-appropriate pair of scissors and have them “give the grass a haircut.” Fine motor skills!


2-4



Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.


8



You don’t have to choose to be single forever to enjoy being single for now.


17, 21



Some relationships (or jobs) are f*cked, and cannot be unf*cked. Release them and move on.


21



Google Taylor Swift contrast Kim Kardashion at 2024 Superbowl. Good vibes are always better than “cool.” Show up. Dog park energy. Forget trying to look cool.


15, 17, 18, 21



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



Control isn’t safety. Safety is putting in the physical/mental/intellectual/emotional/spiritual work so you’re confident in your ability to address whatever comes your way and thrive, bounce back after getting knocked down.


14, 21



“There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings


7, 12



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.


4