You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.
14, 17, 21
Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.
11, 14, 17
Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”
15
Don’t get discouraged in how slow change comes. Keep fighting for good. Some people will say it’s naive but they’re wrong. Every good thing we have in America is the result of good people fighting a seemingly impossible fight.
16, 21
When you’re trying to make a positive change and you get sidetracked- don’t fret. Get right back to it as soon as possible. If you backslide into a bad habit, or blow your diet, etc. start back eating right with your next meal (not the next year/ month/week or even next day.) It’s not the falling off the wagon that hurts your progress, it’s the STAYING off the wagon. Everyone flubs-up sometimes. Don’t quit striving toward your goal because you slipped up. Get right back to it!!
14, 17, 21
You don’t have to have everything you want. Practice saying “no thank you” to dessert or passing on the purchase you’re considering. Benefits are plentiful: Build self-discipline (which is like a muscle) and you learn you’re really ok and often happier when you don’t indulge a “want.”
13, 15, 21
When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.
12, 16, 21
Write your own job description. When you've been around long enough to know what you're good at and can identify what needs in the company you can help with.
21
Keep difficult conversations brief. Under ten minutes then table it so everyone can process.
13, 14, 16. 19, 21
An album is like a book, meant to be taken as a whole. It tells a story, has its own vibe. Let’s listen to an album together every week.
12
Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.
19
Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.
15, 17, 21
Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.
17
Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.
17, 21
Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.
5, 21
“1883” Season 1 episode 6 has one of my favorite scenes about grief. “When you love someone you trade souls with them. Part of them lives in you and part of you lives with them. When they die, part of you dies with them. But a part of them lives in you.” Beautiful thought.
17, 21
“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.
19
Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
14, 19