Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.
12
Ask “Is your belly full?” Instead of saying “Clean your plate!” Have them stay in touch with hunger/food connection.
3
I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?
11
Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.
16, 18, 21
Practice “going without.” Talk about how nobody gets what they want all the time. We should learn how to just choose to go without something we want. Get them in on the discussion and pick something every day to do without.
5-9
Yes, push yourself and see how far / fast / high you can go (physically, academically, etc.) But remember, you have nothing to prove to anyone except yourself.
14, 17, 21
Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.
11-15
Give people the benefit of the doubt. Unless someone gives you a reason not to trust them, assign the best possible motive to their actions.
14-18
With toddlers (or teens), first acknowledge the emotion. Then deal with the behavior. Validate their feelings. Once everyone is calm, address the behavior and discuss consequences if appropriate.
2, 13, 17
Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.
2
Spend time with people you admire, in person and biographies, documentaries, novels and movies.
14-17, 21
A simple blessing to silently pray over someone: “May he (she) be healthy, May he be safe. O Lord bless him with peace and joy.” Pray for people you know, for strangers on the elevator, for teachers, world leaders, friends or foes, etc. It’s one way to make the world a better place, and it turns your heart closer to God.
15
Today is not the day to lose your sh*t. Deep breaths, cold water, do your hair. You’re gonna be just fine.
1-21
Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.
16
Plastic stackable dresser - 5 drawers labeled for days of the week. Put outfits in each. No drama emergencies on school days, the week’s wardrobe is planned out.
5
A dear friend of the family used to swear by the many healing properties of Seabreeze (alcohol based astringent.) She’d prescribe it for everything from sunburn to bug bites, rashes and scrapes. it stung like heck but she was right: The stuff is a miracle! I always keep a bottle Seabreeze around and think of Mimi every time I use it.
18