Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Be appreciative of people’s time. Send thank you notes after interviewing and applying for jobs, scholarships, etc. even if you don’t get picked. It’s common courtesy and it’s a good way to make a good impression for next time.


18, 20



Get at least 2, preferably 3 estimates on any major expenses for home or car.


21



If baby / toddler is melting down, put them in the bathtub or bring them outside. A change in temperature will calm them.


Infant-4



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



Your very existence is a miracle. Countless cosmic events and generations of ancestors had to come together in precisely the right way at precisely the right time for you to be here now. It’s an honor to be who you are. Act accordingly.


13, 15, 18, 20, 21



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



Best take on parenting: “My kid is never gonna not feel safe with me.”


1, 5, 10, 15



Watch “The Sandlot” together. Great story about friendship and showing up for each other.


8



Approach difficult conversations looking to learn something, not to prove something.


16, 21



You can be angry. But you can’t drive while angry or talk to a child or work, or do anything dangerous when you’re angry.


15, 20



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.


19



I’d rather you be brave than perfect. Take chances. Fail, then pick yourself up and keep going.


18



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


11



1

I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



Zoom out! Perspective is your friend. At certain times in our lives we have the focus turned up so high that we don’t see beyond ourselves. (Adolescence is one of those times, totally natural.) Zoom out. You’ll feel better.


13, 15, 17, 21



Knowing something is right and application of it are two different things. To apply yourself takes discipline. Practice it.


15



“If we could see our prayers we would never stop praying.” - Bunmi Laditan, by way of her angel.


11, 17



Success = liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.


14, 17, 21



Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.


15, 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.


15, 21



There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.


18



Read “Attack of the Black Rectangles” by Amy Sarid King.


12



Practice your signature


13