Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
14, 19
Just show up. That’s all we can really control. Show up, (don’t run) and take it from there. You got this.
21
Cotillion and other social clubs abound in our area. They usually start around 5th or 6th grade. start looking into what might be a good fit. Lay the ground work that they will attend.
1Infant-12
People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.
20
I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.
16,21
Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon
5
People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.
14, 17
Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.
2-18
Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.
13
You can forgive someone without speaking to them. Or you can move on without forgiving. Closure isn’t necessary to moving on. The only thing necessary is to move. Move your body, change your perspective, go on a trip, go to a new coffee shop, just move.
16, 19, 21
What does it mean to grow up? Sacrifice- When you put someone else’s needs before your own. Responsibility- When you can be counted on to do what’s right and also to do what has to be done. Trustworthiness- You keep your word.Sincerity - You are true to yourself and don’t pretend in order to fit in. It’s about choices and actions and deciding what you value and then building a life around those values.
18
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
You can’t hit ‘em all outta the park. Some days (dates, reviews, vacations, report cards, etc.) are just going to fall flat. No worries, the next one will be better.
15, 19
Sex is not an act, it’s a pool. Stay in the shallow end for as long as possible. Have fun. Be safe. Be respectful.
15
Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.
4-11
"Dollar Store Engineering Kit:" Popsicle sticks, pool noodles, pipe cleaners, straws, light sticks, cups, etc. ALSO LOOK FOR Styrofoam gliders, Styrofoam balls, science kits, candy for candy structures, seasonal or holiday themes. Pinterest has a ton of great ideas for STEM activities.
7
Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.
1,2
“It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to grieve. Because you can also live your life, and love your life, and be happy too.” Excellent advice from 9/11 survivor.
12, 15, 19
They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.
17, 20
“There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings
7, 12
Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.
7
You’ve been entrusted with so much. Think about how much of an honor that is, and how big a responsibility.
16, 18, 21