A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.
People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.
Major regret: focusing too much on being liked (or loved.) You can’t *make* anyone love you. Some people just won’t like you… that’s okay. Make yourself proud. Do YOUR thing. Spend time on what matters to you.
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
Drills (Writing pages of lines, grammar games,etc) Contractions, pronouns, commonly misspelled words, homophones like their and they’re, etc.) Drill drill drill! Written communication is so important and a simple mistake could cost big points at work.)
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope:
“They love you no matter what.
They always want to be close to you.
Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing.
They want to be just like you when they grow up.
You are their hero.
You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”
I like to say a Hail Mary just to join the chorus, to add my voice to the millions who are praying in that moment. The world has plenty of people thinking or doing horrible things, we need to add to the good, add to the beauty as much as possible at every turn. Saying a quick prayer is sometimes all I can muster.
Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”
Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.
You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.)
Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!
You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.