That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.


19



Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



Parent the way you want your children to behave. Compassion, patience. Loving.


1, 2, 3, 4



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach


18, 21



Staying calm is 90% of the battle. Practice.


13, 15, 18, 21



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


6



1

“Take the risks. Make the big moves, even if they’re small moves. Forge ahead with your lives in any and every direction that moves you. I’m asking you to be fearless.” - Rebecca Pearson (character from NBC tv drama ‘This Is Us’)


21



Build a treehouse together


8



Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”


15



“Life is good when you are happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.” -Pope Francis Endeavor to make people happy by the work you do, by the way you treat them, by your contributions to the world. But don’t ever try to make someone happy by changing yourself.


13, 17



Listen to podcast “1912” about an incident of alarming racial injustice Forsyth County GA.


12



“Remember Divas and Friends, if you don’t think good things about yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?” - Sheryl Lee Ralph


11, 12. 14. 16, 17, 19, 21



Affection is to be shared, never taken.


14



Trying to avoid the real work makes the task 100 times harder. Do the work.


9, 15, 21



Give baby a banana before bed and they’ll sleep through the night. (Obviously once they’re on solid food.)


1



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



One of my favorite scenes in a movie is James Bond with Pierce Brosnan. Bullets are whizzing by him and he just so of gives a mildly annoyed look while focusing on what he’s doing. It’s quintessential cool.


15, 21



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.


18



Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.


11, 12, 13



Netflix “Who Was?” A biography show for kids.


6-8



Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.


14



People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.


11, 13, 17, 19, 21



Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)


14-21