Getting dumped from a bad relationship or fired from a job that’s killing you is kind of like pooping your pants: Horrifying...but also a little bit of relief. Keep your perspective and you’ll be fine. xoxo.
20
I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.
13, 15, 21
To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.
16, 21
“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.
18
Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
12, 16, 19, 21
“I don’t give a rat’s $@!#% how much respect u garner out in the world if you don’t show respect and love and serve those you love at home.” ____loosely quoted from Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed.’
14, 19
Today is not the day to lose your sh*t. Deep breaths, cold water, do your hair. You’re gonna be just fine.
1-21
Get to know your body, push yourself in terms of strength and endurance. You're stronger than you think. You're growing stronger every day. Your body is amazing and healthy. Take care of it! Enjoy it! Use your amazing strength and energy to do good in the world.
12-16
Two rules: First, don’t be a sh!tty person. 2. Try to have some fun. Everything else is just “whatever.”
13, 21
You can’t grow in faith (or character or friendships) without learning to be humble. To forgive. To listen without agenda. To allow for the possibility you may be in the wrong. Ask for help. God will give it.
16
Ask smart questions. More importantly, ask stupid questions! So many people are afraid of looking stupid that they totally fake understanding. Even in the very highest levels of career and society. Ask basic questions if something doesn’t make sense. Start at a kindergarten level understanding of a concept then build on it.
15, 20
Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.
11-15
Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.
17
We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”
5, 10, 20
I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.
2, 3, 4
Don’t give up on your dreams, but remember there will be plenty of times when you have to tweak them a bit…or a lot. I think of all the couples who were slated to get married in 2020. They either postponed or scrapped the big wedding for a backyard ceremony and bbq. How many brides had to *massively* shift heir vision and let go of what they assumed their wedding would look like. This happened to my friend and she cried and cried, of course. It was a big disappointment. But then she and her fiancé had the most charming backyard ceremony. It was small but so romantic.Now she says she wouldn’t change a thing about her wedding. I’ve got a silly example from my own dreams. I had long hoped to spend my 50th birthday on Maui with friends and family all staying at the Four Seasons. Fifty happened during Covid so I moved my dream celebration to sixty. And then come to find out tourism isn’t considered a good thing by locals in Hawaii, so will choose a different destination where tourism is encouraged and sustainable. I’m still dreaming my dream, even it looks different than I thought it would. All this to say, don’t lose heart when stuff happens and your plans are upended. Be honest about your disappointment about what’s been lost, but then be open to opportunities this new turn of events brings with it. There are always blessings hidden among heartbreak.
13, 17, 21