Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.
1, 5, 10, 15, 20
You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!
13
May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo
9, 14, 21
Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.
17, 21
Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.
11-13
Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1
10
Everyone gets crushes but if you’re having an imaginary relationship do so with an imaginary person. It’s disrespectful of someone’s dignity to obsess over them. Not to mention your own dignity!
12, 13, 15, 16, 19, 21
Teen years are a whole other ballgame. Find a community and stay up with trends and news. Check out the website Raising Teens Today.
12
“Just because you think it doesn’t mean it’s true. Your brain’s a little $@!#% and likes to lie to you.” -Elyse Myers
15, 21
Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.
15, 19
I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.
2, 3, 4
Grandpa didn’t drink coffee, but when he was in Korea he used to drink it just so he could hold the cup and keep his hands warm. (During the Korean War be enlisted in the Marines with a bunch of his buddies right after high school.)
14, 21
Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.
14, 19, 21
Purpose is more important than happiness. Having a purpose (or looking for it) will save you. (And sometimes finding a *new* purpose is what you need.)
16, 21
Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)
15, 19, 21
Keep porn to a minimum. Never at school or work. It's normal to be curious but it's really not a healthy representation of sex. Porn is a business. It's designed to get you off, not to be realistic or educational. That's not the way sex looks or how you're expected to behave. Try O.school instead.
15
I hope you find a partner with who are your most authentic self, and who you love for who they genuinely are.
15, 21
“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.
20
Porn: I wish I could keep you away from it entirely but at least I will prepare you. It’s normal to be curious, etc. but like anything else, it can get to be too much and can be very harmful, especially to a very young person. It can disrupt your healthy sexuality, ruin your relationships and even your career (no porn at work!) Also keep in mind it is a business designed to make money, not to be realistic. That's not the way sex looks. Also the women are NOT enjoying themselves. So try to avoid it, but at least keep it to a minimum!
11-14
When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.
8-18
IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!
12, 14, 16, 21