“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)
21
We feel best when we create. No amount of food, video games or any self-destructive habits will fill that hole. So why fight it?!? Create something, even if it’s as small as a little sketch or poem. Grow a garden, bake a cake. Start a business! Whatever your beautiful heart desires.
12, 15, 18, 21
Okay algebra and geometry but other than that, spend time practicing addition and subtraction, multiplication and division. That’s 99% of the math you’ll need to know if you’re not going to be an engineer, etc.
10, 14, 15, 18, 21
Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.
4-9
If you don’t have the words, borrow them. Send a song or a poem. As long as the sentiment is yours, the vowels and consonants don’t need to be.
13, 16. 21
Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.
11, 12, 13
Protect women from gross men: First, don’t be gross. Second, resist the urge to go along with the pack when they get gross. Third, and this is going to take courage, tell them to knock that sh*t off. Never make a girl feel uncomfortable to get a laugh. It’s not funny, it’s scary and demeaning and will teach her you can’t be trusted.
10, 14, 17, 21
Sometimes procrastination is part of the process. Eventually though, doing the thing is easier than stressing over it or hiding from it.
10. 12, 15, 21
Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.
12
The kindest person in the room may not necessarily be the smartest. But the cruelest person is always the dumbest.
10, 15, 21
Make an album Or Shutterfly book about Mom and Dad’s wedding and marriage. Stress themes of love, kindness, sacrifice, shared values and putting the other first. Talk about managing conflict in a loving relationship doesn’t mean never fighting but it does mean fighting fair. Make it an annual tradition to read through it and talk about marriage on their anniversary. (The next best thing to modeling a happy marriage.
9
Grandpa was a Marine, though you’d never know it. Slight in build and oh-so gentle natured. But underneath he had a good bit of grit. He never complained. He once told me “You can stand any amount of pain for a little while.” (Basically saying suck it up and hang in there until help arrives.) I’ve never forgotten it.
18
Knowing the “right choice” to make isn’t always easy. Sometimes you have to decide then go for it. Make a choice, then make it right.
17, 21
No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.
17
There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.
18
You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)
10
When driving in the car with your kids, ask them to count motorcycles, cyclists, pedestrians. Prize to the highest count! This will train them to be on the lookout for them.
10
Eat with purpose, not for it. Sometimes the purpose is fuel, sometimes celebration. Eat accordingly!
19, 21