Someone else’s success doesn’t subtract from yours. Celebrating with them and encouraging them won’t make you the loser and them the winner. We’re all in this together.
12, 15
When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.
13, 16, 19
I’m going to start you in Mathnasium or some other STEM (math) activity. Not because I want u to score high on your SAT but because I want You to be confident in your math skills you will use it every day and it will come in handy no matter what you choose to do for a living
7
Keep in mind the human tendency (rightly or wrongly) to think “how it ends is how it was”. Could be a work shift, a class, a relationship, etc. try to end on a good note.
16, 21
“The more you sweat, the less you bleed.” True in boxing and in life. Put the work in. No shortcuts.
14, 18, 21
I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.
21
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
So you want to be a writer- then write. Anything. Play around with it. Journal. Fiction, non-fiction, biography, obits, blogs, plays, tv pilots, whatever. You will probably suck at it. Keep writing. Write more and more. You will get better, you’ll find your flow. This w
16, 21
Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.
17
No matter how successful you become you’re still expected to act with integrity and respect.
14, 18, 21
Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. Eventually though, doing the thing is easier than stressing over it or hiding from it.
10. 12, 15, 21
Check out Travel for Teens for summer travel programs. Let them choose from themes like service, adventure, animal rescue, etc.
14
Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.
17, 21
Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?
4-6
“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little b*^tch and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers
13, 21
Sometimes you have to disconnect the “doing” from the “feeling.” Not so much that you’re disconnected from your feelings but that you’re able to tell them to get in the backseat while you take the wheel. It’s a skill. Practice makes you better at it.
12, 16, 19, 21
If you want to know what girls like, read the books they’re reading, watch the shows they watch, etc. Porn is entertainment *not* education. Movies books and shows marketed to 12 year-old boys get it wrong most of the time, can’t learn anything from them. Chick flicks is where you’ll find a little instruction on how to flirt in a non-creepy way, how to kiss, how to be in a healthy relationship. Study the difference between the male gaze vs female gaze.
14
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
5-7, 1Infant-12
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
Choose to love despite the rage. See poem by Lucas Jones “ I Will Teach My Sons to be Dangerous Men.”
12, 14, 16, 19, 21