Happiness comes from giving and helping, not buying and having.


14, 19



Look into a class for meditation for kids. I read an article on a Baltimore elementary school that replaced detention with meditation and had amazing success.


6



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


7-18



Be mindful of the patterns we’re falling into as a family. Teach them to be mindful of their patterns too.


6, 8, 12, 18



Check in on your friends. Even the ones that seem fine.


14-21



Listen to albums. Two of my favorites came out the very same month: Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé and The Tortured Poets Department by Taylor Swift.


12



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



Don’t be afraid of work.


12, 17, 21



Jon Stewart talking about Bruce Springsteen at Kennedy Center Honors: “I didn’t understand his music for a long time. I didn’t understand it until I learned what it is to yearn.” That’s why art hits you differently at different ages. You filter the art through the lens of your life experience.


15, 21



Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.


9



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



What does it mean to grow up? Sacrifice- When you put someone else’s needs before your own. Responsibility- When you can be counted on to do what’s right and also to do what has to be done. Trustworthiness- You keep your word.Sincerity - You are true to yourself and don’t pretend in order to fit in. It’s about choices and actions and deciding what you value and then building a life around those values.


18



Invest in a laminator, a label maker and a glue gun. You’ll be glad you did!


5



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



vaccinate! Science is good.


0, 1, 2, 3, 5



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Sign up for typing class. (Keyboarding)


13



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13



Learn to recognize invitations from the Lord - invitations to look at beauty. Invitations for compassion, for learning and for love.


9-15



“Whenever you think that some situation or some person is ruining your life, it’s actually you who are ruining your life. It’s such a simple idea. Feeling like a victim is a perfectly disastrous way to make go through life.” — Charlie Munger


13, 15, 19, 21



I wrestle with leaving the church but I want to save you a lifetime of feelings of unworthiness. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re not good enough. We all battle those kinds of insecurities, so the last thing we need is to be taught that God thinks it too. Know that in reality we are all precious, down to the subatomic level. So when you think you’re unworthy, shake it off! You belong in every room you enter.


13, 15, 21



Read Moth by Amber McBride. Young adult fiction in verse about grief. Twists and turns.


15



Small joys are what gets you through big grief.


14, 18, 21



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



My theory is that it’s pointless to chase love. You’ll never catch it. Focus on DOING what you love. When you’re being who you’re meant to be, you’ll find the one you’re meant to love. That way, love chases YOU! And love always wins. ❤️


16



Let decency be like a religion to you. Practice it …but don’t preach it.


14



Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing. Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.


12, 16, 20



There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.


18