Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.
2,3,4
When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.
13, 16, 19
For a bad cut / gash, use a rolled up washcloth or hand towel to apply pressure until you can get to an ER. If you have to drive yourself or need your hands free, secure the towel in place with duct tape.
18
Play to win but play fair. Be a gracious winner. Someone has to lose. Sometimes it will be you. Don’t whine.
10
If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.
12, 14, 16, 19, 21
The $@!#% never ends. Dealing with the $@!#% IS your job. If you think you’ll ever reach a “post-$@!#%” stage in your life, you’re wrong.
14, 19
That trope “everything happens for a reason” is, I think, b.s. But I absolutely agree that you can find meaning in anything good or bad.
17
Start something new and let yourself revel in being bad at it. Paint badly, dance badly, write badly, play badly. Keep at it, and don’t let yourself get discouraged. Eventually you’ll be good at it!
15, 21
Sometimes you have to disconnect the “doing” from the “feeling.” Not so much that you’re disconnected from your feelings but that you’re able to tell them to get in the backseat while you take the wheel. It’s a skill. Practice makes you better at it.
12, 16, 19, 21
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you what you see with your own eyes isn’t happening.” -English teacher Read Diary of Anne Frank together.
12
If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.
16
They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)
3
“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa
16, 21
Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)
15, 18, 21
Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon
5
Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they feel loved by you. Meet the kids where they are.
2, 9, 21
Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.
9-15
Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!
3-4
Use timers to motivate and structure. "Better have your jammies on and teeth brushed by the time the timer goes off!" Using a simple timer helps things not drag on and on.
2-5
Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.
14, 21
Listen to records, a whole album at a time. 2 or 3 in a row. Bring friends, eat, drink, hangout, be goofy, dance, etc.
14-18
Emphasize "First things first." Distraction is always a challenge. Redirect focus to first things first.
5
Remember your training and staying calm and kind is how you get through this. It’s all you need to excel. So do your homework, whatever it may be. Show up and have at it. Calm and kind, baby. You got this.
9, 12, 14, 18, 21