Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.
18
Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.
12
In 2024 there’s a medical test to screen for cancer that involves collecting one’s poo and sending it off to the lab. They just called me to tell me they canceled my test due to a clerical error on the order. I was so mad. The thought of doing that poo test again was freaking me out. Why didn’t the flunky who handles the specimens call before they pitched it? Then it dawned on me: it’s someone’s *job* to process poo specimens. Probably hundreds a day. It’s okay they didn’t stop to call and straighten out my test.perspective!!
17, 21
The next world is perfect and permanent. This world is neither, so save yourself the stress of trying to make things perfect (house, job, body, relationships, bank account, etc.) Embrace the impermanence by cherishing the good times. Know that the bad times won’t last. Remember that you are loved very much, and that God will shower you with the grace you need to handle whatever this imperfect life throws at you.
21
When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.
15, 17, 18, 19, 21
You can’t selectively numb feelings. The inclination to drink, use, shop, gamble, etc. is real but it’s a lie that it will make you feel better. Numbing makes this much, much worse. So feel! The good, the bad, the scary. Talk about your feelings, write about them or create something from your feelings. This is how to process in a healthy way.
16, 20
Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.
12,18, 21
Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply
21
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy
15
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
11-13
Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!
5-15, 18, 21
Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!
6, 7, 13-15
Give baby a banana before bed and they’ll sleep through the night. (Obviously once they’re on solid food.)
1
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17