When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


9-11



Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.


14, 18, 21



Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.


13



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



Keep porn to a minimum. Never at school or work. It's normal to be curious but it's really not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is a business. It's designed to get you off, not to be realistic or educational. That's not the way sex looks or how you're expected to behave. Try O.school instead.


15



Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.


17, 21



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



Plan a trip to Disney this year.


6



You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.


21



Don’t waste big money on little things. Be intentional about what you spend.


16, 21



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Pour energy into what’s right with you and see what happens.


20, 21



In professional setting: Limit one exclamation point per email, if any. Definitely no emoticons.


19



Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.


12,18, 21



“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw...... As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.


16



If you want people to believe you, trust you and be able to depend on you, then you must have integrity. Integrity means that you tell the truth, don’t deceive or cheat, you keep your word and you pitch in to help with little things and big things without having to be asked. Who are the people you know who have integrity? Do you want to be a man of integrity?


13, 17



People will speak or act in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Stay calm and kind.


14-21



Don’t confuse a broken dream for a broken future. Or a broken heart for a broken life.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Letting go isn’t something active. Rather, it’s something you stop doing. Stop hoping. Stop fooling yourself. Stop wishing things were different.


17, 21



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



In the words of Bear Grylls... '”Survival can be summed up in three words - never give up. That's the heart of it really. Just keep trying.”


14, 17, 21



The most attractive man in the world is one who brings peace.


21



If you’re going to be wrong about someone, let it be because you believed the best of them. (Give people the benefit of the doubt.) put it this way— I’d rather be wrong about my husband being a moral person who would never cheat, then come to find out he had done, than I would like to be wrong about him being a horrible person only to find out later he was faithful all along.


20, 21



I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



Checkout Bedtime Math app. It’s a tool to make math fun.


5