The Paradoxical Commandments by Keith Kent: 1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centred. Love them anyway. 2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. 3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. 4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. 5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. 6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. 7. People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. 8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. 9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. 10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.


14, 17, 21



When you’re older, remember that stuff like video games, alcohol, junk food, gambling, porn, and a whole host of other vices can turn on you, and become an addiction that wrecks your health, relationships or even your life. You don’t have to give up all this stuff, but keep them to a minimum. How often and how much is a big difference. It’s the difference between meeting a friend for a beer or two and walking into work hungover most days. Remember: You decide- How often and how much.


13, 16, 19



Curate a presentation on heartbreak. Talk about heartbreaks endured by people we know, fictional characters, historical figures, etc. Point is to normalize it, prepare them for it and teach them that they will come out the other side.


14, 20



Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.


14, 18



It's natural to avoid change. Try to learn to accept change, embrace it if you can! Change is good. :)


15



Visit the Grand Canyon together


18-21



The more you move, the happier you are.


10, 11, 13, 15, 18, 21



Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.


11



“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.”   -Chasten Buttigieg


12



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



“The beginning parts are always the scariest.” -Jackson Daily (kid reporter on Today Show.)


10, 12, 16



Marry for character, not just chemistry.


17, 21



Be teachable. If you walk around thinking you know it all, your career and relationships will suffer. Consider how much you have to learn and welcome any opportunity to learn. “Teach me” instead of “I don’t know.”


16



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



Hike Jones Run Falls at Shenandoah National Park.


11



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.


18, 19, 21



Sometimes you have to put aside how you feel about a person and objectively look at how their actions show how they feel about *you.*


16



Give him a copy of The Secret Lives of Great Composers by Elizabeth Lunday.


14



Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)


15, 19, 21



“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



Stupid is as stupid does - it’s not something you “are” it’s something you do.


4, 7, 9, 11, 13, 16, 19, 21



Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.


7



Teach him what to do and how to act if he gets pulled over.


16



Pool safety- never touch equipment and always have a grownup present when swimming.


3-8



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



They’re very teachable at this age. When behavior is bad, send to their room for a brief “time-out.” Then go get them by sitting and putting him/her on your lap. Talk (1-3 sentences) about why we don’t behave that way and how I expect you to behave instead. Then hugs and kisses. If the offense is really bad, introduce consequences (which have to be immediate, they wont understand missing out on something hours from now, won’t make the connection.)


3



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



1

Your life is way bigger than one relationship. Or one grade, or one job, or one choice, or one event, or one gift. Make room for all of it even when some of it will most certainly hurt.


17