If you don’t have the words, borrow them. Send a song or a poem. As long as the sentiment is yours, the vowels and consonants don’t need to be.
13, 16. 21
Start a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
8
Curiosity is life-giving while judgement is soul-sucking. Get curious about yourself and others. Wonder why, try to understand without judging.
12, 16, 20
Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.
14
"Dollar Store Engineering Kit:" Popsicle sticks, pool noodles, pipe cleaners, straws, light sticks, cups, etc. ALSO LOOK FOR Styrofoam gliders, Styrofoam balls, science kits, candy for candy structures, seasonal or holiday themes. Pinterest has a ton of great ideas for STEM activities.
7
It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.
18, 21
Ability is distributed equally across all demographics, geniuses, artists, musicians etc. are not more likely to be born in a rich community-but they are far more likely to emerge from one with their gift’s having been nurtured. Ability is evenly distributed but accessibility is not. How many lives could be saved if the brilliant surgeon never gets to college? It’s a core mission of mine to do my part to help change that so that all children can realize their dreams if they work for it. No locked gates!
12, 18, 21
May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo
9, 14, 21
If you don’t have anything intelligent to say on a subject it’s fine (encouraged) to say nothing. Listen. Learn.
20
Motivation: Just start. Two minutes. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good.
16
Teach them about Oliver Cromwell’s rule: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” Leave room for your mind to be changed by new evidence or perspective.
14
Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.
14-21
Great career advice from tv producer Tara Schuster: Be the best at the worst job. You’re a lowly intern, you’re not gonna get asked to sit down with the boss and strategize. But say the boss likes coffee, and the office coffee machine is unreliable. Fix the machine. Keep it in tip-top condition. Make a contribution to the company in small ways, consistent with your level of ability (which at this age is low low low. NO ONE likes a 20-something who thinks he/ she knows it all. Or knows anything really.) Listen, learn, anticipate needs and surpass expectations doing the little things. Be polite, kind, ethical. Be on time (early.) Yes, compete but also help others look good and succeed. NEVER never trash-talk a colleague, client, boss or subordinate. Don’t suck-up either. Mostly just listen, work, make yourself useful wherever you can. And have fun. You’re gonna do great, bunny.
18, 20
Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.
14
Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.
15, 19
Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)
20
Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.
15, 17, 20, 21
The app "Bark" detects messaging containing cyber-bullying, sexting, signs of depression or suicidal thoughts, etc.
11