I wrestle with leaving the church but I want to save you a lifetime of feelings of unworthiness. It’s totally normal to feel like you’re not good enough. We all battle those kinds of insecurities, so the last thing we need is to be taught that God thinks it too. Know that in reality we are all precious, down to the subatomic level. So when you think you’re unworthy, shake it off! You belong in every room you enter.


13, 15, 21



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



Create tech-free zones and times.


10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 21



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



You’re getting stronger by the day. Use your strength to protect, never to intimidate. Abusers and bullies are cowards and just the worst of men.


14, 17, 21



Pedestrians get hit all the time. Be aware when you’re driving OR walking. Wear reflective gear if walking at night. Stay off your phone when driving OR walking.


15



You’ll be finished with school soon. The most important thing I hope you learned is that there is still so much yet to learn.


21



Key to a happy marriage: each of you must love and support the person in front of them. Not the person you married or the person you hope they will grow into. We all change and grow. Not all of it is for the better, especially our looks ha ha. We shouldn’t make our spouse feel obligated to stay the same person they were when we fell in love with them. In marriage as in business as in life: If you’re not growing you’re dying.


21



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



Teach them what to do if they hit an animal while driving on the road. (First find out what you’re supposed to do, THEN teach them.)


16



Some kids have trouble with learning how to managing their anger and other big feelings. We all do! It’s good to give them grace. But steer clear of those who think mean is cool. You don’t have time for anyone who actually tries to be an a-hole.


6, 9, 12, 16, 21



Little trick for acne treatment: dandruff shampoo. Wash your face with Head and Shoulders and watch your skin clear up.


13-17



Let's talk about what armor you choose. People use all kinds of props and attitudes to try to protect or soothe themselves. Often it's that armor that ends up being much worse than the scary problems they were trying to avoid in the first place. Developing a healthy set of armor is crucial. Let's talk about some healthy ways to make ourselves feel better. Reference Brene Brown wholeheartedness.


12-16



Your very existence is a miracle. Countless cosmic events and generations of ancestors had to come together in precisely the right way at precisely the right time for you to be here now. It’s an honor to be who you are. Act accordingly.


13, 15, 18, 20, 21



Grit.


14



You never know what people are going through. Depression, PTSD, anxiety could look like avoidance, anger, risk-taking, promiscuity, etc. Look out for friends, coworkers and loved ones who may be in pain. You don’t need to solve their problem, just allow for the possibility that they’re going through something. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and not write off “bad” behavior as a character flaw. Offer a non-judgmental ear.


15, 20



Marry your hero.


21



Yes, you’re beautiful. But that’s not ALL you are. And it isn’t all that’s expected of you. Surely you could “get by” on your looks. Is that what you want for yourself?


10, 15



Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.


11, 12, 13



I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo


14



NEVER sit while someone near you is working.


14-21



Come and go in peace.


12, 15, 21



Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter. Hush until you heal.


12, 18



“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)


0, 20



Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.


14-18



My mom did laundry twice a week: Tuesdays and Saturdays. She separated colors! It never piled up and we all had clean clothes. I do laundry daily, it's never done and we can't find what we need. Ask Grandma what was her secret to the science of laundry. Because it's now your job to do all your own laundry!


14



They’re not rejecting you, they’re just becoming who they are. Give them some space.


12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



“There’s a part of me that’s a part of you” said a painter whose name I can’t remember. I don’t think he was talking to anyone in particular, or if he meant we’re all a part of each other. Either way, it’s a beautiful thought.


20