Never give unsolicited advice. Instead ask “How can I best support you?”


14, 20



Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.


12, 15, 19



Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.


14-20



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Make a Shutterfly book for each year and give it to them on their birthday.


5-18



We all want to be liked. But consider what you’re willing to *not* be liked for: If things like kindness and loyalty and being genuinely yourself *cost* you friends, is that a bad thing? Were they really friends then? Try not to do or say anything simply out of a desire to be liked.


11, 13, 16, 21



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5



"Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves." - Ben Franklin This works with money and with other areas: Be faithful in the little things and the bigger things will take care of themselves. For example, if you don't get comfortable with telling little lies then you'll never tell big lies.


9, 13, 19



Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.


15, 21



Appalachian Mountain Club


9-13



Practice real-life mental math: Calculate time / age: If someone was born in 1994 how old are they today? Make change in your head: Cost is 14.27, how much change do you have if you give the cashier 20 bucks? Calculate percentages: tips, tax brackets, sales!!


12, 14, 20



Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.


4-7



Talk about how to speak up for themselves and others.


1Infant-12, 16, 21



It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.


19



open your own business


20



6 luxuries in life: 1. time 2. health 3. a quiet mind 4. slow mornings 5. ability to travel 6. house full of love -jade bonacolta


15, 21



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Jam is an incredible resource of fun learning activities and projects in a safe online environment. Ages 6-16.


6



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



Fire drills. Practice what to do, where to go if the house is on fire. Have an escape plan.


5-10



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



take advantage of the bike trail. Bike places as a family.


11



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

Water park for fifth birthday


10



Don’t go to sleep on a full stomach.


10, 15, 17, 19



A useful opening line in a conversation (personal, parenting or professional) is “What should I know about ...”. It shows you understand you have something to learn, and it makes people feel valued. “What should I know about what’s going on at football practice?”


14



Follow your dreams…not your boyfriend’s.


16



Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)


10, 13, 16, 19, 21



There is a cost and a duty to everything we own. Rachel Maddow


16