Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Never allow anyone to tell you who you are.


17



Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



1

What’s the Mark Twain quote about it’s not what you don’t know that gets you into trouble it’s what you know for sure that just ain’t true.


13, 21



Drunken shenanigans are part of life when you’re in college, etc. but it gets old fast. That kind of behavior as an adult is just sad. Drink responsibly. Don’t make an $@!#% out of yourself. I recommend this rule: Don’t have more than one drink at a work function.


21



Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.


2-6, 17, 21



There are always blessings hidden within heartbreak: a friend you would never have met otherwise, an opportunity that would never have come up, an experience, an encounter, a promotion, etc. Always look for the blessings.


9, 11, 18, 21



Anything you deny or fight will fight you back harder. Don’t fight the fear, pain, disappointment, etc. Let it in and let it teach you what it wants to teach you. Then you can part as friends.


15, 21



Read at least one biography every semester. between winners and losers read about the failures read about the great men and women read about historical figures American icon stage and film to battlefields to business read all about how great men and women made themselves great and learn from them here are a few to start Ted Kennedy he gets north star am Kristin Chenoweth Tina Fey I’m reading one now on call baker from the Bush administration Barack Obama Jimmy Carter Ronald Reagan Kennedy Roosevelt all those guys as well as Michelle Obama Jackie Kennedy all of those. Draft


19



Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!


11-14



General rule for health and happiness: avoid excess.


10, 14, 17, 21



Before you quit your job - or leave your spouse, etc. consider that you may be suffering from anxiety or depression. We sometimes attribute outside things (or people) as the cause of feeling desperate for change. But sometimes it’s just that our brains are fogged with anxiety or depression. Help is life- changing.


21



"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.


15



Mom’s scrambled eggs: Use fresh eggs. Scramble vigorously. Don’t add water or milk, just cook in copious amount of butter. Add salt and pepper.


12



Never enter into (or stay in) a relationship with someone based on their “potential.” It’s a recipe for misery, resentment and frustration.


19



If you have to pretend to be someone else to get or keep a relationship or job, etc. then that relationship/job is not for you!


15, 17, 21



Go to Montgomery County Fair


5-14



Don’t play hard to get. Be hard to earn.


16, 21



Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!


5-15, 18, 21



Check out Travel for Teens for summer travel programs. Let them choose from themes like service, adventure, animal rescue, etc.


14



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



Encourage others!!!


13



“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.


15, 16, 17, 18, 21



Sex isn’t something you “score.” It’s not a competition. Whether the encounter is casual or within a committed relationship it’s something that is shared.


16, 19, 20



Staying calm while under pressure or when you could scream in frustration - that is most of the battle. Sometimes the fact that you stayed calm qualifies as a win.


16, 21



Teach tuck to drive


15



Watch The Last Lecture before school starts on a pivotal year, like middle school, high school.


11, 12, 13, 14, 15



My Nana, born around 1913, used to decry “some people think the world owes them a living.” A hundred years later I agree. Nothing worse than entitlement.


13, 15, 21



The opposite of addiction is connection.


11, 14, 17, 20