Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.
15, 21
Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)
7
People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?
11-14, 18, 21
It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.
1Infant-14
A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.
14, 17, 21
Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.
5, 21
Notre Dame Lullabies by the O’Neil Brothers is my favorite album ever. I used to play it at your bedtime when u were a baby and even sometimes when you were a kid. It reminds me of the happiest time of my life, when you came into it. Play it for me when I’m old and gray, okay?
21
When you see someone in military uniform, thank them for their service. Hold the door open for them, etc. If they are behind you in line at Starbucks, pay for their coffee. At the very least, look them in the eye and smile - they’ve made a tremendous sacrifice and you should acknowledge that.
12, 16, 21
Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.
11, 13, 15
Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.
11, 15, 17
Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.
13
Say it early and repeat it often, so that it sinks way down deep: There is nothing you could do to make me stop loving you. No mistake, no failure, no decision, nothing. There is no hole so deep that if you fell into it I wouldn’t climb down to help you out of. I love you no matter what.
7
There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!
17, 21
Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.
12, 13, 14, 15
The $@!#% never ends. Dealing with the $@!#% IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-$@!#%” stage in your life, you’re wrong.
14, 19
Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.
17
There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.
15, 18, 21
Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
14, 19
If you’re easily offended you are easily manipulated. So take a breath and turn off your ego.
14, 19, 21
Just let a sweet moment be. There’s a time for jokes or small talk, but sometimes silence is best.
15,21
Have fun at parties! Mingle, dance, participate in the good energy. But if there’s drinking to excess, someone needs to be lifeguard. Young people don’t know how dangerous alcohol can be. And sadly, someone needs to be bodyguard. Men often try to take advantage of intoxicated women.
14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19
Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.
5, 12-14
I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.
2, 3, 4