When someone introduces themselves as transgender, it’s no big deal. Simply say “nice to meet you” or “cool.” Then politely ask “What are your pronouns?” And then you know how they prefer to be addressed.


13



Toddler not interested in food? Hand them a random kitchen gadget to play with while you’re feeding them dinner, they’ll eat more if distracted.


1,2



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



The thing about hiding is you’re always worried you’ll be see, caught, or found out. It takes a toll. I hope you never hide from who you are, or feel like you have to fake it to be liked. I will always accept you as you are, and I hope to raise you so you accept yourself (and others) as well.


14,17



When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.


16



Build a backyard adventure camp


8



Read blog post from Parent's Corner: The Letter Your Teenager Can't Write You By Gretchen Schmelzer June 23, 2015


13-17



Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.


14, 19, 21



Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!


11-14



My favorite Chinese food order is chicken Kung Pao, shrimp fried rice and beef lo mein. That way we all get a little of each meat.


16



If there’s a ever a bird in the house, close the interior doors, open the doors to the outside and shoo it out with a broom.


18



Blessing for the Brokenhearted: Poem by Jan Richardson ___________ "There is no remedy for love but to love more." – Henry David Thoreau ________________________ ________________________ Let us agree for now that we will not say the breaking makes us stronger or that it is better to have this pain than to have done without this love. __________Let us promise we will not tell ourselves time will heal the wound, when every day our waking opens it anew. ___________Perhaps for now it can be enough to simply marvel at the mystery of how a heart so broken can go on beating, as if it were made for precisely this— as if it knows the only cure for love is more of it, as if it sees the heart’s sole remedy for breaking is to love still, as if it trusts that its own persistent pulse is the rhythm of a blessing we cannot begin to fathom but will save us nonetheless.


20



Don’t be “too” sure of yourself. There’s always a chance you could be wrong, so be open to what others are saying and consider the possibility they could be right. They very easily could know stuff you don’t. Their experience could be a lot different from yours, so just be careful of insisting you’re right.


15, 21



Look into Kano (make your own computer)


7-11



We don’t always get what we want. Sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we go without it. Sometimes when we DO get what we wanted it looks different than how we imagined it would. AND IT’S OK. We’re ok. The world keeps turning! That’s a huge lesson and a valuable one. Practice “pushing the snooze button” on wants. Enlist their help. “I understand you want ____. Would this be something you could snooze or do without?”


5, 10, 20



“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.


1-5



Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.


16, 18, 21



In marriage there will be times or occasions when one of you will be “pilot” and the other “copilot” (depending on skills, abilities, circumstances, etc.) Both pilot and copilot are good! But never be a “passenger” in a relationship.


21



Do not be daunted at the world’s grief. Do justly now. Love Mercy now. Walk humbly now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it. -The Talmud


15



The kindest person in the room may not necessarily be the smartest. But the cruelest person is always the dumbest.


10, 15, 21



Send them outside with an age-appropriate pair of scissors and have them “give the grass a haircut.” Fine motor skills!


2-4



Be a safe place. Teach them to be a safe place too.


12



Check out Harmonia School on Mill St Music Art Theatre


6



Change “I need to” to “this matters because”. Instead of “I need to walk the dog” say “it matters that I walk the dog because he needs exercise and to check p-mail.” (Helps!)


8, 11, 16, 21



The things we invite to protect us take their job seriously. They will not abandon the watch without a fight to the death. So be careful, very careful about what u invite as armor. Please don’t place your trust in drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, working, disconnecting, etc. Put your trust in that which is creative, honest, loving, beautiful, interesting, inspiring, challenging or peaceful. These things make much better bodyguards, and they will never turn on you.


13, 16, 20



Speak up when it’s called for: Fight injustice, stand up for others, etc. but shut the F up if you’re thinking about offering an unsolicited opinion or advice about anything you’re not personally an expert in.


12, 16



“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life, so you need to make choices. And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of who you are.” -Mr. Rogers


15



Getting your drivers license will depend not only on government requirements (age, passing tests, etc.) but also maturity and trustworthiness.


14



Putting up the Christmas tree the weekend or next after Thanksgiving, then watching Polar Express in the glow of the lights. Maybe the smell of gingerbread cookies baking too.


5-9