What does entitlement mean to you? I think it means the assumption that we are owed something simply by virtue of who we are rather than what we’ve earned.
10
So what you can. If you’re overwhelmed or depressed, and I can’t get it together to brush your teeth, rinse with water. Tomorrow, rinse with mouthwash. In a few days, brush without bothering to put toothpaste on the brush. This is a pretty extreme example but u get the picture. If you can’t do a load of laundry, just pick up the clothes into a pile. Tomorrow separate the pile. If you can’t face doing a full leg day at the gym, do one rep. Just do what you can, and eventually you will get up to speed. Give yourself grace, my love.
15, 17, 21
Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!
Infant-1
When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.
2, 3, 4, 5
Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.
7
Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.
5
“Distraction is the death of art. But boredom is the birth place of it.” (Forgot who said this)
12, 15, 21
Discuss prescription (and OTC) medications. Doctors prescribe or recommend these medicines, they’re not for fun and should be taken seriously. Discuss how medicines are obtained, never shared, which is dangerous and illegal. Emphasize the risk of dependence.
10
Learn the difference between keeping secrets and keeping some things to yourself. Never kiss and tell. Err on the side of saying less rather than more.
13, 15, 19
Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.
9
Following your conscience is more important than getting ahead and will make a greater difference in how happy you are. Getting ahead or not isn’t entirely up to you, but listening to your conscience is.” - Senator Mitt Romney (paraphrase)
16
My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.
16
Book “30 Days of Sex Talks” comes in three volumes: Ages 3-7, 8-11 And 13 . Very highly rated. Available on Amazon.
4, 8, 12
I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record
12, 15, 18
There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, it's trite and too simple. It's almost insulting. But without discounting the real pain behind your problems, I encourage you to practice exactly what it says. There's no need (or way) to forget about your problems, but you CAN change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord. Meditate on God's power, His (Her/Their) goodness, patience, his grace, his beauty, and most of all, his love. Hard to do? Yes, maybe at first. But how much time do you spend thinking about what is causing you pain? (I have a talent for perseverating on it. I go over and over and over how I was wronged or why I failed, or how I could have said it differently.) no matter how much time I spend, I don't feel any better! If you learn to take half the time you would spend thinking about your [very real] pain, and focus on God's goodness, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. It's not even about praying for help, or blessings, etc. Just think about how infinitely GOOD He is: Artist, scientist, parent, environmentalist, creator, healer, friend, forgiving judge, patient teacher. Loving father. Christ, the human face of God, is saying "Look right here. Hold on tight to me. I know. I love you. I've got you." Practice shifting your focus and you'll get better and better at it. The pain WILL fade. Your heart will fill with light. Age 15 Faith
15
Grandpa was a Marine, though you’d never know it. Slight in build and oh-so gentle natured. But underneath he had a good bit of grit. He never complained. He once told me “You can stand any amount of pain for a little while.” (Basically saying suck it up and hang in there until help arrives.) I’ve never forgotten it.
18
Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.
19
Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.
21
Whatever you choose to do, do it well and there will always be a demand for you. (Quoting Adam Schiff from his book “Midnight in Washington.”
16
When you know better, do better. No one is born a fully actualized human being! We are all in the process of becoming who we wish to be.
16, 21
Mallomars in Christmas stockings. Mom NEVER buys Mallomars. But Santa does. (Reticket x 15 years.)
4
Summers in Ireland and UK Drama camps? I could work from there while he did his thing.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
If you’re waiting on someone to change for the relationship to work, it’s not gonna work. Love ‘em or leave ‘em. But forget trying to change them. (Same works in reverse. If someone wants you to change something about yourself before they commit, don’t walk away…RUN!)
14, 18, 21
Journal! I forget who said it but it’s so true: we don’t know how we think until we see what we say. Talking into a voice memo app or writing in a journal will help you process and grow.
13, 15, 19, 21
Connect with people however you can, in whatever way feels natural to you: Talk, listen, perform, compete, create, laugh, pray, explore, share your truth, acknowledge the divine in yourself and in everyone you meet.
16, 21