You can (and should) pray for help. But remember, you have to do your part too. Depending on the situation it could be a little or a lot, but don’t just sit back and expect to be rescued.
Moses had to dip his toe in the Red Sea before God parted it.
Ask for help, but do your part.
To paraphrase Chris Rock, “You don’t get points for NOT beating your wife.”
Meaning, you’re EXPECTED to do the right thing. So do the right thing, without any expectation of praise.
Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc.
Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.
“It’s not as important how a message is received compared to how it is sent.” Sometimes you have to have uncomfortable conversations but the can always be kind and loving. Sometimes your message won’t land well, but if you expressed yourself truthfully and kindly, that’s not your burden to bear.
True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.
When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?”
Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.
Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.
ABC's of video game addiction: Autonomy, Belonging, Control.
Try to find ways to developing these things in areas outside of gaming. Games are great, but not at the expense of everything else.
Depression can look a lot like a bad attitude. Try reacting to his chronic edginess with “Sounds like you’re in pain. You can come to me about anything, any time.”
I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo