Take heart. There are lots of terrible things in the world - Poverty, disease, injustice, natural disasters...Thankfully, good FAR outweighs the bad: Love, Faith, Art, friendship, healing, creativity, community, innovation, beauty and renewal to name just a few. Focus on the good. Relish in the countless expressions of goodness. Work hard to preserve, protect, and advance them.
18
Do something that feeds your soul every day. Experience or create joy, even if just a small spark of it.
17
“You’ll never be alone when you carry a poet in your pocket.” - John Adams Bring a book with you wherever you go.
12, 19
Conflict resolution tip: Are we talking about how we got here, or how we get out of here? Because those are two entirely different conversations.
14, 16, 20
Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.
15, 19
Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.
15, 20
My love for you will never run out - neither will God’s love / patience run out. I will always instruct, discipline and give consequences for bad behavior- because it’s my job to teach you. But there’s nothing you could do to lose my love. Remind them daily.
5-20
At dinner time, go around the table and share your “highs and lows” for the day. (Re-ticket up to 21)
5
Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!
5-15, 18, 21
Curate a presentation on heartbreak. Talk about heartbreaks endured by people we know, fictional characters, historical figures, etc. Point is to normalize it, prepare them for it and teach them that they will come out the other side.
14, 20
Be present. Don’t turn every conversation into a lesson. They stay in their rooms so much because they feel safe there. They’re tired and stressed out and managing a lot of change.
13
Talk to them about how dangerous it is to buy pills online. Fentanyl is ubiquitous and lethal in small doses. Never never take a pull that wasn’t prescribed or purchased legally.
12
Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!
13, 16, 18, 21
There are all kinds of parenting and mommy blogs with good resources. A quick Google search will get you started.
Infant
Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.
11, 14, 17
No matter how late you are, don’t speed or drive unsafely. It’s not worth someone’s life or limbs.
18-18, 21
Drill on stuff that will be valuable throughout their lifetime: Vocabulary, geography, addition and subtraction.
10, 12, 14, 20