Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity. Re-read every few years!


17



Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)


11



Biographies: Be inspired.


12



It’s not a project, it’s a practice. (Health, fitness, keeping up with current events, prayer or meditation, housework, reading, etc.)


16



Read maps.


9-14



I hope you find a partner with who are your most authentic self, and who you love for who they genuinely are.


15, 21



Be intentional. You don’t get to choose what they remember.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10



Don’t let some dumb-sh*t’s overconfidence get you killed.


11, 14, 17, 19, 21



Geocaching


5-11



“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.” From short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir


1Infant-21



Walking at night during the wintertime remember to wear a bright scarf or something reflective. So many pedestrians get hit when it’s dark outside because they’re wearing dark colors and drivers can’t see them.


15, 20



“Pain that is not transformed is transmitted.” Fr. Richard Rohr


14



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



Watch the western “1883”.


13



Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.


21



Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)


12, 15, 18, 20



If car breaks down, if at all possible, avoid pulling over on the highway. Get off the highway and pull to safety.


16



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)


0, 20



Great career advice from tv producer Tara Schuster: Be the best at the worst job. You’re a lowly intern, you’re not gonna get asked to sit down with the boss and strategize. But say the boss likes coffee, and the office coffee machine is unreliable. Fix the machine. Keep it in tip-top condition. Make a contribution to the company in small ways, consistent with your level of ability (which at this age is low low low. NO ONE likes a 20-something who thinks he/ she knows it all. Or knows anything really.) Listen, learn, anticipate needs and surpass expectations doing the little things. Be polite, kind, ethical. Be on time (early.) Yes, compete but also help others look good and succeed. NEVER never trash-talk a colleague, client, boss or subordinate. Don’t suck-up either. Mostly just listen, work, make yourself useful wherever you can. And have fun. You’re gonna do great, bunny.


18, 20



My favorite actor was Robin Williams.


19



Connect with people however you can, in whatever way feels natural to you: Talk, listen, perform, compete, create, laugh, pray, explore, share your truth, acknowledge the divine in yourself and in everyone you meet.


16, 21



Remember when you’re faced with bullies, jerks and people who say bad things , follow advice from the Obama's: "When they go low we go high."


1Infant-14



Once a relationship goes from loving someone as they are to trying to change them into something you want them to be, it’s doomed. We can challenge, inspire and educate those we love, but in the end we have to accept them as they are and embrace them warts and all. (They’re doing the same for us.)


18



Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)


4