You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. What’s something worth being hated for?


11, 14, 17, 21



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. - Prince Harry Or to put it simply, wherever you go, there you are.


12, 15, 21



Pick an issue. One single issue, i.e. the economy or the environment or coverage of a certain event such as a crime or a sport season. Read at least one newspaper article on that topic every day. NYT, London Times etc.


14, 15, 16, 21



Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling. If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.


13, 20



Some people have more money than sense. Just because u can afford something doesn’t mean you should buy it.


15



Jumper cables 101


14



Kindness + Confidence = secret to success and “popularity.”


10, 12, 13, 14, 15, 17, 18, 21



If they like you you’ll know. If they don’t you’ll be confused.


15, 21



You don’t have to have everything you want. Practice saying “no thank you” to dessert or passing on the purchase you’re considering. Benefits are plentiful: Build self-discipline (which is like a muscle) and you learn you’re really ok and often happier when you don’t indulge a “want.”


13, 15, 21



I hope you find a partner with who are your most authentic self, and who you love for who they genuinely are.


15, 21



Check out from the library or Amazon: “My First Money Book: A Guide for Parents and Children to Saving, Spending, Sharing, and Investing Your Money” by Reggie Nelson


8



Change the furniture around in your dorm, apartment or bedroom every once in a while. It’s an easy way to break up a timeline like for a holiday a season or after a breakup, etc.


18



What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.


13



Just do the next right thing. One step at a time, you’ll get there.


13, 18, 21



People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.


14, 17



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



Never make someone feel bad for liking something. Not your kids, your friends or colleagues. Joy is a beautiful thing. Cherish it in yourself and in others.


8, 9, 12



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Put your purse, (wallet,bag, phone, or shoe) in the backseat with the baby. Unattended babies die every day and it’s my worst nightmare.


Infant-3, 21



Don’t be “too” sure of yourself. There’s always a chance you could be wrong, so be open to what others are saying and consider the possibility they could be right. They very easily could know stuff you don’t. Their experience could be a lot different from yours, so just be careful of insisting you’re right.


15, 21



They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17



Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!


13, 16, 18, 21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Go easy on the cologne, perfume, scented lotions, etc. People shouldn't be able to smell your perfume a mile away, only up close. Also, it's generally not appropriate for work.


17



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



“Parents detect fake friends. Kids detect fake relatives and friends detect fake love.” - I forget who’s grandma said it.


14