People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.


4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



On a job interview, mention a high-level educational goal such as MBA or law school. Their estimation of you will go up without them even realizing it. Your offer will be higher. Also follow, up with a brief but we’ll-written (professional) thank you note/email whatever.


17, 19, 21



You can be angry. But you can’t drive while angry or talk to a child or work, or do anything dangerous when you’re angry.


15, 20



Always wear an undershirt with a dress shirt.


15



Two rules: First, don’t be a sh!tty person. 2. Try to have some fun. Everything else is just “whatever.”


13, 21



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Name a few male celebrities you would feel safe with alone in a room. Keanu Reeves, Jack Black, Barack Obama, to start us off.


11, 13, 15



Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



We’re born full of love. Life is about choosing where you want to put it. -xo


15, 19, 21



Your body will go through all sorts of shapes and sizes. You’ll have times when you’re gorgeous and times when you’re awkward or frumpy. Whether you’re having a great hair day or sporting a face full of angry pimples, your looks have never and will never define your worth. (And nobody else will ever be defined by theirs.)


13, 15, 21



Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.


12, 18



Notre Dame Lullabies by the O’Neil Brothers is my favorite album ever. I used to play it at your bedtime when u were a baby and even sometimes when you were a kid. It reminds me of the happiest time of my life, when you came into it. Play it for me when I’m old and gray, okay?


21



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



I’m going to keep from telling them how to feel.


4-18



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.


4, 7, 12, 15, 18, 21



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)


10, 13, 16, 19, 21



Go to Montgomery County Fair


5-14



Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.


15, 18, 21



Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.


19



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13