Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



You don’t have to choose to be single forever to enjoy being single for now.


17, 21



When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?” Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.


7, 12, 15, 21



Help them develop a positive attitude. http://www.momentsaday.com/10-activities-help-young-children-develop-a-positive-attitude/


5



Read "A Wrinkle in Time" (me too.)


10



Get talking. Trade off likes, fears, hopes, dreams, pet peeves, etc. I like... I get mad when... I dream about... It makes me sad when I see... I’m afraid of... I wonder about...


4, 8, 14



Paying extra for organic isn’t always worth it but I ALWAYS buy organic apples. They taste better and don’t have the pesticides, etc.


18



“God is gentle and loving. He desires you to have a deep sense of safety in His love.” - paraphrasing Henri Nouwen


16



Start explaining wants vs. needs. Continue explaining for the next 30 years. We don’t always get what we want. That’s okay. 4 year olds can begin to understand this.


4



Someone I admire is __________. Talk about someone you admire and why. Ask them to do the same. Do this often as you can. Reticket through age 18.


4



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.


2,3,4



My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.


13, 15, 21



Ditch the serving bowls, plates, tablecloth and utensils. Cover middle of table in tinfoil for the food. Give each kid a tinfoil placemat in lieu of a plate. Let them eat with their fingers. (Works great with spaghetti, chicken, ribs, shrimp, etc. Try it with ice-cream and cake for a birthday party!


3-6



There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.


Infant



Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.


14



It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.


1Infant-14



Ask them to think of foods that taste good and also foods that make them feel good. Involve them in lunchbox decisions, dinner planning and prep, etc. so they’re empowered by their food habits.


6-9



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


9-11



Being numb is not the same thing as being happy.


15-18



Great article about teaching young kids how to do better than “I’m sorry” when they’ve caused another child pain. https://offspring.lifehacker.com/what-to-say-to-little-kids-instead-of-say-sorry-1819288365?fbclid=IwAR0bKgo60isKj6a5D2s3cs1leWCIyK9TXTBK62upV9U1S_bR0otfJndwg_k


3, 8



If you get comfortable telling little lies it will be easier to tell big lies. Tell the truth, even on small matters. (Except if your friends ask if they look fat. Then it’s okay to lie!)


13, 18, 21



Chemistry is not the same thing as compatibility.


16, 19, 21



Introduction to 70’s Southern Rock. Skynyrd, Allman Bros, etc.


14



ALWAYS pee before you sit down to nurse a baby.


Infant-1



Visit the Grand Canyon together


18-21



Everybody emits energy. What sort of energy do you want to put out into the universe? Your thoughts, actions, prayers, struggles, laughter, etc. that’s all you. Your energy is all your own. Spend some time thinking about what kind of aura to want to have.


17



Just put your best foot forward and get on with it!


14, 17, 21



There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20