“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.” From short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir
1Infant-21
It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.
12, 15, 18, 21
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20
“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.
20
You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.
1, 10, 15
In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.
15, 21
Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.
18, 21
Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”
13
Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.
11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
11-14
Keep in mind the human tendency (rightly or wrongly) to think “how it ends is how it was”. Could be a work shift, a class, a relationship, etc. try to end on a good note.
16, 21
“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.
18
With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.
2, 13, 17
You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.
14, 17, 21
Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling. If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.
13, 20
Just let a sweet moment be. There’s a time for jokes or small talk, but sometimes silence is best.
15,21
Painful or unpleasant emotions can’t grow if you stay in the present. (Easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing.)
10, 13, 16, 21
If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!
15, 17, 21
Alcoholism and gambling addiction run in our family. Be very, very careful around booze and gambling.
14,16, 18, 21
Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.
16, 18, 21
Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.
13. 17, 19, 21