The thing about behavior is that if you practice you get better. That goes for good behavior and bad behavior. The more you lie, cheat, etc. the better u get. Decide What kind of behavior you want to be good at and then practice practice
Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.
Meditation isn’t about a quiet mind, it’s about training a distracted mind to remain in the present. Focus on your breathing for one minute (set a timer.) Every time your thoughts wonder, gently bring your focus back to your breath. You may have to do this 10, 20, 30 or more times during those 60 seconds…but eventually you’ll get better. When you do, increase to two minutes, then five, all the way up to 30 minutes or even an hour.
You don’t have to keep it together. Let the tears come. Feel the loss. The big feelings never last long, they are a storm you can weather. Then the sky is brighter afterwards. Grief is medicine when expressed, poison when suppressed.
Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.
It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)
Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.
Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.
What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.
“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott
Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.
Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.
You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.