People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Imagine hearing the apology you need to hear. Often times that really helps, even if the person never actually says it. It makes it easier to forgive and move on.


18



Have family game nights this winter.


9



Two words: Kinetic Sand.


3



Always wear an undershirt with a dress shirt.


15



“Natural” deodorant doesn’t work. Go with trusted brands here. There are times when it’s fine not to look your best, but stinky is never okay.


13, 18



Don’t waste your life’s purpose worrying about what other people think about you.


12, 15, 21



Teach them about the law and how it applies to them: Here's what happens if you hurt someone, steal, drive drunk, use or sell drugs, sexting, etc.


12



Put him in charge of figuring the tip out when we’re out at a restaurant. Calculate 15% or 20% etc. Also emphasize that the difference between a good tip and a great tip is usually just a few dollars but it makes a difference to the recipient. Be generous with people who are in service professions.


12-14



Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


17



Don’t be a mooch! Contribute: To your home, your relationships, your work, your community, your church, your country, the world. Think about how much you get from all these things. It’s so much more from all these things than you could ever pay back, but that doesn’t mean you don’t try. Dig in and contribute wherever you can. Never free-load. That’s not who we are. Be brave and contribute your talent, treasure or whatever you can. Duty and compassion both demand it.


11-18



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Let go of things that aren’t good for you. Anger, fear, prejudice, obsession, grudges, snark, etc.


16, 21



101 Essays That Will Change the Way You Think by Brianna Wiest. Listen to it yearly!


16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.


2, 13, 17



Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



Painful or unpleasant emotions can’t grow if you stay in the present. (Easy way to do this is to focus on your breathing.)


10, 13, 16, 21



Love then when they least deserve it because that’s when the need it the most.


3, 13, 17



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



Kindness is magic.


11, 15, 21



Pick an issue. One single issue, i.e. the economy or the environment or coverage of a certain event such as a crime or a sport season. Read at least one newspaper article on that topic every day. NYT, London Times etc.


14, 15, 16, 21



Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.


14, 21



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!


3-4



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20