Turn off main water line when you leave on vacation.


21



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



Life doesn’t have to turn out like you imagined it would in order to be AMAZING.


19



Paint rocks with pictures or kind messages and find public places to leave them where they can hide in plain site. See RockOurWorldArt.


8-11



The opposite of depression is expression.


15



Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.


1Infant-20



When you’re trying to make a positive change and you get sidetracked- don’t fret. Get right back to it as soon as possible. If you backslide into a bad habit, or blow your diet, etc. start back eating right with your next meal (not the next year/ month/week or even next day.) It’s not the falling off the wagon that hurts your progress, it’s the STAYING off the wagon. Everyone flubs-up sometimes. Don’t quit striving toward your goal because you slipped up. Get right back to it!!


14, 17, 21



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



Anything you wear on purpose is fashion.


14, 19, 21



One of the best doctors I ever worked with started his day by walking through the office and saying “good morning” to everyone. He’d do the same before he left at the end of the day, just making sure everyone was ok, to call him if they needed anything, etc. I don’t know what your career will be but if you’re in a position to do so, I hope you’ll adopt this habit.


21



Grandpa used to keep a hundred dollar bill stashed discreetly in his wallet “for emergencies.”


17



Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



Long before I was old enough to decide what I wanted my life to be about, I was set on a path of other’s choosing: marriage, kids, Catholic. I took that assignment to heart. Focused like a laser beam. Ironically, I believe that it’s because marriage and a conventional family was my prime directive that I ended up becoming roadkill on that path. My point is twofold: don’t let me or anyone else tell you what your life should look like. Maybe college isn’t for you, maybe marriage isn’t something that appeals to you, maybe it is! Keep exploring until you find a direction that fits your own values and priorities. As long as you’re paying your bills and you’re not hurting anyone including yourself, knock yourself out! Go wild! Do whatever feels right. And if you don’t know where you want to be, go where you’re needed to start with. I love you forever no matter what you do.


17, 21



Remember your training and staying calm and kind is how you get through this. It’s all you need to excel. So do your homework, whatever it may be. Show up and have at it. Calm and kind, baby. You got this.


9, 12, 14, 18, 21



Paradoxical Commandments by Kent Keith.


19



Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.


7



You’re someone’s cup of tea. I don’t mean there is only one person out there for you, I mean someone is waiting to love you exactly how you are. Stop wasting time with fools who want to change you to fit their ideal.


15, 19, 21



Check out First Stage and Wolftrap performances


15



The thing about hiding is you’re always worried you’ll be see, caught, or found out. It takes a toll. I hope you never hide from who you are, or feel like you have to fake it to be liked. I will always accept you as you are, and I hope to raise you so you accept yourself (and others) as well.


14,17



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.


9



Any thought about self-harm is like a “check engine” light going off for your brain. Seek professional help. You will recover.


12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21



Teach them about shaken baby syndrome.


13



“God is gentle and loving. He desires you to have a deep sense of safety in His love.” - paraphrasing Henri Nouwen


16



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)


13, 15



Start the tradition of First Sunday dinners. On the first Sunday of the month, have a "mini-holiday" dinner. Invite family, friends. Use the nice dishes, make a big meal. Celebrate family.


4-18



Your emotional energy is sacred, and there’s nothing wrong with treating it that way. If connection is what you’re looking for, save your emotional energy for those who will cherish it and share their own. - Yung Pueblo from his book “Lighter”


12, 14, 17, 21