Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Practice these skills: Love yourself Respect yourself Value yourself Enjoy yourself


4, 6, 8, 12, 15, 17, 21



Let people do what they want to do so you can see what they’d rather do.


16



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21



Watch the news together. Local and national. Today Show has both of mornings are easier than evenings.


12, 13, 14, 15



Happiness, beauty, health, fun, success: define for yourself what each of those things mean. People and society are gonna try and convince you to share their definitions…don’t let them.


13, 15, 17, 21



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.


11, 14, 17



1

School shootings are a result of blind rage and complete hopelessness. First, ban the f*cking guns. But we need to teach our kids how to handle big emotions. To expect them, how learning to navigate them is like learning to fly an F16. It will be tough, yes but you will learn how to fly expertly, safely, and with your own style and flair.


12-15



Frustrated with school or work? It bothers you because you care or you hurt. That’s human.


14



Beautiful girls don’t exist for your pleasure. They’re not there for you. They, like you, exist to find out what it is to be alive in their body in this lifetime and to learn what makes them feel most like themself. They’re here, like you, to grow into themselves, to enjoying being alive, to marvel in creation with all its beauty and tragedy, injustices, banality and thrills. No one, friend or foe is an object for your experience


14, 16, 19, 21



If you can’t afford to tip the server, you can’t afford to be there.


15



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



This Coda is my creation. It’s what I wanted to accomplish as a parent. What you do with it is entirely up to you. I hope you never feel like you have to do the same. Make your own way. Make yourself proud. If you’re happy, I’m happy.


21



Be protective, never be possessive. watch out for your friends’ well-being, their good names, that’s what friends do. But friends don’t try to manipulate someone’s feelings, thoughts or actions.Same goes for romantic relationships.


10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 18, 21



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



The most important things I can teach you is how to love and be loved


14, 19, 21



Ask him to memorize and recite William Ernest Henley poem “Invictus” as a Christmas present for me.


15



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Things are rarely black and white. Most situations (and all people) are complex. A nuanced approach is necessary to understand them. You can’t learn - or love, if you’re judging.


17



“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



When you feel like you’re on fire with anger or fear, if you can’t shake it, put that fire to good use.


14



Poems are great tools to help them to read, recite, practice handwriting, and illustrate.


7