It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.
1Infant-14
Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)
14
You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.
15, 19, 21
To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.
14, 18
Tube first 2 or 3 years of your life I would sing to you after bath time as I was getting you in your jammies. Two songs: Oh Shenandoah and Danny Boy. Rubbing your tiny little feet with baby lotion while singing to you is one of the happiest memories of my life.
21
Sometimes you have to put aside how you feel about a person and objectively look at how their actions show how they feel about *you.*
16
You can’t hit ‘em all outta the park. Some days (dates, reviews, vacations, report cards, etc.) are just going to fall flat. No worries, the next one will be better.
15, 19
Toddler years: Tater tots make everything better. The smaller ones cook faster and you don't have to turn them.
2
Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.
17
If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.
14, 19, 21
Get up early on a Saturday and go downtown. See how fun it is to be up before the rest of the world.
7-9
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you see with your own eyes isn’t happening.” -English teacher Read Diary of Anne Frank together.
12
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
When you meet people in an intimidating situation, like a job interview, etc. An easy trick is to imagine them as they were in kindergarten. (Don't talk to them like they'r 5 year-olds! But relate to them on a human level. We're all human - filled with talents and fears and insecurities. No matter how "important" or "unimportant" our station is.
16-21
Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.
1,2
Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?
15, 21
Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.
2,3,4
Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!
15, 19, 21
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17
When making decisions or setting goals etc, approach from the perspective of your truest self. That’s integrity.
14, 18, 21
I hope you don’t have to struggle with your weight. For me it’s been a lifelong battle. Some things I learned are: Listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry. Eat as many vegetables as possible. Ignore the scale and focus on other goals, ones that are in your control such as how long you can run (or dance, or row, etc.) Reading a book instead of plopping down in front of the tv with a bowl of ice cream, saying “no thanks” to a treat. Focusing on pounds lost or gained is deflating. Stay in good shape for as long as you can! Make your health a priority. It’s much harder to get in shape than to stay in shape.
21