You may end up being a big shot, Good for you! But check yourself. The good lord wasn't above washing his friends' dirty feet so please don't feel like you're above any task that needs to be done. Enjoy your success but stay humble.


20



Don’t Just “go along for the ride” in your relationships. Be clear about your intentions and act accordingly. It’s part of being a man. A GOOD man. Sometimes you just need to have a talk and make sure you’re both on the same page. It won’t $@!#% you!


16, 21



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.


15, 21



The most attractive man in the world is one who brings peace.


21



Paint rocks with pictures or kind messages and find public places to leave them where they can hide in plain site. See RockOurWorldArt.


8-11



Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.


13



“Vulnerability is not about winning or losing, it’s about showing up and being seen.” -Brene Brown Be vulnerable, that’s where the good stuff lies.


18



“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.


19



Train for a mini-triathlon together as a family this year.


12



Resource: the website Ask, Listen and Learn has great material about how to start a conversation about the dangers of under-age drinking. asklistenlearn.org


9



A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it: “There is nothing nothing easy about this thing called grief. Nothing. But I ask you to please please please say yes more often than you say no. Say yes to you. To possibility. To hope. To love. To life. To healing. Please choose the light more often than you choose the darkness. Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness. There are. But it's often so much easier to find them the gifts in the light. Do all you can to stay in the light. Please remember that the person you love so so so dearly lived. Don't forget that. He lived. She lived. Here with you. And your relationship continues. Always. Don't be so overwhelmed and paralyzed and pissed off that he died that she died that you spend most of your time focusing on their death. Focus on your life. Together. Say yes as often as you can. Choose light as often as you can. Remember that he lived as often as you can. Don't lose her in the details of her death. This thing called grief is hard hard hard work. But you are stronger than you think. His book is called Permission to Mourn


21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Zoom out! Perspective is your friend. At certain times in our lives we have the focus turned up so high that we don’t see beyond ourselves. (Adolescence is one of those times, totally natural.) Zoom out. You’ll feel better.


13, 15, 17, 21



Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?


15, 21



Life is like the ocean: Filled with energy, beauty, scary schit, lots of interesting creatures and so much to be in awe of. We couldn’t possibly control it but we can be a part of it.


16



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



Challenge: Memorize and recite The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus.


10



The opposite of addiction is connection.


11, 14, 17, 20



Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.


14, 16, 20, 21



Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.


15, 21



When you’re struggling with something, you don’t know how you feel or why something is happening... Give it to the Lord. Entrust him with it. He will mold it and soften it so you’re able to process it.


19



Throw leftovers and some cut up veggies in an omelette/ frittata. Cuts down on food waste and saves money.


17



When making decisions or having a disagreement, it’s very easy to get stuck in defense of your position because we just feel so strongly about it. Without realizing it, we can discount good alternatives and or fail to see the strengths of other people’s viewpoints. As an exercise to avoid getting caught in this trap, make a habit of listing 3 reasons why you might be wrong. Stretch to accommodate the possibility that your strongly-held belief just may be wrong.


14, 18, 21



I love that you got chills from watching Wicked. You were 10 and already affected emotionally and physically by music. Bonus points for listening to and acknowledging how your body talks to you.


13, 19, 21



Difficult conversations are…difficult. If you have to deliver bad news, don’t beat around the bush but prepare them for what’s coming rather than just blurting it out. “I have some news that’s going to be difficult to hear…” Or “Is this a good time to talk?” Those are just a couple examples, but many more are available. Look it up or ask people who routinely have to give bad news.


20



Robin Williams was one of the best examples of how to be a good human.


15, 19, 21



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



“A recipe for being mistaken: 1. Dislike someone who's often right. 2. Never agree with someone you dislike.” ——- Paul Graham


16