Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”
2
Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.
4
Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.
7
That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.
19
“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little $@!#% and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers
15, 21
They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.
12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17
Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.” People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.
9
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
5-7
Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.
15, 16
Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)
16
“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.
17, 21
Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.
14
“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw...... As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.
16
You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.
10, 13, 16, 21
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20
Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.
12-16
Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.
1, 5, 10, 15, 20
Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.
7
Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.
7-18
Walking at night during the wintertime remember to wear a bright scarf or something reflective. So many pedestrians get hit when it’s dark outside because they’re wearing dark colors and drivers can’t see them.
15, 20
My worst fear is that I will be unable to reach you when you’re in pain. All I want as a parent, what my whole job boils down to, is to be there when you need me. How can I help you?
13
Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.
18, 21
Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”
11, 16, 19, 21
“When little people get overwhelmed by big feelings it’s our job to share our calm, not join their chaos.” L.R. Knost
1, 2, 3, 4, 10