White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



There IS such a thing as coming on too strong. Err on the side of leaving them wanting more.


15, 18, 21



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



All behavior is communication.


2-6



You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!


13



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.


14-20



Check out Harmonia School on Mill St Music Art Theatre


6



You don’t have to choose to be single forever to enjoy being single for now.


17, 21



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Journal! I forget who said it but it’s so true: we don’t know how we think until we see what we say. Talking into a voice memo app or writing in a journal will help you process and grow.


13, 15, 19, 21



Model good nutrition and fitness routine.


4



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



Blessing for the Brokenhearted: Poem by Jan Richardson ___________ "There is no remedy for love but to love more." – Henry David Thoreau ________________________ ________________________ Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. __________Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound, when every day our waking opens it anew. ___________Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this— as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart’s sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom but will save us nonetheless.


20



Start “home economics” school with them. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, how to change a diaper, comfort a baby, soothe a toddler, what's involved in caring for pets, budgeting for food, keeping track of maintenance schedules for humans, pets, cars and machines. Engage with guests, be a good host, etc. Know when and how to tell someone to GTFO of the house (racist or misogynistic speech, etc.) Every kid needs to learn the art and science of home management. Look for and point out examples in books and movies of good home science skills.


5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21



Caps Game this year.


11



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



Read “Spare” by Prince Harry.


20



Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.


14



Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.


8



Partnership or pride…pick one.


21



Read up on the adolescent brain.


11, 13



Read JAMA article by Brooke Peterson Gabster.


18



Remember: “C’s get degrees.” Don’t tie yourself in knots over grades.


17, 18



Physical contact between two people is only fun / appropriate / legal / healthy if both people are into it. If one party objects, demurs or even acts less-than-interested, that’s the ballgame. Stop physical contact immediately. Be kind and respectful at all times.


15, 18



Read “Attack of the Black Rectangles” by Amy Sarid King.


12



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



“Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you see with your own eyes isn’t happening.” -English teacher Read Diary of Anne Frank together.


12