People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.
20
Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.
17, 21
It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)
8, 10, 11, 12, 16, 21
Adopting a “do it right now” mentality has done wonders for my self-discipline. Something on the floor? Grab it right now. Thinking about cooking later? Cook right now. Laundry finished? Put them up right now. Home from a trip? Unpack right then. It’s the small things.
8, 9, 12, 17
Great article on making math fun: https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/how-to-get-reluctant-children-to-embrace-math/2014/03/04/4be99e46-959d-11e3-8461-8a24c7bf0653_story.html
6
Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.
16, 21
“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.
15-20
It’s hard to accept that the world can be so cruel and unfair, but sometimes accepting it and focusing on what part of it you CAN change is - I’ve learned - the key.
15
Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.
8
Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)
15, 21
When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.
2, 3, 4, 5
I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.
2
Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.
12
"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer
15, 21
Stay fit. Try to increase fitness every year in some way: Strength, flexibility, endurance, or a specific sport or practice. Never take your body for granted.
14, 20
Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.
5, 12-14
Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!
6
Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.
13
Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)
1, 10
Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.
15
Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.
4-9
Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
12, 16, 19, 21