Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.


12, 14, 16. 18, 21



Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



“First the pain. Then the waiting. Then the rising.” Glennon Doyle


16, 21



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



We can learn, we can evolve. Let yourself be moved by the spirit. More beauty, more service, more humanity, deeper (or questioned) faith, more love. Always more love. That’s the best I can hope for: that you live a life full of love.


21



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Some kids have trouble with learning how to managing their anger and other big feelings. We all do! It’s good to give them grace. But steer clear of those who think mean is cool. You don’t have time for anyone who actually tries to be an a-hole.


6, 9, 12, 16, 21



Help him practice having tense conversations without getting a tone of voice.


15



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.


15



Sex: There's no single way to do it "right" but there are lots of ways to do it wrong. Not being respectful and tender towards your partner is usually at the root of "wrong" ways to do it. Also, there is no rush. You may think all your friends are "doing it." They're not. Take your time.


16



Go to College results. Org to look at graduation rates. How likely is a rising freshman at that school to stick it out and graduate in 4 years? HUGE variation, it should factor in their decision.


16



End of August by Robert Frost is one of my favorite poems.


20



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.


15, 16



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.


18



When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.


13, 16, 19



Watch Parts Unknown together.


14-16



You can’t hit ‘em all outta the park. Some days (dates, reviews, vacations, report cards, etc.) are just going to fall flat. No worries, the next one will be better.


15, 19



Sailing lessons.


14



With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.


2, 13, 17



We’re all just so delicate. It’s just our nature. Treat others (and yourself) accordingly. Even/ especially the ones that seem to be tough as nails or sharp as wire. Try not to lose sight of that.


13, 16, 20



Buy “Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids” by Kristen Jenson


8



Success = liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.


14, 17, 21