To avoid miscommunication and misplaced expectations, tell your partner what you need from them. But if what you need is for them to be a different person, that’s not fair to them or to you. Let them go and set about finding the right person.
18, 20
Get up early on a Saturday and go downtown. See how fun it is to be up before the rest of the world.
7-9
Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.
1,2
Sex isn’t something you “score.” It’s not a competition. Whether the encounter is casual or within a committed relationship it’s something that is shared.
16, 19, 20
Quoting Glennon Doyle: “Things can feel hard and sad and still be exactly right, all at the same time.” She’s referring to her divorce but the sentiment applies to all kinds of tough choices that we all make. Very few choices feel 100% right.
17
Start something new and let yourself revel in being bad at it. Paint badly, dance badly, write badly, play badly. Keep at it, and don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually you’ll be good at it!
15, 21
Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.
18, 19, 21
I don’t want you to do drugs. It could hurt or $@!#% you. If you get caught doing drugs it could hurt your academic record
12, 15, 18
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Look for answers where truth, laughter, kindness, beauty, compassion and love are found. (Not in outward appearances or illusions of perfection. Not in cynicism, apathy or destructiveness.)
10, 13, 16, 19, 21
Don’t be a mooch! Contribute: To your home, your relationships, your work, your community, your church, your country, the world. Think about how much you get from all these things. It’s so much more from all these things than you could ever pay back, but that doesn’t mean you don’t try. Dig in and contribute wherever you can. Never free-load. That’s not who we are. Be brave and contribute your talent, treasure or whatever you can. Duty and compassion both demand it.
11-18
Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.
10, 14, 21
When things get scary, look for the helpers. This is true in physical crises and existential ones. SCOTUS just passed down a few truly horrifying rulings, including reversing Roe v Wade. I’m disheartened in all that’s going on, but was reminded to look for the helpers, the activists, etc. Look for them…and join them.
10, 15, 21
Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.
4-7
Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.
15, 18. 21
Drill on stuff that will be valuable throughout their lifetime: Vocabulary, geography, addition and subtraction.
10, 12, 14, 20
Teach your pets they can trust you. Take care of them. Treat them with tenderness. Teach them how to behave. (Unless it's a cat. You can't teach cats anything.)
15
“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)
10, 12, 16
When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.
14
Set up a 529 plan. Virginia has a great plan if you don't want to do too much research https://www.savingforcollege.com/
birth-age 3