“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



Compete for the last meatball at Sunday dinner: Biggest burp, telling the best story, finished vegetables first, etc.


5



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



Time is of the essence


16



Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.


12-16



Bottom line bible quote: Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD and do good.” That pretty much covers everything.


13, 21



Check your ego and question your motives. Are you in it for the right reasons or because of how it would look if you weren’t? Do you feel like you need to be a hero or the smartest one in the room? If the answer is yes I would strongly recommend that you get right with yourself.


13, 16, 19, 21



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



1

Highly recommend book about math and multiplication techniques:“The Best of Times” by Greg Tang.


10



“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.


18



Walking at night during the wintertime remember to wear a bright scarf or something reflective. So many pedestrians get hit when it’s dark outside because they’re wearing dark colors and drivers can’t see them.


15, 20



Read Prefontaine.


13



Build a treehouse together


8



There’s always a temptation to throw money at your problem. But remember there’s nothing you can buy that will make up for what is really needed. And the stuff that accumulates while you try to fix the problem just ends up being a problem on its own.


14, 19



On September 11th I was at work in Fairfax VA. News reports were saying a plane was headed to the Capitol, that the Whitehouse had been hit. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, news reports will be unreliable. Wait until the facts are in. Several of the nurses had husbands who worked at the Pentagon. One of the doctors was married to a U.S. Senator in her office on the Hill. It was surreal, but no one panicked. I remember we all burst into tears when my friend’s husband called saying he was safe. So relieved.


15, 17



My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.” I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.


18



For a bad cut / gash, use a rolled up washcloth or hand towel to apply pressure until you can get to an ER. If you have to drive yourself or need your hands free, secure the towel in place with duct tape.


18



One regret I have is how sure I was that I was in the right. Looking back I can see now that there were plenty of times when I was the a-hole. I wish I had been able to be circumspect.


14, 17, 21



Make “good trouble” as Rep. John Lewis said. Justice is won, not given.


14, 19



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.


14, 21



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.


13. 17, 19, 21



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



Make a pound of ground beef go further by adding chopped cabbage or mushrooms.


19



Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.


12



My ballet teacher used to punish us by making us sit on the floor and hold our arms up. It hurts! But you learn how to sit with pain. You learn how to endure and how to use your mind to make your muscles really don’t want to do.


14, 20