The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )


1, 13, 19



Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.


8



The kindest person in the room may not necessarily be the smartest. But the cruelest person is always the dumbest.


10, 15, 21



Always wear an undershirt with a dress shirt.


15



People want to be heard. Listen to your clients, even when they're upset. Don't make excuses or anything, just let them talk. They mostly just want to be heard. Once they're calm, you can solve the problem.


21



People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



Read Prefontaine.


13



Guard your health and fitness as if it were your most valuable possession. (It is.)


14, 17, 21



You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.


12, 14, 16, 17, 21



Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.” People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.


9



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



Be mindful of avoiding the “race to nowhere.” No sense in stressing over school and work. We get one life!! LIVE it! Work hard at what you love. There will be seasons of busting your butt, and that’s good. Just make sure it’s in pursuit of something you’re passionate about. And I hope you take seasons of rest, too. Time to recharge, reflect and decide what’s next for you.


14, 16, 18, 21



“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. - Prince Harry Or to put it simply, wherever you go, there you are.


12, 15, 21



Listen to The Moth (storytelling) together.


15



Brennan Manning lectures and books.


19



Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.


12-14



People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.


14, 17



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



Don’t worry if they’re not listening to what you say...They watch what you do. They study it.


13



Some people think the world owes THEM. They have a backwards. We are servants. How can we best serve?


12-21



What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.


13



Surprise! You’re not perfect. No one is. Do your best, but don’t expect perfection from yourself or any other human, young or old. Have compassion...We’re all in this together and we need each other to be kind and encouraging.


17, 21



People have big feelings when they realize how unjust and unfair the world can be. Totally natural and healthy. The problem starts when they channel those feelings into destructive actions and beliefs: violence, war, crime and hatred. We will be so much better off if we can learn to deal with our collective and individual pain in a way that is therapeutic and constructive. Maybe we can help each other to be creative in the face of fear, grief, pain, anxiety, anger, betrayal, injustice.


14, 16, 19, 21



Try not to confuse excess with quality. It’s okay not to have the biggest house on the block. It’s okay not to drive the fanciest car.


21



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Name five women who contributed to our country’s history.


8, 13, 16



Re-Read "Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Landscape" by Peggy Orenstein.


13



“Dress braver than you feel. Act braver than you feel.” - Ray


17



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21