Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.


12-19



Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.


14-17, 21



Adjust your expectations but never lower your standards.


12, 15, 18, 21



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



For a bad cut / gash, use a rolled up washcloth or hand towel to apply pressure until you can get to an ER. If you have to drive yourself or need your hands free, secure the towel in place with duct tape.


18



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



Reinforce this at every opportunity: “You matter.” Kids respond to this message deeply, whether it comes from a positive source (parents/teacher/coach) or people who are only trying to exploit them.


2-18



Model good nutrition and fitness routine.


4



None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody.


11, 14, 17, 21



Read poem “Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver. (“...You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves...”)


17



“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” - Ernest Hemingway


12, 15, 21



Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.


8



Let’s find an activity where you can work with your hands


11



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21



Have family game nights this winter.


9



“You belong in every room you enter.” - Shonda Rhymes


6-21



Know the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy. Hint: If it can be fixed with money or effort, it’s probably not a tragedy.


15, 20



Sometimes it just takes a while to catch on. I had to watch Game of thrones 3 or 4 times before I could keep track of all the characters and subplots. Record your lectures so you can replay them a few times.


13,15,19



Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.


10, 18



You will come to rely on whatever you choose to help you feel better. You may even become addicted. So choose carefully. Rely on creative, positive, spirit-affirming practices to replenish yourself. Don’t fall in to the trap of alcohol/ food/gambling/smoking/sex/shopping, etc. to numb your pain or avoid dealing with difficulties. ________EVERYONE feels stress, anxiety, loss, despair, frustration and a while bunch of crappy feelings at some time or another. It’s okay to feel those things. But how you choose to DEAL with those feelings will determine a great deal in how happy your life will be.


12, 14, 16, 17, 21



Colin Powell’s 13 rules: 1. It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning. 2. Get mad, then get over it. 3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it. 4. It can be done. 5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it. 6. Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision. 7. You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours. 8. Check small things. 9. Share credit. 10. Remain calm. Be kind. 11. Have a vision. Be demanding. 12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers. 13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.


11, 14, 18



Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.


14, 18, 21



Apollo 13 and The Martian Great movies about space, science, engineering, etc. Watch together.


12



If you get comfortable telling little lies it will be easier to tell big lies. Tell the truth, even on small matters. (Except if your friends ask if they look fat. Then it’s okay to lie!)


13, 18, 21



Dress for energetic alignment. Screw what other people think. Your ability to live a creative, wholehearted life is inversely proportional to how much you care what people think of you. (Care what YOU think of yourself. Express yourself however you can as long as you’re not causing harm or breaking the law. Have fun. Be gentle to yourself.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Get to know your body, push yourself in terms of strength and endurance. You're stronger than you think. You're growing stronger every day. Your body is amazing and healthy. Take care of it! Enjoy it! Use your amazing strength and energy to do good in the world.


12-16



In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.


15, 21