Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21



Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!


14, 19



Read at least one biography every semester. between winners and losers read about the failures read about the great men and women read about historical figures American icon stage and film to battlefields to business read all about how great men and women made themselves great and learn from them here are a few to start Ted Kennedy he gets north star am Kristin Chenoweth Tina Fey I’m reading one now on call baker from the Bush administration Barack Obama Jimmy Carter Ronald Reagan Kennedy Roosevelt all those guys as well as Michelle Obama Jackie Kennedy all of those. Draft


19



Imagine your mind as a really cool nightclub, and you get to be the bouncer out in front. There's a VIP line, and then there's a regular line just everyday people, good, bad, otherwise. The VIPs are feelings. Every single feeling is allowed in, should they choose to come in. We just ask their name, and we treat them with kindness. If they want to talk, we talk. If they don't want to talk, we don't make them talk. We greet them, and we're ready to listen to them. Now, with the other line, the crowd that is everybody, good, bad, and otherwise— that is the line of thoughts that are trying to get into our mind. And some of those, you can take one look at and just say, keep moving, bud. Nope. Some, you're like, oh yeah, you, automatically, you know, just gorgeous, go in, go in. Yes, absolutely. Keep going. Some you have to talk to. Some you have to wait. Some you can kick to the curb immediately. Not all thoughts are welcome just because they're there. All feelings are welcome. All thoughts are not. You are the bouncer.


10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21.



Watch The Last Lecture before school starts on a pivotal year, like middle school, high school.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



General rule for health and happiness: avoid excess.


10, 14, 17, 21



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Ask him for Christmas present: recite Andy Weir’s “The Egg.” Bonus points for memorization! Also great idea for audition tape. )I’m assuming you’ll be in theater!) xoxo


15



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



Read everything Brene Brown ever wrote.


20



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18



Find one or two scary documentaries on the dangers of gambling. Watch together. Betting on sports is a big thing in some schools and I want to scare the $@!#% out of him about how bad gambling can screw up his life. Check online tools from gamblers anonymous.


15



Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



Sometimes, no matter how great a thing is it can’t make up for what it’s not.


14, 19, 21



Let decency be like a religion to you. Practice it …but don’t preach it.


14



Girls: does he put in the effort even when it’s inconvenient or uncomfortable for him?


16, 20, 21



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



Soap and water go a long way towards fixing many problems.


12, 19



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



“I don’t give a rat’s $@!#% how much respect u garner out in the world if you don’t show respect and love and serve those you love at home.” ____loosely quoted from Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed.’


14, 19



“Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.”


10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 21



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



When driving in the car with your kids, ask them to count motorcycles, cyclists, pedestrians. Prize to the highest count! This will train them to be on the lookout for them.


10



Book “Rainbow Relatives” is a great resource to be able to kindly, accurately and sensitively answer their questions about LGBTQ families.


6



Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.


12, 15



“There is no such thing as a “bad kid” - just angry, hurt, tired, scared, confused, impulsive ones expressing their feelings


7, 12



Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



I wish I had heard this in my 20’s. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRtFBvGr/


20