When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.


9, 13, 19



Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”


3



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.


14, 17, 21



All behavior is communication.


2-6



Watch awards shows (Oscars, Grammy's, Tony's, ESPY's, Image Awards and CNN Heroes awards.) Be a part of your times, appreciate others' accomplishments. Be inspired.


8-18



Alcoholism and gambling addiction run in our family. Be very, very careful around booze and gambling.


14,16, 18, 21



My love for you will never run out - neither will God’s love / patience run out. I will always instruct, discipline and give consequences for bad behavior- because it’s my job to teach you. But there’s nothing you could do to lose my love. Remind them daily.


5-20



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



Checkout Bedtime Math app. It’s a tool to make math fun.


5



Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.


13, 15, 17, 21



Parent the way you want your children to behave. Compassion, patience. Loving.


1, 2, 3, 4



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Don’t go to sleep on a full stomach.


10, 15, 17, 19



Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.


16



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

When you’re in a disagreement with someone or feel you’ve been wronged, it’s helpful to remember who the other person is. Are they someone of integrity? (If they’re your friend I bet they are.) Remember then, that even though they may have done something to hurt you, they were likely believed their actions were doing (or at least trying to do) the right thing. People sometimes get it wrong. Or they don’t have all the facts. Or their mind is just somewhere else. The pain you may feel from a perceived slight is probably not intentional, but even if it is, try to forgive and let it go. We’re all just doing the best we can.


16, 21



We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”


5, 10, 20



Try not to say insulting or hurtful things, but NEVER write them. (Texts, notes, emails, etc.)


11



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Brambly Hedge series by Jill Barklem.


2-5



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.


1-4



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16