Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.
10, 18
“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas
11, 14, 17
Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.
4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21
Stage one relationship: first few dates. Stage two, you really like them. Stage three, you love them and are exclusive. Stage four: you commit to building a future together. You’re going to have many stage one and two relationships. Probably a few stage three, and if you’re lucky you’ll have one or two stage fours.
14, 17, 21
Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.
16, 21
Watch YouTube video on how to administer an Epi-pen injection. You have friends with allergies you may need to know how to do this.
11-15
Pay attention to what people do and what they say. Try to look past their appearance. This is especially true for women, who are almost always judged primarily on the way they look.
12, 15, 19
On days when you wake up tired, sick or just not ready to deal with the morning, just get up and take a shower. Turn up the music. Rally!
17-21
Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.
11, 14, 17
Try house music for focus. Spotify “uplifting trance” playlists. Better than Adderall by a mile.
12, 13, 16
When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.
18, 21
There is all kinds of darkness in the world- disease, accidents, natural disasters, etc. But the worst darknesses are man made: War, violence, poverty, injustice, indifference. Push back against all of it as much as you can. Light will beat the darkness in the end. Fight on the side of the light. Love, truth, beauty, creativity, connection and compassion.
20
Here’s one definition of a saint: Someone who isn’t a jerk, doesn’t complain or whine when they’re sick or in pain.
15, 19
Book “Rainbow Relatives” is a great resource to be able to kindly, accurately and sensitively answer their questions about LGBTQ families.
6
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
20
I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.
14
Take advantage of all the help that’s available to you! Counselors, advisors, mentors, etc. Then pay it forward when you’re in a position to do so.
17
Professor Scott Galloway’s advice: Paraphrasing his standard wedding toast: “1. Express affection and desire. Everyone wants to be wanted. It’s healthy and it is part of what makes your relationship singular. 2. Never let your wife / girlfriend be hungry or cold. Two thirds of the really awful arguments you’ll have it’s because someone is hungry or cold. Carry blankets and protein bars. (You’re welcome.) 3. Don’t keep score. Decide what kind of friend / son / daughter / spouse / employee / human being you want to be, and practice being that. Put the scorecard away.”
21
The person you have the most electric connection to may not be the ideal choice for a life partner.
15, 19, 21
Never take friendships for granted. Show up. Reach out. Be there when they need you. Friends are gifts; tend to those relationships with love.
15, 20