Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.


11, 14, 17



1

Your body and brain are always trying to protect you.


17



Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”


Infant



All behavior is communication.


2-6



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.


Infant



Build something beautiful.


13, 21



When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.


18, 21



I’m cool with “C”s. Do good work but don’t put too much pressure yourself.


14



Plan a neighborhood "Winter Olympics" for snow days. Create indoor and outdoor events.


8



I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.


13-17, 21



“I don’t give a rat’s $@!#% how much respect u garner out in the world if you don’t show respect and love and serve those you love at home.” ____loosely quoted from Glennon Doyle’s ‘Untamed.’


14, 19



You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.


15, 19, 21



Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?


15, 21



Work on developing a “no shortcuts” mode. Looking for a faster/easier/bare-minimum option isn’t always bad. People get paid a lot of money for creating efficacy. But there are times when that approach is wrong. Anything you want to grow from (relationships, school, work, wealth, health, knowledge, etc.) those things deserve your full effort, focus and dedication. Play. Definitely play! But don’t f*ck around.


12, 14, 15, 18, 19, 21



Sweetheart you don’t have room in your life for people who don’t get you. Let your light shine…and f*@k anyone who doesn’t appreciate it.


14, 16, 18, 20



Everyone gets crushes but if you’re having an imaginary relationship do so with an imaginary person. It’s disrespectful of someone’s dignity to obsess over them. Not to mention your own dignity!


12, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21



Mallomars in Christmas stockings. Mom NEVER buys Mallomars. But Santa does. (Reticket x 15 years.)


4



Imagine a hundred different lives. Try a dozen of them. Fail at most of them. That’s part of what your twenties are for. Challenge yourself. Challenge your assumptions. Change your perspective. Grow.


20



Talk to them about how dangerous it is to buy pills online. Fentanyl is ubiquitous and lethal in small doses. Never never take a pull that wasn’t prescribed or purchased legally.


12



Sometimes the only thing you can do is to show up. Be there.


13, 15, 17, 21



Introduction to 70’s Southern Rock. Skynyrd, Allman Bros, etc.


14



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



People don’t abandon people they love, they abandon people they’re using.


19, 21



Spend time with people you admire. Real-life acquaintances, biographies and documentaries, and fictional characters in novels, plays and movies.


13, 15, 18, 21