I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.
16,21
Never do two illegal things at the same time. Don’t break the law while breaking the law.
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, that's way too simple, even trite. But without discounting the real pain you might be experiencing in a moment of crisis, I encourage you to embrace that sentiment. You can't forget about the problem, but you can change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord.
15
Stay fit. Try to increase fitness every year in some way: Strength, flexibility, endurance, or a specific sport or practice. Never take your body for granted.
14, 20
“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)
0, 20
On a job interview, mention a high-level educational goal such as MBA or law school. Their estimation of you will go up without them even realizing it. Your offer will be higher. Also follow, up with a brief but we’ll-written (professional) thank you note/email whatever.
17, 19, 21
90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)
17, 21
Let them borrow your calm. Little ones (grownups too) sometimes just need to freak out a bit. Stay there. Be near. Don’t judge or even help. Just be there, and stay calm. Your loving energy is all they need as they work through it themselves. Keep them safe but other than that don’t help or advise unless they ask.
2-6, 17, 21
“Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. Sex isn’t the door to intimacy, feeling safe to be yourself around your partner is.
15-20
Start explaining wants vs. needs. Continue explaining for the next 30 years. We don’t always get what we want. That’s okay. 4 year olds can begin to understand this.
4
“Things are not perfect, because life is not TV and we are real people with scarred, worried hearts. But it’s amazing a lot of the time.” - Anne Lamott
14
Fact: when you drink to excess you are significantly more likely to cause harm to someone or be harmed yourself. Being drunk means surrendering your ability to keep yourself and others safe.
12, 15, 18
The more books you read, the better. Carve out time without screens and read every day.
8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 21
Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.
11, 14, 17
Tell them who they are: kind, creative, smart etc. A person of honor and integrity, a part of the divine universe. Demonstrate for them what it means to live according to your values. Encourage them to listen to their body, guide them on how they might best find (and align with) their truest nature. Listen to them when they’re exploring what that might look like. Support them when they decide.
1, 2, 5, 7, 12, 16, 18, 21
Learn the difference between keeping secrets and keeping some things to yourself. Never kiss and tell. Err on the side of saying less rather than more.
13, 15, 19
That trope “everything happens for a reason” is, I think, b.s. But I absolutely agree that you can find meaning in anything good or bad.
17
“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas
11, 14, 17
Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.
14, 18
YouTube Hank Green “Study Hall.” It talks about navigating the mess of college and career choices, like choosing a major (and what a major is!) What interests align with which majors, etc.
12, 15, 16