"God came to us because he wanted to join us on the road, to listen to our story, and to help us realize that we are not walking in circles but moving towards the house of peace and joy. This is the great mystery of Christmas that continues to give us comfort and consolation: we are not alone on our journey. The God of love who gave us life sent his only Son to be with us at all times and in all places, so that we never have to feel lost in our struggles but always can trust that he walks with us. The challenge is to let God be who he wants to be. A part of us clings to our aloneness and does not allow God to touch us where we are most in pain. Often we hide from him precisely those places in ourselves where we feel guilty, ashamed, confused, and lost. Thus we do not give him a chance to be with us where we feel most alone. Christmas is the renewed invitation not to be afraid and to let him-whose love is greater than our own hearts and minds can comprehend-be our companion" - Henri Nouwen


16, 21



To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.” Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.


14, 18



Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.


16, 19, 21



We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)


16



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Be intentional. You don’t get to choose what they remember.


1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10



It’s so tempting to write someone off, to dismiss them as “less than.” They’re too young or too old to be taken seriously. They speak a different language or have a different skin color. They may be poor, uneducated, disabled or just simply unattractive. RESIST that temptation. Remember that every human being is God’s creation, a masterpiece cloaked in dignity. No matter what they look like or even what they’ve done, everyone you meet is deserving (and in need) of respect. To be humble is to remember this. (Start lesson young, phrased age-appropriately, and reticket yearly. Look for opportunities to discuss.)


8, 10, 11, 12, 16, 21



Talk to them about how dangerous it is to buy pills online. Fentanyl is ubiquitous and lethal in small doses. Never never take a pull that wasn’t prescribed or purchased legally.


12



“Never allow anyone to be humiliated in your presence.” - Eliezer "Elie" Wiesel


12, 14, 17, 21



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.


14, 17, 21



Check out the Wolf Trap Children's summer theater.


4-11



You can’t hit ‘em all outta the park. Some days (dates, reviews, vacations, report cards, etc.) are just going to fall flat. No worries, the next one will be better.


15, 19



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



1

Physical contact between two people is only fun / appropriate / legal / healthy if both people are into it. If one party objects, demurs or even acts less-than-interested, that’s the ballgame. Stop physical contact immediately. Be kind and respectful at all times.


15, 18



Toddler years: Tater tots make everything better. The smaller ones cook faster and you don't have to turn them.


2



At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)


5



School shootings are a result of blind rage and complete hopelessness. First, ban the f*cking guns. But we need to teach our kids how to handle big emotions. To expect them, how learning to navigate them is like learning to fly an F16. It will be tough, yes but you will learn how to fly expertly, safely, and with your own style and flair.


12-15



All behavior is communication.


2-6



Read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit together


11



Book recommendation: “Star Fish” by Lisa Fipps.


11



Yoga for kids classes or YouTube


5-8



A hard day’s work is something to be proud of, not afraid of.


8, 12, 15, 20



Brennan Manning lectures and books.


19



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16



The opposite of depression is expression.


15



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



Great article about teaching young kids how to do better than “I’m sorry” when they’ve caused another child pain. https://offspring.lifehacker.com/what-to-say-to-little-kids-instead-of-say-sorry-1819288365?fbclid=IwAR0bKgo60isKj6a5D2s3cs1leWCIyK9TXTBK62upV9U1S_bR0otfJndwg_k


3, 8



Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.


14, 18, 21