Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.


14, 16, 20



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11



No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.


18-18, 21



Just let a sweet moment be. There’s a time for jokes or small talk, but sometimes silence is best.


15,21



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Don't let the laundry pile up. This lessons extends to pretty much every chore: Stay ahead of it and you won't get crushed by it.


17



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



Life is for the living. It’s okay to move on. It’s okay to laugh and dream, work, to party, to rest rest, etc. you honor the dead by living your life. Everyone meets up in the end anyway!


19, 21



A dear friend of the family used to swear by the many healing properties of Seabreeze (alcohol based astringent.) She’d prescribe it for everything from sunburn to bug bites, rashes and scrapes. it stung like heck but she was right: The stuff is a miracle! I always keep a bottle Seabreeze around and think of Mimi every time I use it.


18



Don't say anything out loud that you wouldn't want repeated or overheard. Don't email / text, etc. anything that you wouldn't want forwarded.


11-15



In the wise words of Taylor Swift, you don’t have to forgive or forget in order to move on. You can just…move on.


15, 21



Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”


12, 15, 19, 21



Overflowing toilet 101: Teach how to turn off the water valve and how to plunge. From now on, you break it, you fix it.


11



Robin Williams was one of the best examples of how to be a good human.


15, 19, 21



Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.


11, 13, 17, 21



Begin again. Whether by choice or necessity, sometimes there’s no other option.


15, 21



Kids (and people of all ages) need attention, affection and appreciation. It’s not all they need, but it’s a start!


11



“Pirate Rules” is a temporary suspension of the usual rules. It means pretty much anything goes for this moment so we can all stay sane. ——-Loosen the rules on snacks, bedtime, screen time, etc. in special circumstances.


1-5



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



People pretend to enjoy all sorts of things. Don’t assume you’re the only one who thinks drinking to the point of getting sick is just stupid.


15



Sometimes it feels really good to say “no.” (Or “no thank you.” Or “$@!#% no!”)


14, 20



Addiction is when you can’t get through the day without something. It’s not that you need to feel high, it’s that you can’t live without what gets you high. Humans are all wired to be at risk for addiction


13, 15, 18, 20



Read The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig.


4



People don’t abandon people they love, they abandon people they’re using.


19, 21



There’s a great scene in Game of Thrones where Tyrion is trying to prepare for an impending siege of the city but he doesn’t know how to begin planning a defense. Until he starts thinking about how his enemy is most likely to attack. Defense is reactive, offensive is proactive.


19



You should feel safe with friends. They shouldn’t try to get you hurt or in trouble. Anyone who makes you feel unsafe is not your friend.


8-15



There are things you should not say: Never comment or ask a woman about her age or weight. Never comment on how many kids someone has (or doesn’t have.) The size, timing, composition, etc of someone else’s family is not your business to weigh in on. You never know who is struggling with loss or infertility, etc. And if someone announces they are expecting their seventh kid, the only correct response is “Congratulations” “How are you feeling?” etc. Just like you would if it was their first. Never ask someone how much weight they lost. If they’ve lost weight, just say “You look wonderful/amazing/ fantastic, etc.” And of course never comment on anyone having gained weight. Just say “You look wonderful.” And never never never ask someone how much money they earn or how much money they have, or how much they owe or paid for something, etc. People’s finances are personal, and are just not any of your business.


15, 20



Always have a 5 year plan. Be thinking of goals you want to work towards, however big or small. What inspires you? What drives you? What do you want to accomplish or cure or solve?


15, 17, 21



Default to "nice guy." Meaning it should require something significant for you NOT to be nice. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Cut them (and yourself) some slack. Life is hard. We're all in this together.


12