Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.


12, 13, 16



Some things just don’t come easy. That’s the point. Practice working for what you want. Nothing is sweeter than when you accomplish something you set out to do. Go for it!


11, 14, 17, 21



Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


17



Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest. Listen to it yearly!


16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Opioids are highly addictive. If possible, stay away from them entirely and definitely not for more than 2-3 days. Manage pain with NSAIDS or Tylenol.


16, 18, 21



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Follow your dreams…not your boyfriend’s.


16



To paraphrase Ted Lasso, it’s the people who think they’ve got it all figured out who delight in judging people and events. It’s better to be open minded, ask questions. Be curious, not judgmental.


15, 21



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear


15, 21



When you’re at home in your own skin you invite people to be at home in theirs too.


14, 20



Rent kayaks.


14-16



Mackinac Island trip


10



Everyone gets crushes but if you’re having an imaginary relationship do so with an imaginary person. It’s disrespectful of someone’s dignity to obsess over them. Not to mention your own dignity!


12, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21



The things we invite to protect us take their job seriously. They will not abandon the watch without a fight to the death. So be careful, very careful about what u invite as armor. Please don’t place your trust in drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, working, disconnecting, etc. Put your trust in that which is creative, honest, loving, beautiful, interesting, inspiring, challenging or peaceful. These things make much better bodyguards, and they will never turn on you.


13, 16, 20



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



Read BIOGRAPHIES. So many interesting stories and valuable lessons. Historical figures, those close to them (those are often the real treats!) Also people from all walks of life, different industries. Artists, entrepreneurs, athletes, statesmen, etc. Bonus points for listening to the audiobook if subject narrates it.


20



Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.


12, 15, 19



Sex: There's no single way to do it "right" but there are lots of ways to do it wrong. Not being respectful and tender towards your partner is usually at the root of "wrong" ways to do it. Also, there is no rush. You may think all your friends are "doing it." They're not. Take your time.


16



Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.


14, 16, 20



Overflowing toilet 101: Teach how to turn off the water valve and how to plunge. From now on, you break it, you fix it.


11



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



“First the pain. Then the waiting. Then the rising.” Glennon Doyle


16, 21



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.


14, 19, 21



Be mindful of avoiding the “race to nowhere.” No sense in stressing over school and work. We get one life!! LIVE it! Work hard at what you love. There will be seasons of busting your butt, and that’s good. Just make sure it’s in pursuit of something you’re passionate about. And I hope you take seasons of rest, too. Time to recharge, reflect and decide what’s next for you.


14, 16, 18, 21