Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)


14, 21



Practice not putting stuff off. If it takes 10 seconds or less do it now. Then move up to 30 seconds or less. Keep going up to ~3 minutes. Good example is putting away laundry or emptying dishwasher, etc.


15



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



You're about to come into a ton of energy and strength. It will seem like a lot to manage at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to use it constructively. Push your limits (within reason.) Challenge yourself.


13



Water park for fifth birthday


10



Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.


15, 21



Sometimes rejection is God’s protection. If u worked hard and gave it your all and still missed the bus, that bus wasn’t yours. Read The Artist’s Way.


17



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill


16, 21



Be supportive of someone who is trying to better themselves.


16



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11



Two big things. Control yourself, not others. Learn to react less.


12, 16, 19, 21



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Sometimes (oftentimes) the truth is easier to find than to face.


14, 20



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Sometimes the job will require you to do menial tasks. Do them enthusiastically because nothing is “beneath you.” If the good Lord can wash people’s feet, you can make coffee at the office. Get over yourself.


16, 21



When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.


10, 15, 21



Just put your best foot forward and get on with it!


14, 17, 21



“Dress braver than you feel. Act braver than you feel.” - Ray


17



Piano


21



Quoting Sarah Bessel: “One of the best things Jen Hatmaker has taught me about raising big kids: if they get on the roller coaster of Big Emotions, my main first job is to stay on the platform. I am NOT to get in the car and ride up


12



I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago. BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.


5-10, 14



Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.


17



It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.


1Infant-14



Difficult conversations: Break-ups, layoffs, etc. happen. Practice delivering bad news and getting bad news.


15-21



"Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solutions, not retribution.”- L.R KNost


2-15



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9