Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



Keep porn to a minimum. Never at school or work. It's normal to be curious but it's really not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is a business. It's designed to get you off, not to be realistic or educational. That's not the way sex looks or how you're expected to behave. Try O.school instead.


15



Remember this blessing. You are whole. You are lacking nothing. There is nothing that you must achieve, accomplish, or earn. There is no station of graduate, or married, or children, or partner, or famous, or 120 pounds, or, you know, 4% body fat. There is nothing that you must earn, attain, or accomplish to prove your worthiness. You will learn and grow and change. That's part of being human. But there is nothing about you, there is nothing about your worth that is different on any day of your life. No matter what, no matter when, you are precious, and you are whole. You are safe. You are sound. You are secure.


10, 14, 18, 21



Begin to teach self-policing. There are plenty of good things that I want them to be able to partake in (alcohol, a trip to Vegas, etc.) but alcohol and gambling are just a few of the things that can sneak up and take hold and RUIN your life if you don’t know how to self-limit. Respect the potential danger and be vigilant. keep re-ticketing and repeat yearly (age-appropriate)


11



take advantage of the bike trail. Bike places as a family.


11



Offer gifts to the Lord. Maybe it's your school work, or your career, or the kid you raise, or your life in general. Wrap it up and make it a present to the Lord.


9-15



Puberty is like putting a 12 year old in the pilot seat of a fighter jet. A total sh*t show at first, then better but still erratic and dramatic until they really get a feel for the speed and the pressure, the gauges, etc. They’ll learn when to question or to trust their instincts. Tell him that he’ll fly this jet for the rest of his life and it will always be dangerous because it’s an effing jet, but he will learn how to fly it expertly. He’ll do good, have fun, accomplish missions and refuel.


12



Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



Never make a decision from a place of hopelessness.


14, 16, 21



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Life doesn’t need to be perfect to be beautiful.


20



When driving in the car with your kids, ask them to count motorcycles, cyclists, pedestrians. Prize to the highest count! This will train them to be on the lookout for them.


10



May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21



Teach them about shaken baby syndrome.


13



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16



What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.


13



Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.


16, 21



Re-Read "Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Landscape" by Peggy Orenstein.


13



Sesame Street has great resources on teaching finances to little ones.


4-5



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



There will be many times in your life you feel powerless. What makes you feel powerful? For me, it's a good run, listening to good music with the volume on high. Prayer reminds me I'm connected to God, who is powerful beyond all measure.


14-17



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13



The most important things I can teach you is how to love and be loved


14, 19, 21



Appalachian Mountain Club


9-13



Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.


8, 10, 14, 18, 21



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Learn to tie knots.


10