Make an album Or Shutterfly book about Mom and Dad’s wedding and marriage. Stress themes of love, kindness, sacrifice, shared values and putting the other first. Talk about managing conflict in a loving relationship doesn’t mean never fighting but it does mean fighting fair. Make it an annual tradition to read through it and talk about marriage on their anniversary. (The next best thing to modeling a happy marriage.
Questions
1. How did you fail today?
2. What did you learn?
3. What do you love about yourself?
4. Name something you’re grateful for.
5. How are you in service to others?
6. Did you feel God’s presence today?
7. Are you happy in your heart?
8. What is something that scares you?
9. What do you need to feel safe and supported?
10. What’s something you like doing that makes your heart happy?
When you begin dating it’s all butterflies and moonbeams. Eventually you’re going to do or say something that hurts the other person and vice versa. For that matter, eventually you’ll disagree about something. It’s VERY important to consider how they handle it. Nobody is perfect, it may not be pretty but it had better be civil. If not, don’t think for a second that they will change. Get outta there.
Keep your pants on until you (and your partner) are at least 18. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are drunk. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are not 100% enthusiastic about going farther.
Pretty much everything boils down to looking for love, its many forms. Look in good (creative) places. Avoid looking for love in bad (destructive) places.
On grief: CS Lewis said somewhere that it isn’t just that his friend died, it’s that the part of him that only his friend could bring out would never be brought out again.
Don’t offer them advice until you ask questions: What does a good outcome here look like for you? How much energy are you willing to put into this? Do you feel like you’re being asked to sacrifice a part of who you are if you do this? Is the fear you’re feeling maybe just that initial reaction we all get when something is new and unfamiliar? Stuff like that. Mostly they just need help understanding themselves and encouragement to stay true to themselves.
Uplift your friends and surround yourself with friends who uplift you. In person and online. Encourage each other to let your lights shine brightly. Never bully or steal someone’s joy.
Change always brings feelings of unease. It’s easy to confuse that feeling of unease with the feeling that something must be wrong. Give yourself time to adjust before deciding if a new thing is bad..
Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.
Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!