Beware that when you’re first exposed to a new thing: a car, a college tour, house, etc. you will feel AMAZING and totally seduced by the shiny newness. Be cool. Remember that glitters is not gold. Things don’t need to be perfect and even if the house is it doesn’t mean life will be.
15, 18, 21
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
20
In 2024 there’s a medical test to screen for cancer that involves collecting one’s poo and sending it off to the lab. They just called me to tell me they canceled my test due to a clerical error on the order. I was so mad. The thought of doing that poo test again was freaking me out. Why didn’t the flunky who handles the specimens call before they pitched it? Then it dawned on me: it’s someone’s *job* to process poo specimens. Probably hundreds a day. It’s okay they didn’t stop to call and straighten out my test.perspective!!
17, 21
When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.
15
Take a CPR class together. Emphasize importance of staying certified ( or making a habit of watching an online course every year on the same day, like the day after Thanksgiving or something like that.
17
Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)
7
Police officers and members of the military put their lives on the line to protect us. Be respectful of them and thank them for their service.
9
Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.
14, 17, 21
Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.
5
You can be angry. But you can’t drive while angry or talk to a child or work, or do anything dangerous when you’re angry.
15, 20
This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
21
"Dollar Store Engineering Kit:" Popsicle sticks, pool noodles, pipe cleaners, straws, light sticks, cups, etc. ALSO LOOK FOR Styrofoam gliders, Styrofoam balls, science kits, candy for candy structures, seasonal or holiday themes. Pinterest has a ton of great ideas for STEM activities.
7
Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.
12-19
Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.
9
Sometimes you’ll be in the wrong side of history. When you discover you’re wrong, move to the right side of history. When I first started training as a nurse it was the early 1990’s. HIV/$@!#% was pretty new. I remember telling my fellow student I would double glove and take any “over the top” precautions I wanted to. That was my fear and ignorance talking. Amazing how cozy self-righteousness makes you feel. I was wrong. Always look at the issue through the lens of humanity.
16, 21
Pedestrians get hit all the time. Be aware when you’re driving OR walking. Wear reflective gear if walking at night. Stay off your phone when driving OR walking.
15
I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo
18, 21
Third or fourth grade is usually a time of friendship drama. Hurt feelings abound. Treat yourself and them gently. Hold space for sadness and frustration. The last thing we ever want to do is to change who we are (what we like) in order to fit in. Good friends encourage you to let your light shine, they don’t mock your light, or imply you should dim it. I don’t care who’s popular, good looking etc, beware of anyone who thinks mean is cool. Gravitate towards kind, weird, talented, interesting, funny, etc. Good vibes are always better than “cool.”
8, 9, 10