When the child is feeling upset or out of control, that is not the time to teach a lesson. Share your calm, be a safe place for them. When they’re feeling better, THEN teach the lesson.


1, 2, 3, 4



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?


11



Summer concerts at Wolftrap- get good seats so they can really get a sense of the experience.


13-16



Don’t waste big money on little things. Be intentional about what you spend.


16, 21



Alka-Seltzer is great for a hangover or even better, take it before you go to bed after partying. Disclaimer I’m talking about a few drinks. For the love of everything holy, please don’t ingest insane amounts of alcohol at a time. Buzzed is fun, drunk is stupid. And dangerous. Never drive once you’ve had a drink or weed.


18



You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.


14, 17, 21



A simple blessing to silently pray over someone: “May he (she) be healthy, May he be safe. O Lord bless him with peace and joy.” Pray for people you know, for strangers on the elevator, for teachers, world leaders, friends or foes, etc. It’s one way to make the world a better place, and it turns your heart closer to God.


15



Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.


14-20



Always wear an undershirt with a dress shirt.


15



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



If it costs you your peace it’s too expensive.


19



Prayer for Teen Years ___ Please God, let them make good choices and get through these teen years with pride and not regret. ___ When they make mistakes (‘cause we both know they will) ____help me keep things in perspective, forgive easily _____and pour love into them again and again.


13, 14



Your mother and I would never want you to sacrifice the wellbeing of your own family for us. They should always be your priority. In the years ahead, make the choices that affirm that.


21



Recruit the kids to help with cleaning the house. All hands on deck "round-ups" are fun and efficient: Round up sippy cups, trash, dirty laundry, give-aways, etc. Time them for maximum enthusiasm: "60 second trash round up...Go!" See who can collect the most trash in 60 seconds.


4



Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/


birth-age 3



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



Uplift your friends and surround yourself with friends who uplift you. In person and online. Encourage each other to let your lights shine brightly. Never bully or steal someone’s joy.


11, 15, 18, 20



Writing is thinking.


14, 17. 21



So you want to be a writer- then write. Anything. Play around with it. Journal. Fiction, non-fiction, biography, obits, blogs, plays, tv pilots, whatever. You will probably suck at it. Keep writing. Write more and more. You will get better, you’ll find your flow. This w


16, 21



If you have a goal, just dive in. It's okay if you mess up or fail. Start over, get help... but start.


13, 18, 21



Treat your subordinates as if you’ll be working for them someday.


21



“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill


16, 21



I read this quote in a blog when my oldest was little: "You will never be more needed or more loved than you are right now. You will long for the days when your kids were little." So true. These years are exhausting, but hang in there. You are their sun and moon.


2



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21



Teach tuck to drive


15



Water park for fifth birthday


10



Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21