What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.
13
Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?
9
Look into a class for meditation for kids. I read an article on a Baltimore elementary school that replaced detention with meditation and had amazing success.
6
Have a charity lemonade stand. Pediatric cancer research, immigrant children, etc. Lots of problems...Let them be involved in part of the solution.
7-10
Like me, you turn to food for comfort. That’s okay to a point, but it won’t help. That hole you’re trying to fill will just get deeper. So if you can’t or won’t stop eating for comfort please consider this suggestion: Do something creative first. Sing, write, paint, run, lift, act, improv, whatever. The hole will be so much more shallow when you go to try and fill it with food. Hopefully, eventually you’ll get to the point of staying in “creative mode” to feel better.
10, 12, 13, 16, 21
Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.
5
Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?
13, 17, 21
No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.
17
Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.
16
Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.
9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21
A useful opening line in a conversation (personal, parenting or professional) is “What should I know about ...”. It shows you understand you have something to learn, and it makes people feel valued. “What should I know about what’s going on at football practice?”
14
It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.
18, 21
My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.
18
Today is not the day to lose your sh*t. Deep breaths, cold water, do your hair. You’re gonna be just fine.
1-21
No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)
4
Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.
21
There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.
Infant
Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.
8, 10, 14, 18, 21
You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.
12, 14, 16, 17, 21
Relationships can end beautifully and bravely. They’re not all going to be forever. It’s much better to grieve the end of a relationship than to endure an unhealthy one.
15, 19, 21
Favorite bible verse: Psalm 143:8 “Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have placed my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.”
15
Ask “Is there anything you want to get off your chest?” Confession is good for the soul! Get in the habit of being a place of support when they screw up. Then when they’re older and REALLY screw up, they know they can trust you to help.
8
SAT Prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html
16