To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.
18, 20
Do something that feeds your soul every day. Experience or create joy, even if just a small spark of it.
17
Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..
14, 18, 21
Think about building a career. Take low-paying or no-paying jobs that will give you the experience you need to build it. It's not all about the paycheck, especially when you're young and don't have too many bills to pay.
19-21
I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?
11
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12
Discuss prescription (and OTC) medications. Doctors prescribe or recommend these medicines, they’re not for fun and should be taken seriously. Discuss how medicines are obtained, never shared, which is dangerous and illegal. Emphasize the risk of dependence.
10
Get up early on a Saturday and go downtown. See how fun it is to be up before the rest of the world.
7-9
Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.
12, 14, 17, 21
Don’t be “too” sure of yourself. There’s always a chance you could be wrong, so be open to what others are saying and consider the possibility they could be right. They very easily could know stuff you don’t. Their experience could be a lot different from yours, so just be careful of insisting you’re right.
15, 21
Some things just don’t come easy. That’s the point. Practice working for what you want. Nothing is sweeter than when you accomplish something you set out to do. Go for it!
11, 14, 17, 21
Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.
15, 21
It’s fine to keep it simple when you pray: Thank You for __ I’m sorry for ___ Help me with ____ Keep _____ close to you You are awesome! I trust you.
14
Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.
14, 19, 21
Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo
11, 12, 14, 17, 21
They’re gonna be pretty mean to you for a few years. Love them, if only to spite them! (ha ha)
11. 12, 13
Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!
13, 16, 18, 21
“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.
17, 21
You’re someone’s cup of tea. I don’t mean there is only one person out there for you, I mean someone is waiting to love you exactly how you are. Stop wasting time with fools who want to change you to fit their ideal.
15, 19, 21
Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.
14, 21
Start explaining wants vs. needs. Continue explaining for the next 30 years. We don’t always get what we want. That’s okay. 4 year olds can begin to understand this.
4
Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.
12-21