“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.
5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
Great reminders for how to deal with belligerent kids. https://mailchi.mp/ahaparenting/8-things-you-can-do-when-your-child-is-belligerent
4
Look into going to college abroad. Research international universities. Spain, Netherlands, etc.
15, 16
Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.
12, 13, 16
Sadness means you need love. (From another person, a pet, yourself.) Someone whose presence brings you comfort. May be dead, living, fictional, historical figure, religious (god, saints, Buddha, etc.) Live and in person is best though. Let someone love you how you need to be loved.
19, 21
If you see a kid sitting alone, he or she might be your next best friend. Go say hi! Ask him/her to sit next to you / play on your team, etc. No need to worry about whether that person is “too cool” or “not cool enough,” they’re just a kid. Like you.
8
Check out the website Brightly for timely and age-appropriate book recommendations. All sorts of subjects and themes.
5-12
Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!
11
I hope you don’t have to struggle with your weight. For me it’s been a lifelong battle. Some things I learned are: Listen to your body and eat when you’re hungry. Eat as many vegetables as possible. Ignore the scale and focus on other goals, ones that are in your control such as how long you can run (or dance, or row, etc.) Reading a book instead of plopping down in front of the tv with a bowl of ice cream, saying “no thanks” to a treat. Focusing on pounds lost or gained is deflating. Stay in good shape for as long as you can! Make your health a priority. It’s much harder to get in shape than to stay in shape.
21
Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!
5-15, 18, 21
Someone else’s success doesn’t subtract from yours. Celebrating with them and encouraging them won’t make you the loser and them the winner. We’re all in this together.
12, 15
Start saving money early. Save as much as you can. There are plenty of things worth spending your money on, but be mindful about your money - Don’t p*ss it away.
15, 20
Explore American Sign Language. Libraries have books and websites like Lifeprint.com are great resources. It’s a good skill, helps build vocabulary and verbal skills. Seems that preschoolers are naturals -they just think it’s fun.
4-5
Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!
17
You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.
8-15
Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.
17
Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.
15, 21
“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.
18
Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.
17, 21