If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done…
Make yourself do it.
You’re never going to “feel like it.”
Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.
Never make someone feel bad for liking something. Not your kids, your friends or colleagues. Joy is a beautiful thing. Cherish it in yourself and in others.
I’m parenting as in most things, staying calm is more than half the battle. Practice keeping your cool in all situations. No yelling blaming freaking out or meanness. Calm rules the day.
A mommy-friend of mine gave me some good advice: "Count the wins." So what if you didn't clean the house, you showered! So what if she's wearing 9 different colors - she dressed herself! Great advice. So remember, especially on the difficult days - and there will be many: Count the wins.
That uneasy, uncomfortable or even downright painful feeling you get when you’re faced with something that challenges you ... resist the urge to run away from it. Take a breath and just sit with it for a minute. That feeling you’re feeling is growth. Growth always hurts a little bit. Give yourself a beat to get adjusted before you decide if you want to stay or turn back.
I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true.
These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.
Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.
A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.
Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.
Everybody emits energy. What sort of energy do you want to put out into the universe? Your thoughts, actions, prayers, struggles, laughter, etc. that’s all you. Your energy is all your own. Spend some time thinking about what kind of aura to want to have.
Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)
***Manners!! *** Etiquette is the secret sauce. Everyone appreciates being treated with respect. Etiquette is the art and science of respecting others. It’s timeless and universal. Customs change, hence the need for constant study, but respect is always the foundation. In summary: Be nice. Start with yourself. Study etiquette. It will help you in every single interaction you have, social, professional, financial, everything. Manners apply to every human, in every interaction, even on the hard days. Hence, the need for practice.
“What do you think about keeping things PG-rated for a while? We’re both just figuring stuff out. The last thing I’d want to do is hurt you.” Or whatever spin you want to put on the idea that there’s no rush, and plenty of amazing sensations to experience and explore, long before things go further than kissing. Hang out in that PG range as long as possible. And if you can’t talk with your partner about that then you probably shouldn’t be having sex anyway.
Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.
Work the problem backwards. Start with the solution (desired outcome) and count down from there each step. Some steps will be small, some big. But you’ll get there!