Sometimes big stuff happens. Big good, big bad, big change. It will take some time to adjust. Maybe a month, a season, a semester or maybe a year or longer. Gear up. Psych yourself up for a difficult day/month/year. You can do this. Stay present, don’t get ahead of yourself or get bogged down in what’s done. “What if?” and “if-only’s” are not your friends. Be good to yourself and be good to others. Rest, nourish, create, have fun and keep the faith.
15, 21
Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain
18, 21
Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.
6, 8, 12, 18
Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.
14, 18, 21
Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.
9-15
Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.
12, 16, 20
Do what makes you happy. But what if you’re not sure what that might be? If you’re at a crossroads and you don’t know where you *want* to go, just go where you’re *needed.* That’s a good first step. Trust the Lord to take it from there.
18
White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.
14
If you’re ever in a situation where you’re worried you might need people to believe you in the future, take contemporaneous notes. Write or record what happened, how you responded. Focus on the facts but don’t ignore your thoughts or feelings, include them in your notes. Date and sign it. Keep it safe.
14, 17, 19, 21
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
Just love them. With all your might, them for who they are, and where they are. Forget about the other stuff.
15
When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.
15
Read (or listen to) The Greatest Generation by Tom Brokaw together as a family. It's broken up into small vignettes so it's easy to get through bit by bit.
15
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Try using “No doesn’t tell me your needs” when toddler / little kid disobeys. “Were you trying to be funny? Do you need a minute?”
3
When you’re getting serious in a relationship here’s something to consider- To what extent is your partner is willing to put others’ needs before their own?
21
Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.
18
Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.
7
If baby / toddler is melting down, put them in the bathtub or bring them outside. A change in temperature will calm them.
Infant-4
Have them sort change, and eventually to count it. It teaches them to gather things that are alike, it's an introduction to money and it occupies them for 15 minutes! Just make sure they're old enough to be past the point of putting coins in their mouth.
3-5
Purchase the card game CBT 123 on Amazon. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy teaches kids the connection between Thoughts/ feelings/ behavior)
7
If they’re not doing anything dangerous, illegal or immoral, let them be. Give them space and independence. (Just first define dangerous/ illegal/ immoral. Then remind them that you are here and would love to hear about anything they want to share.)
14