Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.


14, 18, 21



“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.


15



Watch Parts Unknown together.


14-16



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Re-Read "Girls and Sex: Navigating the New Landscape" by Peggy Orenstein.


13



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

Make a separate piggie bank together for money to donate. Talk about how we manage what we have thoughtfully: Save some, spend some, donate some.


5-8



Healing takes time. You can't rush it. Whether it's your body, your mind or your heart that's hurting... you just have to let it heal in its own time. What you CAN do is to take good care of yourself: eat, rest, stay close to loved ones. Do things that bring you joy. Revel in the smallest steps forward. You'll heal, things will get better. Trust. Love. Serve. Live.


20



Drunken shenanigans are part of life when you’re in college, etc. but it gets old fast. That kind of behavior as an adult is just sad. Drink responsibly. Don’t make an $@!#% out of yourself. I recommend this rule: Don’t have more than one drink at a work function.


21



Gambling is a very tricky thing. It can get out of hand easily because of how the brain works. That initial “rush” of excitement starts to burn pathways, and causes chemical reactions that need to be fed more and more. Before you know it you’re gambling more often and with more money, trying to achieve that rush. Be very, very careful with gambling. Gambling casinos and online gaming know this and they exploit it to make TONS of money. It’s a scam. Avoid gambling all together or step away very early.


16, 18, 19, 21



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



change the wifi password often. Hold it hostage until chores are done. Work first, play later.


9-14



Stop before you descend too far into the pain. Let yourself be loved. Rest. Eat. Shower. Breath. Sweat. Sing.


10, 11, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



Staying calm while under pressure or when you could scream in frustration - that is most of the battle. Sometimes the fact that you stayed calm qualifies as a win.


16, 21



Let's find little ways to practice self-control and build that muscle.


11



1

Super good-looking people often don’t develop good people skills because they’ve been able to get by on their looks. Listen! Beauty fades. Get curious about people who don’t necessarily catch your eye right away.


16, 19, 21



Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



“The Guy in the Glass” poem by Dale Wimbrow_______ When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,__ And the world makes you King for a day,___ Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,___ And see what that guy has to say. ____ For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,____ Who judgement upon you must pass. The feller whose verdict counts most in your life____ Is the guy staring back from the glass. He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest, For he’s with you clear up to the end, And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend. You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum, And think you’re a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.


15



Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.


11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21



A lesson from author Tom Zumba. I hope you’ll never need it: “There is nothing nothing easy about this thing called grief. Nothing. But I ask you to please please please say yes more often than you say no. Say yes to you. To possibility. To hope. To love. To life. To healing. Please choose the light more often than you choose the darkness. Not that there aren't gifts in the darkness. There are. But it's often so much easier to find them the gifts in the light. Do all you can to stay in the light. Please remember that the person you love so so so dearly lived. Don't forget that. He lived. She lived. Here with you. And your relationship continues. Always. Don't be so overwhelmed and paralyzed and pissed off that he died that she died that you spend most of your time focusing on their death. Focus on your life. Together. Say yes as often as you can. Choose light as often as you can. Remember that he lived as often as you can. Don't lose her in the details of her death. This thing called grief is hard hard hard work. But you are stronger than you think. His book is called Permission to Mourn


21



Keep your pants on until you (and your partner) are at least 18. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are drunk. Keep your pants on if you or your partner are not 100% enthusiastic about going farther.


15



Help him write a letter to someone in power if he has a question or concern about something he sees going on in the world.


7-11



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



You always have a choice. Always.


15, 19, 21



All behavior is communication.


2-6



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



Sometimes our bodies can betray us. Something goes wrong and healthy cells are replaced with broken cells: Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, auto-immune diseases, etc. Mental health can become diseased too: Depression, anxiety, compulsive behavior, suicidal thoughts. The very good news is that good medical care is available for all of these things. That, along with the love and support of family and friends helps our bodies to heal. Physical illness is obvious. Sometimes people keep their mental pain a secret. Please promise me you’ll never keep any pain you’re going through a secret.


13



Love isn’t enough but it’s a great start.


21