Other peoples’ expectations are the guard rails on the road. They keep you safe and guide you he way - literally. They keep you from driving off a cliff. So if you want to be safe, and if you do that’s great, stay within the guardrails. But if you want to fly, you’re gonna have to run right over them.


18, 21



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.


19



I’d rather you be brave than perfect. Take chances. Fail, then pick yourself up and keep going.


18



Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


17



Go to minor league baseball games this summer. Better seats, less crowds, easier, cheaper. Great players. Kids won't know the difference.


9-15



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


14



Before heading out for a good time, make a mental note on the ways you could wreck or end your life if bad stuff happened: Sick/hurt/dead from alcohol or drugs, unintended pregnancy, or being raped (or being charged with rape.) What do u have to do to protect yourself and keep things from going from good times to life-changing nightmare. Keep your wits about ya. And look out for your friends too.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Wipe your kids’ tears when they’re sad. Smile with them when they are happy. Hold them close when they are scared. And let them see your tears, smiles, and fears too. This is how you teach them to be a human in this world.


6



When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.


9



Teach tuck to drive


15



Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



Read “Raising a Screen Smart Kid” by Julianna Miner before you consider giving him a phone.


10



Plan a neighborhood "Winter Olympics" for snow days. Create indoor and outdoor events.


8



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Go on a cruise


12-15



Sometimes progress is slow - Keep working. Sometimes change is swift - hang on!


16



A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.


14, 17, 21



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



They are looking for your support, not your solutions. Applies to all ages.


2, 3, 4, 8, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21



Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.


13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18



The most important things I can teach you is how to love and be loved


14, 19, 21



Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.


18



If car breaks down, if at all possible, avoid pulling over on the highway. Get off the highway and pull to safety.


16



Resource: the website Ask, Listen and Learn has great material about how to start a conversation about the dangers of under-age drinking. asklistenlearn.org


9



Make "place value cups" as a rainy day activity and way to teach big numbers. (google, youtube or pinterest)


6-7



Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.


15, 21