You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



It’s okay to take a beat, a pause before you answer: “Hold on, let me think about how this is going to work...” I’ve seen a lot of mistakes or loss of confidence in an employee because they just blurted out a guess or starting off in the wrong direction only to have to go back- just because the plan hadn’t been thought through. It only takes a minute.


15, 18, 20



Check your ego and question your motives. Are you in it for the right reasons or because of how it would look if you weren’t? Do you feel like you need to be a hero or the smartest one in the room? If the answer is yes I would strongly recommend that you get right with yourself.


13, 16, 19, 21



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Apollo 13 and The Martian Great movies about space, science, engineering, etc. Watch together.


12



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Pretty much everything boils down to looking for love, its many forms. Look in good (creative) places. Avoid looking for love in bad (destructive) places.


15, 17, 19, 21



People are insecure. Be mindful of fragile egos (we all have them to a degree.) Avoid implying that people aren't doing a good job.


20



Sometimes you don’t know what to do, can’t figure out what’s the right direction for you. That’s okay. Try thinking about what you *don’t* want to do. (See John Cusack career plans speech in 1989 movie “Say Anything.”


11, 16, 19, 21



Inevitably you will make mistakes in your career. Someone will dress you down for it. It stings. But they are doing you a favor. Thank them for it. We all have to learn, and we can’t do that if our pride gets in the way. Be humble and accept constructive criticism.


16, 21



Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.


20



Beautiful girls don’t exist for your pleasure. They’re not there for you. They, like you, exist to find out what it is to be alive in their body in this lifetime and to learn what makes them feel most like themself. They’re here, like you, to grow into themselves, to enjoying being alive, to marvel in creation with all its beauty and tragedy, injustices, banality and thrills. No one, friend or foe is an object for your experience


14, 16, 19, 21



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Talk about “don’t judge a book by its cover.” People come in all shapes, sizes, appearances. “Clean cut” is an outdated and misleading notion. Be open to who people are on the inside, they’re pretty amazing if you give the a chance.


9



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



“A recipe for being mistaken: 1. Dislike someone who's often right. 2. Never agree with someone you dislike.” ——- Paul Graham


16



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.


17, 21



Make "place value cups" as a rainy day activity and way to teach big numbers. (google, youtube or pinterest)


6-7



All behavior is communication.


2-6



Floss!!! All kinds of health benefits including decreased risk for heart disease and diabetes. Plus you get to keep your teeth. It's a no-brainer.


14, 18, 21



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.


14, 19, 21



Choosing to take the easy way out will create a life that’s difficult, disappointing and dull. Don’t shy away from hard work. Mind, body, spirit, relationships, community engagement, serving others - all of these things require a ton of effort on your part. But the more you choose to invest your time and energy into what is important to you, the more your life will take shape. Take the easy way out and you’ll see things start to disintegrate. Hard work makes you who you are.


13, 16, 21



I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.


2