Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)


10, 13, 16, 19, 21



Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.


15



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



Teach them about shaken baby syndrome.


13



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



There’s no sense in giving up yourself in order to be liked by people you don’t know (or like!) Like what you like. Love who you love. Be who you are. There’s nothing to fear.


13, 16, 18, 21



Give book "50 Things Every Young Lady Should Know" by Kay West.


14



They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)


3



Imagine your mind as a really cool nightclub, and you get to be the bouncer out in front. There's a VIP line, and then there's a regular line just everyday people, good, bad, otherwise. The VIPs are feelings. Every single feeling is allowed in, should they choose to come in. We just ask their name, and we treat them with kindness. If they want to talk, we talk. If they don't want to talk, we don't make them talk. We greet them, and we're ready to listen to them. Now, with the other line, the crowd that is everybody, good, bad, and otherwise— that is the line of thoughts that are trying to get into our mind. And some of those, you can take one look at and just say, keep moving, bud. Nope. Some, you're like, oh yeah, you, automatically, you know, just gorgeous, go in, go in. Yes, absolutely. Keep going. Some you have to talk to. Some you have to wait. Some you can kick to the curb immediately. Not all thoughts are welcome just because they're there. All feelings are welcome. All thoughts are not. You are the bouncer.


10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21.



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



A friend of mine lost her son in a horrible accident. She wrote “I don’t believe God caused this but I do believe he can redeem it.” That has stayed with me for years. God doesn’t cause suffering... He showers those who suffer with his grace.


18



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



We are all incurably human.


5, 15, 21



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



“If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?” From a story told by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak ....Do you know what causes him pain or anxiety? What he’s afraid of? In an age-appropriate way....Talk about our fears and the things that hurt us. He will see it’s normal to have fear and pain, and he will learn he can come to me with anything that troubles him.


8



Sometimes it’s easier to describe what a thing is *not* than to describe what it is.


14, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



Build something beautiful.


13, 21



Most times there isn’t a “right decision.” You make a decision and then it’s up to you to *make* it right.


12, 16, 19, 21



Talking to people you disagree with is sometimes difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. Enter every conversion assuming you have something to learn.


14, 18, 21



In professional setting: Limit one exclamation point per email, if any. Definitely no emoticons.


19



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record


12, 15, 18