Sometimes fear feels like a signal to get out of there, but being uncomfortable in a new situation is totally normal. Practice sitting in that discomfort and you’ll find it gets easier.
Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”
Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.
Before speaking (or texting) ask yourself three questions: Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary? If not all three, don’t speak. (PS “kind” isn’t the same as good news. You can deliver bad news with kindness.)
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.
People have big feelings when they realize how unjust and unfair the world can be. Totally natural and healthy. The problem starts when they channel those feelings into destructive actions and beliefs: violence, war, crime and hatred. We will be so much better off if we can learn to deal with our collective and individual pain in a way that is therapeutic and constructive. Maybe we can help each other to be creative in the face of fear, grief, pain, anxiety, anger, betrayal, injustice.
Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
Violent thunderstorms can be dangerous. Avoid driving or being out in severe weather: car accidents, downed trees, high winds, lightning, flash floods, etc. are all potentially just don’t take your safety for granted if the weather is severe, stay sheltered unless you absolutely positively have to be out and about.
I’ve been trying to retrain my brain to deal with anxiety in healthy ways. It’s SO hard when these connections were fused decades ago.
BUT I REFUSE to be a party to YOU laying down those same unhealthy neurological pathways. I’ll teach you better ways to handle stress and anxiety. Exercise/ Music/ warm showers/ creativity/ rest/ journaling/ meditation... WHATEVER! I promise to Somehow teach you what I never learned.