No dating while unstable. Being responsible for someone’s heart means being prepared to treat them with respect at all times, regardless of whether they make you angry, jealous, annoyed, rejected, humiliated or heartbroken. If (a) you don’t think those things could happen or (b) think there’s a reasonable chance you’d lose your temper, then you’re not ready. And that’s okay! You’ll get there in your own time. In the meantime stay off the market.
12, 14, 16, 18, 21
When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.
15
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
Your body will go through all sorts of shapes and sizes. You’ll have times when you’re gorgeous and times when you’re awkward or frumpy. Whether you’re having a great hair day or sporting a face full of angry pimples, your looks have never and will never define your worth. (And nobody else will ever be defined by theirs.)
13, 15, 21
Overflowing toilet 101: Teach how to turn off the water valve and how to plunge. From now on, you break it, you fix it.
11
Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.
12-14
Throw leftovers and some cut up veggies in an omelette/ frittata. Cuts down on food waste and saves money.
17
Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.
11-15
When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.
21
Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.
15, 17, 20, 21
Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.
14,15, 16, 17, 21
If you don’t know what to do ask yourself how you want to feel. Once you have a good idea of that you can find lots of paths to get you there.
16, 21
When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.
14, 17, 21
Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.
14, 21
What does entitlement mean to you? I think it means the assumption that we are owed something simply by virtue of who we are rather than what we’ve earned.
10
Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!
6, 7, 13-15
You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.
14, 17, 21
Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
7-17
Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.
11, 13, 17, 21
Connect with people however you can, in whatever way feels natural to you: Talk, listen, perform, compete, create, laugh, pray, explore, share your truth, acknowledge the divine in yourself and in everyone you meet.
16, 21
My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.
18
When choosing a partner I think it's less important that you both "believe" the same things and more important that you VALUE the same things and share the same priorities.
20