A mommy-friend of mine gave me some good advice: "Count the wins." So what if you didn't clean the house, you showered! So what if she's wearing 9 different colors - she dressed herself! Great advice. So remember, especially on the difficult days - and there will be many: Count the wins.


1



Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.


1-4



Just because someone is an a-hole it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.


17, 21



Plan trip to Outside Lands music festival at Golden Gate Park


17



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Music, arts, words or dancing can have a profound effect on the spirit. Let's find something that gives you chills!


11-14



Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.


11



Plan a trip to Disney this year.


6



Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower.”


14



Talk to him about applying to Democracy Summer program started by Rep. J. Raskin.


18



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


9-11



Find one or two scary documentaries on the dangers of gambling. Watch together. Betting on sports is a big thing in some schools and I want to scare the $@!#% out of him about how bad gambling can screw up his life. Check online tools from gamblers anonymous.


15



On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.


17, 21



Before heading out for a good time, make a mental note on the ways you could wreck or end your life if bad stuff happened: Sick/hurt/dead from alcohol or drugs, unintended pregnancy, or being raped (or being charged with rape.) What do u have to do to protect yourself and keep things from going from good times to life-changing nightmare. Keep your wits about ya. And look out for your friends too.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Great message about not letting people hurt you just because they have painful scars. Their scars aren’t yours to heal, and you deserve to be treated well. Very well. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2beHxu/


15, 21



No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.


17



Anyone who asks you to violate your values doesn’t deserve your allegiance.


16, 21



Changed behavior is the only real apology.


15



Encourage others!!!


13



Buy “Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids” by Kristen Jenson


8



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.


19



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.


15, 16



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21



Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!


1-21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.


16, 21



You have yet to meet so many parts of yourself. All kinds of different people, places and experiences will draw those parts out of you.


15, 18, 21