We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



“Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou


13, 15, 21



“Tell me the story of your day.” (Works better than “how was your day?”


5, 6, 10



When you’re tired, the next best thing to sleep is a shower.


16



Rock those babies to sleep as often as you can.


0, 1, 2



It’s very difficult to pull off sarcasm in written form. It does not translate.


15



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



Mallomars in Christmas stockings. Mom NEVER buys Mallomars. But Santa does. (Reticket x 15 years.)


4



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. - Prince Harry Or to put it simply, wherever you go, there you are.


12, 15, 21



They can shower themselves if you install a hand-held shower head and install a suction cup wall-mount shower head holder lower on the shower wall. It’s easy to do and very cheap. They love it!


4-6



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



Ask smart questions. More importantly, ask stupid questions! So many people are afraid of looking stupid that they totally fake understanding. Even in the very highest levels of career and society. Ask basic questions if something doesn’t make sense. Start at a kindergarten level understanding of a concept then build on it.


15, 20



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



• you can't make anyone love you • not every relationship is meant to last forever • sometimes two good people can make one bad relationship.


16-20



Zoom out! Perspective is your friend. At certain times in our lives we have the focus turned up so high that we don’t see beyond ourselves. (Adolescence is one of those times, totally natural.) Zoom out. You’ll feel better.


13, 15, 17, 21



Alcoholism and gambling addiction run in our family. Be very, very careful around booze and gambling.


14,16, 18, 21



Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.


12



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



The opposite of addiction is connection.


11, 14, 17, 20



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



When the poop hits the fan, that's when real discipleship begins.


15-18