I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!


17, 21



Appalachian Mountain Club


9-13



Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21



Keep in mind the human tendency (rightly or wrongly) to think “how it ends is how it was”. Could be a work shift, a class, a relationship, etc. try to end on a good note.


16, 21



Ask: What are you responsible for?


15-18



vaccinate! Science is good.


0, 1, 2, 3, 5



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



Start playing Jokers and Marbles. Get it on Amazon or Etsy.


9



Encourage creativity, science and engineering: Make a craft station / work bench for projects. Fill it with all kinds of art supplies, engineering kits, tools, pegboard, etc. Stock safety equipment like goggles and make sure the area has good lighting. Lots of ideas on Pinterest, etc.


8



Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.


8, 10, 14, 18, 21



Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.


15, 21



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.


1, 5, 10, 15, 20



Physical contact between two people is only fun / appropriate / legal / healthy if both people are into it. If one party objects, demurs or even acts less-than-interested, that’s the ballgame. Stop physical contact immediately. Be kind and respectful at all times.


15, 18



Read “Attack of the Black Rectangles” by Amy Sarid King.


12



Best take on parenting: “My kid is never gonna not feel safe with me.”


1, 5, 10, 15



Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.


16, 21



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.


17, 21



Read Prefontaine.


13



Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.


4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 21