Here’s one definition of a saint: Someone who isn’t a jerk, doesn’t complain or whine when they’re sick or in pain.
15, 19
“Your warmth can be an invitation that unlocks their own.” - Elizabeth Lesser. I love this quote because it’s so true that when you’re kind and genuine, people respond. They take it as a signal that you are a safe place for them to express themselves, which will enable a true connection to be formed. You both win when that happens.
15, 21
Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.
12
Grandpa used to describe injuries and medical procedures as “It’s a nothin.” I think of this every time I have to endure something painful.
14, 18
Remember when you’re faced with bullies, jerks and people who say bad things , follow advice from the Obama's: "When they go low we go high."
1Infant-14
My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.
16
You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff
15, 21
Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.
9-15
Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.
11
Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.
17, 21
Sex is something you do *with* someone, not *to* them. It should never be about scoring or bragging. It doesn’t make you a man. A man is someone who respects himself and others
13-17
Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.” People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.
9
If you witness a moment of vulnerability in someone, keep it to yourself. Be respectful of people's dignity.
14-18
Mindset for a breakup: “I’d rather adjust to your absence than be continually frustrated by your presence.” Can work with romantic partners, jobs, habits...anything you’re hanging on to that you know you should let go of.
19
Zootopia is a good movie to illustrate what a bully is and how we should stand up to them when they are hurting or taunting other kids.
5-8
This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.
21
You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!
13