Celebration and acknowledgment: Make a big deal over little-big things and teach them the same: getting their braces off, or a cast on a broken bone, a friend gets a new car, etc. Always acknowledge the sad that someone is going through or the difficult situation. Applies to all ages.
12, 15, 19, 21
Be a good guest. Never arrive to a dinner or a party empty handed. Bring a gift: flowers, food, drink, etc.
18
Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.
4-6
Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)
13, 15
If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.
13, 19, 21
Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!
15, 19, 21
Start explaining wants vs. needs. Continue explaining for the next 30 years. We don’t always get what we want. That’s okay. 4 year olds can begin to understand this.
4
For parties, collect cell phones and put them in a basket. "Parent calls only. Enjoy the people here! They're pretty awesome!"
12
The better you eat, the better you feel. (And look.) if you eat like sh*t you’re going to feel like sh*t. Eat your vegetables! xoxo
17, 21
Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!
13, 16, 18, 21
“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey
12-16
Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.
12,18, 21
Never follow an “I love you” with a “but...” Instead, follow it with “and...” or “that’s why...” Remember this when they’re young, teach it to them when they’re older.
10, 20
When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.
16
Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)
15