Don’t have a clue? (Relationships / career / character, etc.) The solutions can be found in books. READ! Novels, biographies, history, religion, humor, politics, finance, sports, and whatever sparks your interests at the moment!) You’ll learn about the world, and you’ll learn about yourself. READ!!!! (or listen!)
There’s a great scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion is trying to prepare for an impending siege of the city but he doesn’t know how to begin planning a defense. Until he starts thinking about how his enemy is most likely to attack. Defense is reactive, offensive is proactive.
Great career advice from tv producer Tara Schuster: Be the best at the worst job. You’re a lowly intern, you’re not gonna get asked to sit down with the boss and strategize. But say the boss likes coffee, and the office coffee machine is unreliable. Fix the machine. Keep it in tip-top condition. Make a contribution to the company in small ways, consistent with your level of ability (which at this age is low low low. NO ONE likes a 20-something who thinks he/ she knows it all. Or knows anything really.) Listen, learn, anticipate needs and surpass expectations doing the little things. Be polite, kind, ethical. Be on time (early.) Yes, compete but also help others look good and succeed. NEVER never trash-talk a colleague, client, boss or subordinate. Don’t suck-up either. Mostly just listen, work, make yourself useful wherever you can. And have fun. You’re gonna do great, bunny.
You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.
Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.
I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo
Learn about current trends in social media. Figure out where you draw boundaries, what platforms are allowed and not. Teach them how to stay safe, be positive and kind and always respectful.
When someone suffers the loss of a loved one, don't shy away. Go to the service. Check in during the months following. Say the name of the person who died when you talk to them. Forward pictures of the loved one if you have any, share stories. There are exceptions to this, so always take your queue from the person who is grieving.
Change the furniture around in your dorm, apartment or bedroom every once in a while.
It’s an easy way to break up a timeline like for a holiday a season or after a breakup, etc.
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out.
There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
We struggle so much when we don’t know ourselves. Are you a thinker (creative, big picture) or a doer (meticulous, task-oriented.) Both are great by the way.
My mom used to proudly describe herself as an “Irish Catholic Democrat.”
I think my dad voted for Reagan once but other than that we’re all pretty liberal.
Crushes are fine but I beg you not to waste your time and energy obsessing about someone. Really it’s just a way to hide, to feel something without risking anything. F that. Turn your attention to something creative, constructive or productive. Make art, train for a race, volunteer or get a second job. Discover WHAT you love. Pursue that and your people will be there.