Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Imagine your mind as a really cool nightclub, and you get to be the bouncer out in front. There's a VIP line, and then there's a regular line just everyday people, good, bad, otherwise. The VIPs are feelings. Every single feeling is allowed in, should they choose to come in. We just ask their name, and we treat them with kindness. If they want to talk, we talk. If they don't want to talk, we don't make them talk. We greet them, and we're ready to listen to them. Now, with the other line, the crowd that is everybody, good, bad, and otherwise— that is the line of thoughts that are trying to get into our mind. And some of those, you can take one look at and just say, keep moving, bud. Nope. Some, you're like, oh yeah, you, automatically, you know, just gorgeous, go in, go in. Yes, absolutely. Keep going. Some you have to talk to. Some you have to wait. Some you can kick to the curb immediately. Not all thoughts are welcome just because they're there. All feelings are welcome. All thoughts are not. You are the bouncer.


10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21.



Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)


15, 19, 21



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Water park for fifth birthday


10



Teach them how to eat a chicken wing in one bite


12



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, that's way too simple, even trite. But without discounting the real pain you might be experiencing in a moment of crisis, I encourage you to embrace that sentiment. You can't forget about the problem, but you can change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord.


15



Walk up the Washington monument. No elevator!


11



Sometimes when you win, you lose. And when you lose, you win. Meaning that sometimes when you get what you want it doesn’t work out well. And sometimes wonderful things happen as a result of a failure or disappointment. Chin up. There’s a million paths to happiness and fulfillment. If one doesn’t work out your will find another.


12, 21



Go to minor league baseball games this summer. Better seats, less crowds, easier, cheaper. Great players. Kids won't know the difference.


9-15



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Action is the antidote to anxiety.


12, 14, 17, 21



Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.


11, 15, 17



Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!


6



Read up about the National Parks. Pick one to plan a trip to.


9



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



1

Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5



Never consent to a search. Ask if it’s required. If not, no search. If yes, ask for your lawyer.


17, 21



Toddlers fall... a lot. Most falls are harmless but sometimes bad accidents happen. Head injuries are scary because they bleed and swell. If bleeding doesn't stop within a few minutes or you can see it's a big gash, head to the urgent care. And remember if the swelling goes out (“goose egg”) that’s a good thing: Better out than in.


2



People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.


11, 13, 17, 19, 21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit together


11



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.


17, 21