Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
Hold yourself to account when you screw up but give yourself some grace.
Instead of “I’m such a terrible person” ask yourself “”How can I make up for this? What can I learn from this? How can I do better next time?”
Start the tradition of First Sunday dinners. On the first Sunday of the month, have a "mini-holiday" dinner. Invite family, friends. Use the nice dishes, make a big meal. Celebrate family.
It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.
When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.
Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.
Favorite bible verse: Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have placed my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”
Get to know your body, push yourself in terms of strength and endurance. You're stronger than you think. You're growing stronger every day. Your body is amazing and healthy. Take care of it! Enjoy it! Use your amazing strength and energy to do good in the world.
Start saving for retirement with your very first paycheck. Put away the MAX, you’ll never miss it. If the company doesn’t offer 401k then we’ll open a Roth IRA.
Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.
Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.
Talk about how to be a good houseguest: Always bring something (food, wine, gift, etc) Make your bed, keep area clean. Enthusiastically accept your host’s hospitality but don’t make extra work for them. Contribute and pitch in where u can. Send a thank you note - or at very least, an email!
Put a few drops of tea tree oil in their shampoo bottle to keep lice at bay. If there’s a outbreak at school, add more. (Or spritz their hair with a tea tree oil solution.)
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
One of the most difficult things in life will be to embrace difficult and unfamiliar ways in order to grow or heal. But doing so is the only way we can grow or heal. You can do hard things. Breathe deep and take it by moment if you have to.
Get really clear about what you want so that you’ll be able to recognize it when it’s here. Get really clear on the kind of relationship you want so that you can realize when it’s not with the person you’re seeing.