Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)
11
It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.
19
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3
Sometimes fear feels like a signal to get out of there, but being uncomfortable in a new situation is totally normal. Practice sitting in that discomfort and you’ll find it gets easier.
9, 12, 15, 17, 21
90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)
17, 21
They can shower themselves if you install a hand-held shower head and install a suction cup wall-mount shower head holder lower on the shower wall. It’s easy to do and very cheap. They love it!
4-6
They’re gonna be pretty mean to you for a few years. Love them, if only to spite them! (ha ha)
11. 12, 13
You can (and should) pray for help. But remember, you have to do your part too. Depending on the situation it could be a little or a lot, but don’t just sit back and expect to be rescued. Moses had to dip his toe in the Red Sea before God parted it. Ask for help, but do your part.
14, 21
Here’s one definition of a saint: Someone who isn’t a jerk, doesn’t complain or whine when they’re sick or in pain.
15, 19
Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.
13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
8
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17
Whether it’s a kid at school or a politician on tv, beware of someone who tries to blame the world’s problems on a minority or some other group of people who are different. It’s a cheap tactic to get people riled up and afraid.
13
You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.
10, 13, 16, 21
Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.
17, 21
Put your purse, (wallet,bag, phone, or shoe) in the backseat with the baby. Unattended babies die every day and it’s my worst nightmare.
Infant-3, 21
Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.
7
It’s okay to feel jealous. Totally normal, totally human. Just never act on jealousy.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21