Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.


15, 18, 21



Put together a PowerPoint project outlining addiction: substance, gambling, shopping, hoarding, eating, etc. Have them so the research and put it together. Discuss. Reward its completion with a fun activity or trip.


15



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10



Kids Can Make a Difference is a great resource for teaching little kids about poverty and equality.


6-10



You tackled a big project and you're wondering if it will be a success. Ask yourself: "Was I fair?" Was I kind?" " Did I put in the work?" If the answer is yes, then rest well, no matter what the outcome. If the answer is no, go back and fix it.


17



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



The only thing that matters is love. When we live with love - for God, for others and ourselves, that is what makes life worth living.


16



Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.


19



You are not your thoughts. Focus more on your choices / actions.


17



Institute a “leave by” time instead of a curfew. That way they won’t panic / speed if something out of their control happens to make them late. “Leave Riley’s house by 10pm.”


13



Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.


15, 17, 21



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.


15-17



Purpose is more important than happiness. Having a purpose (or looking for it) will save you. (And sometimes finding a *new* purpose is what you need.)


16, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



1

Sex: There's no single way to do it "right" but there are lots of ways to do it wrong. Not being respectful and tender towards your partner is usually at the root of "wrong" ways to do it. Also, there is no rush. You may think all your friends are "doing it." They're not. Take your time.


16



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13



My dad was a Marine. He enlisted at 18 with his buddies during he Korean War. He was never a "typical" Marine, always a gentle spirit and rarely spoke about his days in Korea. One carry-over was kind of a little inside joke he had with his buddies in the war: They used the expression "Semper Fi" sarcastically, in the opposite way it's meant. When they said it to each other it meant "I got mine, you're on your own. Fend for yourself." We always used to joke about it too when little things happened like there was no more milk for the cereal, "Semper Fi." Of course the irony is that my dad and his Marine buddies were the very definition of faithful when it came to the big stuff. They just liked to joke about the little stuff. Still use it jokingly that way to this day.


18



Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!


16, 21



Dream big. Work hard.


18



Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.


12, 16, 19, 21



When they turn 18 they should have a will, a financial power of attorney and a medical PoA.


17,18



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Do feel like you’re where you’re supposed to be?


19, 21



There is an expression “God only gives you what you can handle.” I think that’s backwards. I think that God gives you the grace you need to handle whatever comes your way. He is faithful and generous. I think that’s what “Be not afraid” means.


17



Unkind people are unhappy people.


8, 18



Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.


Infant-21



“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey


19