Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



When u drop someone off make sure they’re safely inside before you drive away.


15



Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.


12, 14, 16. 18, 21



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)


15, 18, 21



1

Listen to podcast “1912” about an incident of alarming racial injustice Forsyth County GA.


12



Play to win but play fair. Be a gracious winner. Someone has to lose. Sometimes it will be you. Don’t whine.


10



If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.


21



Put your purse, (wallet,bag, phone, or shoe) in the backseat with the baby. Unattended babies die every day and it’s my worst nightmare.


Infant-3, 21



You will never have to hustle for your self-worth. You are worthy of love and respect simply because you exist. Same goes for every other human.


16



I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



Remember that whoever you’re grieving would only want the best for you.


20



When they turn 18 they should have a will, a financial power of attorney and a medical PoA.


17,18



Grandpa used to describe injuries and medical procedures as “It’s a nothin.” I think of this every time I have to endure something painful.


14, 18



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



There will be many times in your life you feel powerless. What makes you feel powerful? For me, it's a good run, listening to good music with the volume on high. Prayer reminds me I'm connected to God, who is powerful beyond all measure.


14-17



“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” -Mr. Rogers


15



Never make someone feel bad for liking something. Not your kids, your friends or colleagues. Joy is a beautiful thing. Cherish it in yourself and in others.


8, 9, 12



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.


14, 17, 21



Practice being embarrassed. Tell embarrassing stories. Help them learn how to deal with the sensation.


9



Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.


16



Google earth app means there's always a globe at hand. Point out states, countries or oceans when we hear about them.


4-9



Whatever your first knee-jerk reaction is, it’s not always the right one. Sleep on it.


14, 17, 21



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



Be ready to learn from around you. Curiosity = adventure. And when you’re curious, there’s no room for judgment.


17



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Stop before you descend too far into the pain. Let yourself be loved. Rest. Eat. Shower. Breath. Sweat. Sing.


10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21