Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



Alka-Seltzer is great for a hangover or even better, take it before you go to bed after partying. Disclaimer I’m talking about a few drinks. For the love of everything holy, please don’t ingest insane amounts of alcohol at a time. Buzzed is fun, drunk is stupid. And dangerous. Never drive once you’ve had a drink or weed.


18



Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.


9-15



The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.


17, 20



Practice "shaking off the sleepy." It's hard to wake up when your body is screaming for more sleep. If you practice, you'll get better. Get up, get in the shower and shake off the sleepy. It works!


6, 7, 13-15



Don’t worry about finding your person. Focus on finding your people.


15, 21



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Anything can be an opportunity for you to grow if you approach it with the right mindset. “What can I learn” “How can I turn this into a way to advance my goals?” I know, it’s kinda corny but it’s true. Your attitude is everything.


8, 10, 14, 18, 21



Sometimes it happens that what you do [for a living] is who you are. I’m reading a great book about that called The Women by Kristin Hannah.


16, 20, 21



Look into Rustic Pathways to see the world and do some good.


15



1

You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.


15



On marriage: Your spouse will change. You will change. Some for the better, some parts for the worse. Tastes, plans, health, body shape, education, needs, beliefs... all change throughout our lives. It’s growth. (It’s also decay!) Support each other through both. Encourage each other to be true to yourselves. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Pray for each other. Have fun together. Keep learning about each other. Be your partner’s biggest fan.


21



Get book “Talk to Me First: Everything You Need to Know to Become Your Kids'Go-To Person about Sex.” by Deborah Roffman.


7



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Give books. Inscribe them. Just a line or two can turn a good book into a treasure. Great for any occasion.


17



I’m cool with “C”s. Do good work but don’t put too much pressure yourself.


14



Attend a school board meeting or some sort of government meeting. Attend / participate.


13



“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa


16, 21



Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy


15



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



At the hospital? Always confirm your name and date of birth and why you’re there.


16



“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)


10, 12, 16



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.


12, 13, 16



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



Just let them be who they are. Enjoy getting to know them.


1-21