When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.
18, 21
There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.
Infant
Grandpa never wore a watch. (This was way before cell phones existed.) Still, he always knew what time it was, and he was never, ever late.
14
“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.
15-20
I don’t buy Mallomars. But Santa does. Another Christmas stocking tradition is chicken flickin. Rubber chickens you shoot like rubber bands.
5, 21
Recruit the kids to help with cleaning the house. All hands on deck "round-ups" are fun and efficient: Round up sippy cups, trash, dirty laundry, give-aways, etc. Time them for maximum enthusiasm: "60 second trash round up...Go!" See who can collect the most trash in 60 seconds.
4
It’s possible (even common) to feel conflicting emotions simultaneously. You can be glad you’re not with a girl and still be jealous if she finds a new love. You can be glad you’ve moved on and still miss what once was. You can be sad that something happened and grateful for something that came of it. Humans are complex. Two or more conflicting thoughts can exist in our heads at once. It’s not a betrayal or a character flaw.
17
Book “Rainbow Relatives” is a great resource to be able to kindly, accurately and sensitively answer their questions about LGBTQ families.
6
Be respectful with regard to how you treat girls:. How you talk to them, how you talk about them, and even how you think about them.
11-14
We can learn, we can evolve. Let yourself be moved by the spirit. More beauty, more service, more humanity, deeper (or questioned) faith, more love. Always more love. That’s the best I can hope for: that you live a life full of love.
21
It’s okay to not understand things. Just be sure the only place your ignorance leads you is to education.
15, 19
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20
Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!
11
Men worry about getting laughed at or rejected by a woman. Women worry about getting killed when they reject a man. Let that sink in.
15, 21
A red brow line is an early sleepiness cue. If you notice the skin around baby’s eyebrows seems red, they’re ready for a nap.
Infant-1
Remember the tool of “Yes. But first...” Kids ask for things they want ALL DAY. To avoid saying”no” all day, (and avoid tantrums) don’t say no. Little One doesn’t touch her dinner except for the applesauce. Then she asks “Mommy can I have more applesauce?” Tell her “Yes!” “After you finish your meat and vegetables.”
2
People who have something to prove are dangerous to themselves and others. We are all worthy of love. Remember that.
11, 13, 17, 19, 21
What do you think about the word “refugee?” Let’s talk about what it means. Personally, I don’t understand all the complexities of immigration policy, but I figure anyone who escapes violence and walks hundreds of miles with kids in tow, trying to get to safety and gain an opportunity for a better life for their family can live next-door to me anytime.
13
People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?
11-14, 18, 21
Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.
13. 17, 19, 21