Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.
14, 17, 21
Consider the source. When you get information, look at where or who it’s coming from. Do you trust them? Are they an expert? When someone criticizes you. Do they know why they’re talking about and are they taking chances themselves. Pay no attention to hecklers.
15
Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.
17
My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I
11, 13, 15, 17, 21
Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.
15, 20
Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.
7-18
Struggle is just part of the process. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong or you’re dumb. It’s a key element of how we all learn.
11
Let go of things that aren’t good for you. Anger, fear, prejudice, obsession, grudges, snark, etc.
16, 21
They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)
3
A red brow line is an early sleepiness cue. If you notice the skin around baby’s eyebrows seems red, they’re ready for a nap.
Infant-1
Wipe your kids’ tears when they’re sad. Smile with them when they are happy. Hold them close when they are scared. And let them see your tears, smiles, and fears too. This is how you teach them to be a human in this world.
6
Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
8
Life isn’t a straight line, it’s so much more complex than that! Good things, bad things, boring or interesting things are all always happening. And always changing. So are you. And that’s good.
17, 21
Just love them. With all your might, them for who they are, and where they are. Forget about the other stuff.
15
Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.
15
Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.
15, 21
Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.
17
First date going extremely well? Thinking u might score? Slow down. A woman always wants to feel like she’s worth waiting for.
20
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
11-14