Protect women from gross men: First, don’t be gross. Second, resist the urge to go along with the pack when they get gross. Third, and this is going to take courage, tell them to knock that sh*t off. Never make a girl feel uncomfortable to get a laugh. It’s not funny, it’s scary and demeaning and will teach her you can’t be trusted.
10, 14, 17, 21
Being well-read is better (and cheaper) than an advanced degree, especially for broader education. Stay curious and read!! Fiction, non-fiction, biographies ...
15, 18, 21
It’s not a project, it’s a practice. (Health, fitness, keeping up with current events, prayer or meditation, housework, reading, etc.)
16
Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.
4
Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior
16
My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.
18
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.
21
Give baby a banana before bed and they’ll sleep through the night. (Obviously once they’re on solid food.)
1
“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey
19
Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.
12
Your body will go through all sorts of shapes and sizes. You’ll have times when you’re gorgeous and times when you’re awkward or frumpy. Whether you’re having a great hair day or sporting a face full of angry pimples, your looks have never and will never define your worth. (And nobody else will ever be defined by theirs.)
13, 15, 21
If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!
15, 17, 21
YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.
12, 15, 16
• you can't make anyone love you • not every relationship is meant to last forever • sometimes two good people can make one bad relationship.
16-20
Set up a dog agility course in the backyard. Use household items or toys, etc and lots of dog treats for training.
8
There are a lot of people I care about. But I’ve decided there are only four whose opinion of me I care about: My kid, my god, myself and my dog.
18
College: you’re gonna do great! You’re also probably gonna want to quit at some point during your first year. Totally normal. If you decide college isn’t for you or now isn’t the right time, okay. But give it a year if you can. You’ll thank yourself later.
17
Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.
12-21
Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)
19
They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)
3