Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.” People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.


9



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



Start saving for retirement with your very first paycheck. Put away the MAX, you’ll never miss it. If the company doesn’t offer 401k then we’ll open a Roth IRA.


18



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



Dress for the job you want, not the one you have. Unless you're a lifeguard. ;)


16, 21



Creepy is as creepy does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do. If you don’t want to be a creep then don’t f*cking act like one. People have a right to live their lives without being intruded upon. Don’t lurk, if you want to get to know someone tell them. Invite them to do something together or just hang out. If they’re not interested then drop it. You can ask again only if they have clearly signaled they changed their mind. (Which is more likely to happen if you respect their boundaries.)


13, 16, 19, 21



“There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings


7, 12



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.


17, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


14



I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.


14



When making decisions or setting goals etc, approach from the perspective of your truest self. That’s integrity.


14, 18, 21



Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


7-17



1

Discuss difference between foods that taste good vs. foods that make you FEEL good.


12-14



Practice “going without.” Talk about how nobody gets what they want all the time. We should learn how to just choose to go without something we want. Get them in on the discussion and pick something every day to do without.


5-9



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.


21



Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.


12, 15



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



Set up automatic payments so they are initiated on your end, so that you send out money to the bill/ company you’re paying instead of giving them access to take money out of your account.


20



Trying to avoid the real work makes the task 100 times harder. Do the work.


9, 15, 21



Have a charity lemonade stand. Pediatric cancer research, immigrant children, etc. Lots of problems...Let them be involved in part of the solution.


7-10



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



Ask smart questions. More importantly, ask stupid questions! So many people are afraid of looking stupid that they totally fake understanding. Even in the very highest levels of career and society. Ask basic questions if something doesn’t make sense. Start at a kindergarten level understanding of a concept then build on it.


15, 20



If you’re easily offended you are easily manipulated. So take a breath and turn off your ego.


14, 19, 21



When you feel like giving up, rest. But then keep going! So many good things ahead. So many people that are meant to be in your life who you haven’t met yet.


18



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



Wipe your kids’ tears when they’re sad. Smile with them when they are happy. Hold them close when they are scared. And let them see your tears, smiles, and fears too. This is how you teach them to be a human in this world.


6