An exercise in assumption. Have them answer “Just because I _______” doesn’t mean _________”.


10



Follow your dreams…not your boyfriend’s.


16



Born To Dance has lessons and also does birthday parties. A dance class is a good way to get up and out of the house on Saturday mornings during the winter months. It'll be fun at this age - while he's still young enough to enjoy it without being self-conscious. Also a good way to get exercise before he's ready for organized sports.


4-5



Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.


13. 17, 19, 21



You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.


15, 19, 21



Let's all go on a "complaining diet." See how long we can go without a complaint for a weekend. Repeat often.


9-15



Appalachian Mountain Club


9-13



A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it: “There is nothing nothing easy about this thing called grief. Nothing. But I ask you to please please please say yes more often than you say no. Say yes to you. To possibility. To hope. To love. To life. To healing. Please choose the light more often than you choose the darkness. Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness. There are. But it's often so much easier to find them the gifts in the light. Do all you can to stay in the light. Please remember that the person you love so so so dearly lived. Don't forget that. He lived. She lived. Here with you. And your relationship continues. Always. Don't be so overwhelmed and paralyzed and pissed off that he died that she died that you spend most of your time focusing on their death. Focus on your life. Together. Say yes as often as you can. Choose light as often as you can. Remember that he lived as often as you can. Don't lose her in the details of her death. This thing called grief is hard hard hard work. But you are stronger than you think. His book is called Permission to Mourn


21



Home is where they love you.


13, 17, 21



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Kindness is key. Practice being kind even when you don't feel like it. Let's all encourage each other to be kind always. (Or learn how to take a walk or go to our room when we just can't be kind in that moment.)


1-21



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Motivation: Just start. Two minutes. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good.


16



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.


12-21



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.


17



When trying to make a u-turn with a tight turning radius, go VERY slow. .You’ll be more likely to make it and if you don’t make it you won’t cause damage.)


16



Re-Read "Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Landscape" by Peggy Orenstein.


13



If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)


14



Put down your phone and be in the moment. Teach this. Model this.


7



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



Listen to podcast “1912” about an incident of alarming racial injustice Forsyth County GA.


12



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



I heard a song today, “I love you to the bone” by Sammy Copley. It’s a beautiful story of a lifelong love. It’s my prayer for you that your spouse will have that song played at your funeral after you shared a 75 year- long happy marriage. It’s my prayer that your life is filled with love and laughter, and most importantly a partner who grows with you in all good things. And that you love each other to the bone.


21



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20