My ballet teacher used to punish us by making us sit on the floor and hold our arms up. It hurts! But you learn how to sit with pain. You learn how to endure and how to use your mind to make your muscles really don’t want to do.


14, 20



Even when something’s not the right fit (job interview, blind date, audition, etc.) you’re still making connections. You never know what could happen, so stay engaged and be yourself. Maybe that blind date who’s not into you has a friend who might be. Maybe that casting director will call you for a totally different role. Chin up! Ride the positive vibes you put out into the universe.


12,18, 21



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



What does entitlement mean to you? I think it means the assumption that we are owed something simply by virtue of who we are rather than what we’ve earned.


10



Be open to the possibility that you might be wrong.


12, 14, 17, 21



Have them practice making trade offs based on their financial priorities. For example: Pedicure or movie?


9



We all want to be liked. But consider what you’re willing to *not* be liked for: If things like kindness and loyalty and being genuinely yourself *cost* you friends, is that a bad thing? Were they really friends then? Try not to do or say anything simply out of a desire to be liked.


11, 13, 16, 21



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



One of my favorite things is the smell of celery and onion being sautéed in butter. It’s the smell I woke up to on so many Thanksgiving mornings as my mom was making the stuffing.


21



Sit down together and write house rules on anger. We don’t hit or bite. Do we yell and slam doors? Name-call? Say “I don’t love you” ? Bad words? What’s appropriate anger and what’s unacceptable?


4-6



6 luxuries in life: 1. time 2. health 3. a quiet mind 4. slow mornings 5. ability to travel 6. house full of love -jade bonacolta


15, 21



Read The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig.


4



Spend time with people you admire. Real-life acquaintances, biographies and documentaries, and fictional characters in novels, plays and movies.


13, 15, 18, 21



Be mindful of privilege. Discuss the concept, point it out where you see it.


11-18



1

There’s a lot of virtue to the “Let them” theory of parenting. It’s their life. Drop out of school? Not what I would want, but as long as I’ve had my say, the decision is theirs to make. The mess will be theirs too, but that’s just life. Stop trying to control everyone and everything. Give yourself and everyone else a break and as long as it’s nothing harmful, let them. Don’t try to bend them to your will, and keep your opinions to yourself.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18



No dating while unstable. Being responsible for someone’s heart means being prepared to treat them with respect at all times, regardless of whether they make you angry, jealous, annoyed, rejected, humiliated or heartbroken. If (a) you don’t think those things could happen or (b) think there’s a reasonable chance you’d lose your temper, then you’re not ready. And that’s okay! You’ll get there in your own time. In the meantime stay off the market.


12, 14, 16, 18, 21



Golf lessons. Grampa loved golf, if he were here he would have taught you himself.


9



No matter how successful you become you’re still expected to act with integrity and respect.


14, 18, 21



“All the best things in life live on the other side of fear.” - Will Smith’s grandmother.


20



Worry less about molding them and focus on loving them.


2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Rock those babies to sleep as often as you can.


0, 1, 2



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



“The next generation never learns anything from the previous one until it’s brought home like a hammer.” - Harry Truman


13, 16, 21



Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.


14, 18, 21



Keep going. Push yourself. The struggle makes it all the more worth it.


17, 21



Change is scary. But scary doesn’t equal bad. I don’t know what it’s going to look like but I know you will figure it out. You’re going to be okay no matter what curveballs you’re faced with. Stay calm. Be kind and respectful to everyone and every thing, including (especially) yourself. xoxo


5, 10, 15, 20, 21



Just love them. With all your might, them for who they are, and where they are. Forget about the other stuff.


15



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little b*^tch and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers


13, 21



It’s fine, great, to be thrifty. But please don’t be cheap. Hard-earned money should neither be squandered or hoarded. Enjoy your success! But save more than you’re comfortable with. It’s like my running coach used to say: Keep going until you feel like you’re gonna poop your pants, then push yourself to do another mile. Point is, it should hurt a little.


16, 21