You're about to come into a ton of energy and strength. It will seem like a lot to manage at first, but you'll get used to it and learn to use it constructively. Push your limits (within reason.) Challenge yourself.


13



Do something that feeds your soul every day. Experience or create joy, even if just a small spark of it.


17



Don’t let someone have to tell you twice that they don’t want you. Nothing good comes from hanging on after that.


15, 21



Avoid the tendency to obsess over someone. It’s not romantic, it’s self-destructive. You’re worth more than that.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



“Enthusiasm is the answer to everything.” - Rodrigo’s father


15, 21



Don’t use a bad word when you can use a good word.


10



There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, that's way too simple, even trite. But without discounting the real pain you might be experiencing in a moment of crisis, I encourage you to embrace that sentiment. You can't forget about the problem, but you can change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord.


15



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Look into a class for meditation for kids. I read an article on a Baltimore elementary school that replaced detention with meditation and had amazing success.


6



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Dream big. Work hard.


18



Don’t play hard to get. Be hard to earn.


16, 21



Read Harry Potter series to him / with him.


9-10



“Your goals will kick you in the shins and steal your lunch money.” -Jon Acuff. You have to fight back, even though some days you lose. Failure is part of the process. Keep going.


19



"Surround yourself with people who trust and get YOU." - Josh Groban, High Point University 2018 commencement address. Note, I love that quote because it speaks to having a tribe, a close group of friends. But it's also important to surround yourself with people who challenge you, who may not agree with you or have the same perspective as you do.


14-19



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7



Life is difficult...Focus on the joy.


16, 20



Listen to books of love letters. I forget the title but one of the Bush twins wrote a book about her grandparents (George and Barbara). Stories about real love, real life. Fiction is great too but having a real world examples of happy partnerships is gold.


18



One of the funny/sensitive things about puberty is that kids can be the same age chronologically while being wildly varied in terms of development. Kid might be 6 feet tall in seventh grade or be a senior in high school and still not shaving. Everyone is self conscious, praying to avoid embarrassment. It’s all just part of growing up. Be kind to yourself and to your equally mortified peers.


11, 12, 13



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.


13



“I need help. But I don’t know what I need help with. Could you ask me a few questions and help me figure it out?” Keep this one in your back pocket.


5, 7, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



Small joys are what gets you through big grief.


14, 18, 21



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Check your ego. Often.


17, 21



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21