Let's talk about what armor you choose. People use all kinds of props and attitudes to try to protect or soothe themselves. Often it's that armor that ends up being much worse than the scary problems they were trying to avoid in the first place. Developing a healthy set of armor is crucial. Let's talk about some healthy ways to make ourselves feel better. Reference Brene Brown wholeheartedness.
12-16
You’ll start dating soon. Have fun! Good luck. Prepare yourself for broken hearts. They come with the territory. (Worth it.) Talk about healthy ways to manage breakups and fear of breaking up.
13
Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.
8
Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.
16
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
Keep a pair of nail clippers in the car - much better lighting outside. Clipping tiny fingernails is terrifying!
Infant-1
Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)
15
Play to win but play fair. Be a gracious winner. Someone has to lose. Sometimes it will be you. Don’t whine.
10
Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.
19, 21
Drunken shenanigans are part of life when you’re in college, etc. but it gets old fast. That kind of behavior as an adult is just sad. Drink responsibly. Don’t make an $@!#% out of yourself. I recommend this rule: Don’t have more than one drink at a work function.
21
Difficult conversations are…difficult. If you have to deliver bad news, don’t beat around the bush but prepare them for what’s coming rather than just blurting it out. “I have some news that’s going to be difficult to hear…” Or “Is this a good time to talk?” Those are just a couple examples, but many more are available. Look it up or ask people who routinely have to give bad news.
20
It’s possible (even common) to feel conflicting emotions simultaneously. You can be glad you’re not with a girl and still be jealous if she finds a new love. You can be glad you’ve moved on and still miss what once was. You can be sad that something happened and grateful for something that came of it. Humans are complex. Two or more conflicting thoughts can exist in our heads at once. It’s not a betrayal or a character flaw.
17
I forget who said it but I love it: “I don’t know what I think until I write it down.” Paper and pen. Write. Keep it or burn it whatever you like. Journal or make a list or bullet points or narrative…whatever. Just write.
15, 21
Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.
16
Slow down and normalize making out without it leading to anything more. Physical intimacy can mean lots of things that aren’t sex: kissing should feel safe, personal and playful. ALWAYS be respectful and never assume that just because your sweetie is into it that they want to go farther. If your goal is to “score” do it by yourself.
15, 21
Sometimes you just have to let go. Let go of a relationship, or a dream, or plans. Let go of a person, a pet, or an object. It's hard. It takes a lot of trust. Trust the Lord will heal the wound, no matter how deep. His goodness is infinite.
16
You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.
21
Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.
7
I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.
2
Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.
14, 15, 16, 17