Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Listen to books of love letters. I forget the title but one of the Bush twins wrote a book about her grandparents (George and Barbara). Stories about real love, real life. Fiction is great too but having a real world examples of happy partnerships is gold.


18



Sadness means you need love. (From another person, a pet, yourself.) Someone whose presence brings you comfort. May be dead, living, fictional, historical figure, religious (god, saints, Buddha, etc.) Live and in person is best though. Let someone love you how you need to be loved.


19, 21



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



1

“You will use up everything you got trying to give people what they want.” —- Nina Simone


17



Writing is re-writing


15, 18



Remind them they’re safe to feel whatever they’re feeling.


2, 12, 21



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



1

Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



Read books. Any kind. All kinds. It’s exercise for the brain and it feeds the soul. Start slow, that’s ok. As with many things, consistency beats speed.


6, 10, 13, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21



Men worry about getting laughed at or rejected by a woman. Women worry about getting killed when they reject a man. Let that sink in.


15, 21



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



Sometimes it just takes a while to catch on. I had to watch Game of thrones 3 or 4 times before I could keep track of all the characters and subplots. Record your lectures so you can replay them a few times.


13,15,19



Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.


14, 18, 21



Struggle is just part of the process. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or you’re dumb. It’s a key element of how we all learn.


11



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



1

“Never be sorry for not knowing


17, 21



Sweetheart you don’t have room in your life for people who don’t get you. Let your light shine…and f*@k anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.


14, 16, 18, 20



Focus on the lesson not the pain.


14, 21



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Build something beautiful.


13, 21



Celebration and acknowledgment: Make a big deal over little-big things and teach them the same: getting their braces off, or a cast on a broken bone, a friend gets a new car, etc. Always acknowledge the sad that someone is going through or the difficult situation. Applies to all ages.


12, 15, 19, 21



Cotillion and other social clubs abound in our area. They usually start around 5th or 6th grade. start looking into what might be a good fit. Lay the ground work that they will attend.


1Infant-12



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



Watch The Last Lecture before school starts on a pivotal year, like middle school, high school.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12



Processing an emotion means you’re not acting on it or avoiding it, you’re just with it. I like to picture it as a person and then imagine having a cup of coffee or a beer with it. Hope this helps you. xoxo


13, 16



Send thank you acknowledgemnt for gifts received


1-21



1

It’s very easy to wander into trouble- not usually easy to wander out of it.


12