Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Never follow an “I love you” with a “but...” Instead, follow it with “and...” or “that’s why...” Remember this when they’re young, teach it to them when they’re older.


10, 20



There’s a great scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion is trying to prepare for an impending siege of the city but he doesn’t know how to begin planning a defense. Until he starts thinking about how his enemy is most likely to attack. Defense is reactive, offensive is proactive.


19



Grandpa used to keep a hundred dollar bill stashed discreetly in his wallet “for emergencies.”


17



I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.


13-17, 21



Send thank you acknowledgemnt for gifts received


1-21



1

Watch Ted Lasso together.


16



College: you’re gonna do great! You’re also probably gonna want to quit at some point during your first year. Totally normal. If you decide college isn’t for you or now isn’t the right time, okay. But give it a year if you can. You’ll thank yourself later.


17



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



1

Start something new and let yourself revel in being bad at it. Paint badly, dance badly, write badly, play badly. Keep at it, and don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually you’ll be good at it!


15, 21



You were THREE years old when you caught sight of a half-dressed beautiful woman. You didn’t have much of a vocabulary yet but when your eyes got wide and you said “BAM BAM” I knew exactly what you meant. (Woman was Jessica Biel in an Adam Sandler movie.)


14, 21



Read The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe together.


8



Ask yourself "What kind of man do I want to be?"


14-21



Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.


5, 21



When you feel hopeless that’s when you know it’s time to seek help. It’s a red flag in someone’s demeanor. Notify parents if you notice this feeling of deep despair in yourself or someone you know. Help really does help.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Life is difficult...Focus on the joy.


16, 20



Start “home economics” school with them. Laundry, cleaning, cooking, how to change a diaper, comfort a baby, soothe a toddler, what's involved in caring for pets, budgeting for food, keeping track of maintenance schedules for humans, pets, cars and machines. Engage with guests, be a good host, etc. Know when and how to tell someone to GTFO of the house (racist or misogynistic speech, etc.) Every kid needs to learn the art and science of home management. Look for and point out examples in books and movies of good home science skills.


5, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 21



Teach them how to eat a chicken wing in one bite


12



One of the most important things I can teach you is to help you learn how to deal with big feelings without resorting to destructive behavior or violence. Everyone on the planet will experience loss, disappointment, grief, heartbreak, betrayal, etc. Tools to deal with these feelings: counseling, journaling, art, music, exercise, meditation, breathing exercises, yoga, being in nature, talking with friends, joining a support group, movement like dancing or skating, singing, acting, anthropomorphic dialogue with your emotions, naming your emotions and describe how they physically feel in your body. Asking the emotion what it needs you to know.


1Infant-20



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



1

Don’t let some dumb-sh*t’s overconfidence get you killed.


11, 14, 17, 19, 21



Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.


7



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.


15, 21



Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.


17



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



1

Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)


15



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14