Newborn babies don’t know their tummy hurst because they have to pass gas. They don’t know how to fall asleep when they’re tired. We have to provide all that context and help them learn about themselves. And we have to be patient with them. It’s hard work being a baby!


0, 1, 2



Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


7-17



1

You don’t have to like everyone you go to school with, or work with. You don’t even have to like your family! BUT, you have to treat everyone with respect and kindness. They are worthy of that no matter what your opinion of them may be.


15, 21



Look into summer jobs at national parks.


15, 17



If you’ve never dressed a newborn before, an easy way to get the hang of it is to lay the outfit flat on the bed and then place the baby on top of it. Tuck her little arms and legs inside one at a time, then zip or snap them in. Done!


Infant



Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy


15



Read Admiral William McRaven’s autobiography Sea Stories.


17



Go to Montgomery County Fair


5-14



Highly recommend book about math and multiplication techniques:“The Best of Times” by Greg Tang.


10



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.


8



Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.


20



Follow love and kindness wherever they may take you and you’ll be fine. xoxo


13, 17, 21



My worst fear is that I will be unable to reach you when you’re in pain. All I want as a parent, what my whole job boils down to, is to be there when you need me. How can I help you?


13



Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21



I’m going to keep from telling them how to feel.


4-18



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.


12, 15, 18, 21



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.


15, 20



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



Are they (we) getting enough quiet?


8, 12-14



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.


19



Let people do what they want to do so you can see what they’d rather do.


16



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



Participate in an exchange program - either through hosting or traveling yourself & immerse yourself in the new culture


17



Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5