Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.
19, 21
Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)
19
Painful or unpleasant emotions can’t grow if you stay in the present. (Easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing.)
10, 13, 16, 21
There is so much available to you. This is good and bad. I hope you choose knowledge, beauty, laughter, etc. Guard against getting caught in a loop of destructive $@!#%: hate, drugs, gambling, porn, etc. The world is full of beauty and it’s full of gross sh*t. I hope you choose a life that seeks out beauty.
16
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.
6-16
Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)
15, 18, 21
Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.
4-9
Toddler years: Tater tots make everything better. The smaller ones cook faster and you don't have to turn them.
2
I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo
14
Cotillion and other social clubs abound in our area. They usually start around 5th or 6th grade. start looking into what might be a good fit. Lay the ground work that they will attend.
1Infant-12
Whether it’s a kid at school or a politician on tv, beware of someone who tries to blame the world’s problems on a minority or some other group of people who are different. It’s a cheap tactic to get people riled up and afraid.
13
Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”
Infant
You have yet to meet so many parts of yourself. All kinds of different people, places and experiences will draw those parts out of you.
15, 18, 21
Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.
18
Do something that feeds your soul every day. Experience or create joy, even if just a small spark of it.
17
Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.
6-11
The Golden Rule is wrong. At least when it comes to relationships and especially when it comes to parenting. Instead of treating someone how you’d want to be treated, treat them how THEY’D want to be treated.__ Learn what THEY need to feel safe and loved, how THEY express big feelings like fear, anxiety, anger and frustration.___ Instead of assuming the friend/partner/child /coworker wants to be treated how you’d want to be, take the time to learn about them. Then when someone you love is in distress you can respond to them in the way they need. ___(Lesson learned from reading The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Great book. A little preachy but push past that. )
1, 13, 19
Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.
4-11
Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.
7