Marriage vows won’t “fix” anything about a relationship. They won’t change how a person communicates. Never start out a relationship with the hope or expectation that your partner will change (or if they are hoping you will change.)It’s not fair to either of you. Everyone deserves to be loved for who they are, not who they could be.


21



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!


17



People may have all kinds of different motives for doing what they do, saying what they say. To “give someone the benefit of the doubt” means that you consider what the best possible reason they may have for doing what they did and assume that was the motive. If someone has earned your trust, even if it’s that they’ve done nothing to break your trust, give them the benefit of the doubt.


11-15



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



Action is the antidote to anxiety.


12, 14, 17, 21



No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.


17



Writing is thinking.


14, 17. 21



Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1

Make a separate piggie bank together for money to donate. Talk about how we manage what we have thoughtfully: Save some, spend some, donate some.


5-8



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask: Was I fair? Was I kind? Did I put in the work? If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well. If an answer is “No,” then fix it.


16



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Addiction is when you can’t get through the day without something. It’s not that you need to feel high, it’s that you can’t live without what gets you high. Humans are all wired to be at risk for addiction


13, 15, 18, 20



Career is so important to your life satisfaction. Do what makes you happy. If you’re really at a loss for what you want to do for work, then go where you’re needed.


18, 21



It’s possible (even common) to feel conflicting emotions simultaneously. You can be glad you’re not with a girl and still be jealous if she finds a new love. You can be glad you’ve moved on and still miss what once was. You can be sad that something happened and grateful for something that came of it. Humans are complex. Two or more conflicting thoughts can exist in our heads at once. It’s not a betrayal or a character flaw.


17



When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.


2, 3, 4, 5



In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.


15



1

Love isn’t enough but it’s a great start.


21



Just let them be who they are. Enjoy getting to know them.


1-21



Challenge: Memorize and recite The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus.


10



“Never let anyone tell you who you are. SHOW them who you are.” - Kamala Harris


12, 13, 17, 21



Don’t confuse impulsive with courageous.


10, 14, 19, 21



Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.


15, 21



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16