Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21
A dear friend of the family used to swear by the many healing properties of Seabreeze (alcohol based astringent.) She’d prescribe it for everything from sunburn to bug bites, rashes and scrapes. it stung like heck but she was right: The stuff is a miracle! I always keep a bottle Seabreeze around and think of Mimi every time I use it.
18
Jon Stewart talking about Bruce Springsteen at Kennedy Center Honors: “I didn’t understand his music for a long time. I didn’t understand it until I learned what it is to yearn.” That’s why art hits you differently at different ages. You filter the art through the lens of your life experience.
15, 21
We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)
16
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3
Pretty much everything boils down to looking for love, its many forms. Look in good (creative) places. Avoid looking for love in bad (destructive) places.
15, 17, 19, 21
Let’s talk about hungry kids. What can we do to help? Donate? Volunteer? Start a Little Free Pantry?
7-12
Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!
17
“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.
1-5
Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.
14
Get up early on a Saturday and go downtown. See how fun it is to be up before the rest of the world.
7-9
Soothe a newborn: Swaddle , shushing noise, swing, side/stomach position, suck on a binkie. Read The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp (or watch the video.) It' a life-saver.
Infant
You’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea. What’s something worth being hated for?
11, 14, 17, 21
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
The "work" in "relationships take work" should be like the "work" it takes to go to the beach. “Sure, you gotta pack food, beverages, drive there, park, and set up... But you get to the beach
18, 21
Drinking doesn’t work like climbing a hill, it works like surfing waves. “More” is not always better. Once you feel tipsy, drinking more will make you feel *worse*. Remember “more alcohol will ruin my buzz.” Coast, recover, then okay to start again.
14. 15. 17. 18. 21
Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace. Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”
10, 12, 15, 19
“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.
16
Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.
21
No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)
4
“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.” -Chasten Buttigieg
12