When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.


13, 16, 19



Sailing lessons.


14



Sometimes fear feels like a signal to get out of there, but being uncomfortable in a new situation is totally normal. Practice sitting in that discomfort and you’ll find it gets easier.


9, 12, 15, 17, 21



Check out the Jesuit Volunteer Corp. A short but deeply meaningful immersion into service, faith in action, selflessness and living on a lot less than you think you need.


19



Read J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit together


11



Keep in mind the human tendency (rightly or wrongly) to think “how it ends is how it was”. Could be a work shift, a class, a relationship, etc. try to end on a good note.


16, 21



Everyone has times when they don’t get their way. They lose, or fall short in competition. Everyone fails. Very few are able to fail gracefully, keeping conscious of their their dignity, not losing their sense of humor, etc. Cultivate a resilient mindset. Sometimes if you can’t beat them it really is a good thing to join them. Sometimes it’s better to go down swinging. As far as enduring a bad situation, the saying goes “If you can’t get out of it, then get into it.” Meaning, make the absolute best of it. Excel, delight in your circumstances as much as possible. You won’t stay down for long.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



Sometimes grief looks a lot like anger. Are you upset about something you lost or had to let go of?


15, 21



You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.


14, 17, 21



Have them sort change, and eventually to count it. It teaches them to gather things that are alike, it's an introduction to money and it occupies them for 15 minutes! Just make sure they're old enough to be past the point of putting coins in their mouth.


3-5



Avoid commenting on the number of children someone has (or doesn’t have.) Its none of your business to ask why a couple doesn’t have kids or remark if they announce they’re pregnant with their 7th (other than to say “Congratulations.”)


15, 21



Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)


14-21



Don’t let some dumb-sh*t’s overconfidence get you killed.


11, 14, 17, 19, 21



I promise I will never snoop. No matter how curious I am, I will not violate your privacy. But if I ever think you may be in danger I will break any promise and any law I have to in order to keep you safe.


10, 12, 14, 15



You’re someone’s cup of tea. I don’t mean there is only one person out there for you, I mean someone is waiting to love you exactly how you are. Stop wasting time with fools who want to change you to fit their ideal.


15, 19, 21



Stay away from anything or anyone that denies or disparages a person’s humanity. (Or a group’s humanity.)


12-21



Start playing Jokers and Marbles. Get it on Amazon or Etsy.


9



When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.


21



Rudeness is a weak person’s imitation of strength.


13, 21



Apollo 13 and The Martian Great movies about space, science, engineering, etc. Watch together.


12



Discuss prescription (and OTC) medications. Doctors prescribe or recommend these medicines, they’re not for fun and should be taken seriously. Discuss how medicines are obtained, never shared, which is dangerous and illegal. Emphasize the risk of dependence.


10



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.


12-19



Your great-great grandmother was a seamstress at Marshall Fields. Her husband was a firefighter in Chicago. The immigrated from County Wexford in Ireland.


10



Letting go hurts. There's no two ways about it. You just gotta feel it and get through it. Cry. Sweat it out. Sing, run, write, or just scrub floors. You will get through it, and you will be stronger and more compassionate.


14



Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.


17