Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.


17



Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they feel loved by you. Meet the kids where they are.


2, 9, 21



It’s okay if you don’t know how (or don’t want) to move on. Start with something easier…just don’t go back.


16



Happiness comes from giving and helping, not buying and having.


14, 19



There’s a big difference between being tired and being fatigued.


19



Encourage creativity, science and engineering: Make a craft station / work bench for projects. Fill it with all kinds of art supplies, engineering kits, tools, pegboard, etc. Stock safety equipment like goggles and make sure the area has good lighting. Lots of ideas on Pinterest, etc.


8



1

Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1


10



Consent is more than the literal


13, 14, 15, 16, 21



Don’t waste your life’s purpose worrying about what other people think about you.


12, 15, 21



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



2

Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.


16



Police officers and members of the military put their lives on the line to protect us. Be respectful of them and thank them for their service.


9



Watch Abby Wambach's 2018 Barnard commencement address together.


16



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.


17, 21



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.


7



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



Better to be a little hungry than too full.


15, 21



Your brain seeks novelty. Try new things as long as you live. Take risks (but not safety risks!)


20



I did my best to guide you, but I’m sure there are many areas where my take is just not aligned with yours. That’s okay! Bunny please don’t feel any obligation to believe what I believe or take any advice, or continue any tradition mentioned in this Coda.


21



You will never be good enough for the wrong person. This truth is profound and one I wish I learned a lot earlier in my life. Stop tripping over yourself to please someone who doesn’t get you.


21



“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.


15, 21



Writing is thinking.


14, 17. 21



If someone wants to leave you, let them. Don’t waste your energy trying to prove your worth to anyone.


14, 19, 21



One of the best things you can do for yourself is to cultivate a hobby. Anything positive/creative you can throw yourself into.


11, 13, 17, 21



On September 11th I was at work in Fairfax VA. News reports were saying a plane was headed to the Capitol, that the Whitehouse had been hit. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, news reports will be unreliable. Wait until the facts are in. Several of the nurses had husbands who worked at the Pentagon. One of the doctors was married to a U.S. Senator in her office on the Hill. It was surreal, but no one panicked. I remember we all burst into tears when my friend’s husband called saying he was safe. So relieved.


15, 17



The mind replays what the heart wants to heal.


16



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Japanese multiplication (counting lines.)


8