We do what we do and feel how we feel because we think what we think. Our thoughts are so powerful. Let’s take each one captive today and be sure they’re the kind of thoughts we want guiding and influencing the way we live our lives.” -Lysa TerKeurst


14



“I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” - Oliver Cromwell ……. Great example of this is the story of Dr. Anthony Fauci with regard to his HIV/$@!#% research and corresponding dealings with the gay community. They started out adversarial but Fauci wasn’t above hearing their concerns and working together. Life-saving drugs got approved as a result. Dr. Fauci is one of my heroes. Huge brain, big heart and tiny ego.


15



Not knowing what you’re doing is a lot less terrifying than not knowing who to trust.


14, 19, 21



Turn on the closed captions on tv. Reading them is almost unconscious. Even better, set the audio to a language other than English and turn on English captions.


4-9



Be a safe place. Teach them to be a safe place too.


12



Don’t bring a complaint without offering a solution.


17, 19, 21



That little space between stimulus and response...that’s all the control we get. That space is ours to do with. That space is fertile ground for addiction, for faith, for peace or pain. When the sh*t hits the fan, resist the urge to run away from the pain. Trying to dull it will only make it grow deeper roots.


19



Sailing lessons.


14



Never post a pic to social media that you wouldn't want Grandma to see. NEVER send or ask to receive naked pictures. It's tacky, gross, illegal and not worth it. Even if "everyone does it". It's rude and disrespectful.


11-13, 18



“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw...... As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.


16



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.


17, 21



Let's all go on a "complaining diet." See how long we can go without a complaint for a weekend. Repeat often.


9-15



Speaking truth to power is important but should be done carefully. Before you speak remember this: Is there anything self-serving, mean-spirited, or ego-driven? If you’re sure your feedback isn’t tinged with those things, then I’d say you can be comfortable telling it like it is. Note: when you’re young (less than 30) WAIT to be asked before you spill your guts! Always be kind, professional and consider what you want to say carefully.


21



Most brilliant TED talk I ever saw on living authentically. Step one: decide what you don’t give a f*ck about. Step two: don’t give a f*ck about those things. Always be kind and polite but never be sorry for not giving a $@!#% about stuff you don’t give a $@!#% about.


14, 21



I promise I will never snoop. No matter how curious I am, I will not violate your privacy. But if I ever think you may be in danger I will break any promise and any law I have to in order to keep you safe.


10, 12, 14, 15



The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.


12, 15, 21



Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.


4-6



Give yourself a break from thinking about yourself.


13, 16, 21



When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.


15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



Remind them there’s nothing they could ever do to lose your love. They’re so afraid of disappointing you. Emphasize the difference between making mistakes and being a “bad” person.


5, 10, 15, 21



Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



Follow your dreams…not your boyfriend’s.


16



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20



Lookout for the girls when you’re in a group. Some boys will try to take advantage or straight up r@pe them. Your responsibility goes beyond avoiding harming anyone. Your male privilege is a perk…earn it. Protect girls from sketchy dudes. No big deal, just help when you can and then move along. Don’t expect a cookie.


14,15, 16, 17, 21



Ladies, don’t waste a moment of your precious time trying to get a man’s attention. If he’s interested he will love heaven and earth to get YOUR attention. Save your energy for joy and work and learning and doing whatever floats your boat! Let him be the one to twist himself in knots.


15, 18, 20



Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.


15, 18. 21