Start saving for retirement with your very first paycheck. Put away the MAX, you’ll never miss it. If the company doesn’t offer 401k then we’ll open a Roth IRA.


18



Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.


19



Put your purse, (wallet,bag, phone, or shoe) in the backseat with the baby. Unattended babies die every day and it’s my worst nightmare.


Infant-3, 21



Check your ego and question your motives. Are you in it for the right reasons or because of how it would look if you weren’t? Do you feel like you need to be a hero or the smartest one in the room? If the answer is yes I would strongly recommend that you get right with yourself.


13, 16, 19, 21



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7



If you ever borrow someone’s car, return it with a full tank of gas.


20



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.


8-15



Every “yes” to something is a “no” to something else. Take your time processing the choices - write in your journal, sweat it out, listen to music, talk to someone you trust, read books from experts. Once you’re clear about what you’re giving up, let it go and don’t look back. (Remember there’s no advice that’s right more than 99% of the time. Always trust your gut. Just remember an impulse isn’t the same thing as a gut check.)


15, 16, 19, 21



Consensual sex requires no persuasion, convincing or begging.


14, 17



You can forgive someone without speaking to them. Or you can move on without forgiving. Closure isn’t necessary to moving on. The only thing necessary is to move. Move your body, change your perspective, go on a trip, go to a new coffee shop, just move.


16, 19, 21



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.


14, 17, 21



Don’t give up on your dreams, but remember there will be plenty of times when you have to tweak them a bit…or a lot. I think of all the couples who were slated to get married in 2020. They either postponed or scrapped the big wedding for a backyard ceremony and bbq. How many brides had to *massively* shift heir vision and let go of what they assumed their wedding would look like. This happened to my friend and she cried and cried, of course. It was a big disappointment. But then she and her fiancé had the most charming backyard ceremony. It was small but so romantic.Now she says she wouldn’t change a thing about her wedding. I’ve got a silly example from my own dreams. I had long hoped to spend my 50th birthday on Maui with friends and family all staying at the Four Seasons. Fifty happened during Covid so I moved my dream celebration to sixty. And then come to find out tourism isn’t considered a good thing by locals in Hawaii, so will choose a different destination where tourism is encouraged and sustainable. I’m still dreaming my dream, even it looks different than I thought it would. All this to say, don’t lose heart when stuff happens and your plans are upended. Be honest about your disappointment about what’s been lost, but then be open to opportunities this new turn of events brings with it. There are always blessings hidden among heartbreak.


13, 17, 21



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Sometimes you’ll be in the wrong side of history. When you discover you’re wrong, move to the right side of history. When I first started training as a nurse it was the early 1990’s. HIV/$@!#% was pretty new. I remember telling my fellow student I would double glove and take any “over the top” precautions I wanted to. That was my fear and ignorance talking. Amazing how cozy self-righteousness makes you feel. I was wrong. Always look at the issue through the lens of humanity.


16, 21



Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!


6, 7, 13-15



Do the work. No short-cuts.


14



Give book "50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know" by Kay West.


14



The bull-sh*t never ends. Dealing with the bull-sh*t IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-bullsh*t stage in your life, you’re wrong.


12, 15, 19, 21



Ask smart questions. More importantly, ask stupid questions! So many people are afraid of looking stupid that they totally fake understanding. Even in the very highest levels of career and society. Ask basic questions if something doesn’t make sense. Start at a kindergarten level understanding of a concept then build on it.


15, 20



My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I


11, 13, 15, 17, 21



Highly recommend book about math and multiplication techniques:“The Best of Times” by Greg Tang.


10



Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.


12, 13, 14, 15



Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)


7



Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)


14-21