The Golden Rule is wrong.
At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting.
Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__
Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___
Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need.
___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )
A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.
Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.
Most brilliant TED talk I ever saw on living authentically. Step one: decide what you don’t give a f*ck about. Step two: don’t give a f*ck about those things. Always be kind and polite but never be sorry for not giving a $@!#% about stuff you don’t give a $@!#% about.
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
A simple blessing to silently pray over someone: “May he (she) be healthy, May he be safe. O Lord bless him with peace and joy.”
Pray for people you know, for strangers on the elevator, for teachers, world leaders, friends or foes, etc.
It’s one way to make the world a better place, and it turns your heart closer to God.
Always stand up to shake someone’s hand. (NEVER shake a person’s hand while sitting.)
Always get up out of your seat to greet a guest and walk them to the door when they leave.
Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!
Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.
Like Cindy Crawford said, "I eat anything I want … I just don't eat as much as I want." Be mindful of portions. No need to eliminate the junk food but keep it to a minimum.
If your partner doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s not a matter of convincing them. Even if you get them to walk down the aisle that’s not the problem. It’s not that they don’t want to get married, it’s that they don’t want to BE married to you. And that is not a problem that will go away even if you manage to “get” them to commit. Walk away or spend the rest of your life pulling them along. F that.
Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you.
... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.
Having an opinion is not the same thing as having an informed opinion.
If you don't know enough about a subject to speak intelligently about it, keep quiet and educate yourself.