Whatever your first knee-jerk reaction is, it’s not always the right one. Sleep on it.


14, 17, 21



There’s an art to speaking harsh truths in a delicate way. There’s an art in describing a ridiculous person or thing without being insulting. Mark Twain was a master at it. Read up!


17, 21



Concussion testing - baseline


15



Resentment is a sign you are giving too much and are in need of replenishment. It’s a good example of how even the “negative” emotions are on your side, interpreting your experience in the world.


16, 18, 21



Ask yourself "What kind of man do I want to be?"


14-21



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.


12, 14, 16. 18, 21



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Creepy is as creepy does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do. If you don’t want to be a creep then don’t f*cking act like one. People have a right to live their lives without being intruded upon. Don’t lurk, if you want to get to know someone tell them. Invite them to do something together or just hang out. If they’re not interested then drop it. You can ask again only if they have clearly signaled they changed their mind. (Which is more likely to happen if you respect their boundaries.)


13, 16, 19, 21



It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.


16



You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.


10, 13, 16, 21



“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey


19



“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)


21



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Begin to teach self-policing. There are plenty of good things that I want them to be able to partake in (alcohol, a trip to Vegas, etc.) but alcohol and gambling are just a few of the things that can sneak up and take hold and RUIN your life if you don’t know how to self-limit. Respect the potential danger and be vigilant. keep re-ticketing and repeat yearly (age-appropriate)


11



Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21



To my boys: Personally I believe the boy / man should pay when out on a date. Always be prepared to pay - but sometimes a girl / woman wants to pay or split the check. Don’t push back on that. Make sure she knows it would be your pleasure to pay because you want to show her a good time and spoil her, but that you understand that paying a check doesn’t put her in your debt. Instead, your motto should be “If you’re comfortable, I’m comfortable.” And that goes for a lot of categories including sex/ physical contact. And to my girls: Always be prepared to pay, offer to pay often. It’s a sad fact that some men feel they’re owed something if they spring for dinner. On a date you are never obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to. Never.


16, 21



A person’s friends are a reflection of their character. Pick friends who you can be yourself around. Look for partners who have close friendships, a circle of friends who think highly of them.


14, 17, 21



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.


17, 21



Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



Instead of focusing on finding love, focus on DOING what you love. When you're thriving and in your element Love will find YOU. Besides, love isn't just about finding the right person it's about being the right person.


17-19



“For better or worse means no matter what life throws at us, not no matter what you do to me.” - Brenda Linn


19, 21



When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.


20



Sponsor a child in a developing country. Write letters, learn about their country and their life.


8



What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.


1



Book “8 Candles and a Tree” about celebrating interfaith holidays.


7