Every time your heart breaks, your vision gets better. You appreciate beauty and recognize and respond to others’ pain better.
12, 15, 18, 21
“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.
15
Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.
4-11
There is an expression “God only gives you what you can handle.” I think that’s backwards. I think that God gives you the grace you need to handle whatever comes your way. He is faithful and generous. I think that’s what “Be not afraid” means.
17
Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.
15-17
Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)
20
You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)
10
Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)
11
Remember that your tend to act like/ think like the people you hang around most. Choose your friends (and your spouse) wisely.
10, 14, 21
Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain
18, 21
You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.
10, 13, 16, 21
Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.
17
Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.
14, 18
You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.
14, 17, 21
Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.
2,3,4
No matter how successful you become you’re still expected to act with integrity and respect.
14, 18, 21
Look for examples of people who have dealt with loss without giving in to bitterness. What do they have in common?
17
Learn how to quiet your demons / that voice that tells you you’re not good enough. Great resource is Dan Harris’ 2022 TED talk.
14, 19, 21
Trust fall. Learn to be vulnerable. You can’t say the wrong thing to the right person.
12, 16, 19, 21
Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.
7
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21