Your spouse will be absolutely unbearable roughly 10% of the time. So will you be, by the way. Give grace. Receive it too. Also, physical distance helps, even for a few hours.


“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)


Let decency be like a religion to you. Practice it …but don’t preach it.


My biggest mistake was thinking that my life had to follow a singular path: college, marriage, kids, stay at home mom. I never imagined any other path: career, travel. I never questioned my assumptions. Never doubted that my way was the only path to happiness. It wouldn’t have occurred to my parents to teach me anything else, to encourage me to imagine a hundred different choices. But I’d like to encourage you. Take your talents, interests, passion, and potential out for a spin. See what sits right with you, where you feel most alive and most safe and most yourself. Feed your body, mind, heart and soul. I love you so much.

18, 21

One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.

11, 12, 13

That uneasy, uncomfortable or even downright painful feeling you get when you’re faced with something that challenges you ... resist the urge to run away from it. Take a breath and just sit with it for a minute. That feeling you’re feeling is growth. Growth always hurts a little bit. Give yourself a beat to get adjusted before you decide if you want to stay or turn back.

7, 11, 14, 18, 21

Relationships can end beautifully and bravely. They’re not all going to be forever. It’s much better to grieve the end of a relationship than to endure an unhealthy one.

15, 19, 21

My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.

13, 15, 21

Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.


Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.

14-17, 21

When it comes to conflict- what is your part in things?

15, 21

Notre Dame Lullabies by the O’Neil Brothers is my favorite album ever. I used to play it at your bedtime when u were a baby and even sometimes when you were a kid. It reminds me of the happiest time of my life, when you came into it. Play it for me when I’m old and gray, okay?




Practice making yourself do something you don’t feel like doing. Practice and it gets easier

10, 12, 15, 18, 21

“Anger is a wonderful catalyst but a terrible companion.” - Brene Brown

15, 21

People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.

17, 21

Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.

14, 16, 20

Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


Adult whining is worse than kid whining! We all have unpleasant comments to say in every day life, but do your best to keep snarky comments to yourself. Be mindful of what you're putting out there.


What does entitlement mean to you? I think it means the assumption that we are owed something simply by virtue of who we are rather than what we’ve earned.


Just because I forgive you, it doesn’t mean I trust you. Trust has to be earned.

15, 18, 21

“When happy, be kind. When sad, be kind. When ever…be kind.” - Cory Booker

9, 12, 15, 19, 21

Unkind people are unhappy people.

8, 18

Give people the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, assign the best possible motive to their actions.


Best take on parenting: “My kid is never gonna not feel safe with me.”

1, 5, 10, 15

Invest in a laminator, a label maker and a glue gun. You’ll be glad you did!


Live a life of dignity and joy.

14, 21

Encourage creativity, science and engineering: Make a craft station / work bench for projects. Fill it with all kinds of art supplies, engineering kits, tools, pegboard, etc. Stock safety equipment like goggles and make sure the area has good lighting. Lots of ideas on Pinterest, etc.


Don’t bring a complaint without offering a solution.

17, 19, 21

Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.