Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.


4-7



Learn what triggers you. It’s probably just two or three things. Work on your issues


14, 18. 21



Any thought about self-harm is like a “check engine” light going off for your brain. Seek professional help. You will recover.


12, 14, 15, 17, 19, 21



Drunken shenanigans are part of life when you’re in college, etc. but it gets old fast. That kind of behavior as an adult is just sad. Drink responsibly. Don’t make an $@!#% out of yourself. I recommend this rule: Don’t have more than one drink at a work function.


21



“You can miss a person every day and still be glad that they’re no longer in your life.” — Oprah Winfrey


19



You remember experiences, connections. Not stuff. Don’t get too caught up in stuff.


12, 15, 17, 21



Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.


8



Date all kinds but marry someone who loves you for who you are, with whom you feel most yourself. Someone who will encourage you to grow more into the person you want to be. (And be good at encouraging them to do same.) Never fear or stifle each other’s growth. Celebrate it. Support it. Encourage it.


21



Go out of your way to part on good terms whenever possible, in all circumstances.


18



Be kind. Be brave.


5-10



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



There’s one thing I’ve noticed that makes the difference between an adult and someone who is over 18: That person’s proclivity for reading. Books make you smarter, yes but they also make you kinder, funnier, more empathetic and more tolerant of opposing viewpoints. Travel has a similar effect but is a lot more expensive! If you want to be a genuine grownup, read (or listen to) everything you can get your hands on.


10, 14, 16, 20



Biographies: Be inspired.


12



Con-men (or women) appear perfect. They are good-looking, kind, flattering, etc. Most people are good. But be careful of those who seem to be too good.


15



It’s hard to want something and not have it. Kids have to learn how to sit with that.


3-17



Put down your phone and be in the moment. Teach this. Model this.


7



“But what is grief if not love preserving?” - Unknown


18



“Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as remaining where you no longer belong, or where you’re unable to be yourself and thrive.” Mandy Hall (paraphrased.)


21



Ask yourself "What kind of man do I want to be?"


14-21



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



Save where you can. Spend when you have to. Splurge every once in a while.


15, 21



Dating advice: If they like you, you’re gonna know. If they don’t, you’re gonna be confused.”


16, 21



“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.


15-20



“Beer muscles” is when guys gain a sense of indestructibility, an exaggerated sense of their own strength. Fights and aggressive behavior ensues.


15



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



Explain what “On my honor” means.


8



Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.


14, 17, 21



You’ll miss me when I’m gone, but if I did my job right you won’t need me.


21



Geocaching


5-11



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21