When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask:
Was I fair?
Was I kind?
Did I put in the work?
If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well.
If an answer is “No,” then fix it.
Practice road-rage roll playing. People are NUTS! It's hard to imagine how you'll react when someone gets aggressive with you. Let's practice staying calm when someone is shouting and in your face.
Plastic stackable dresser - 5 drawers labeled for days of the week. Put outfits in each. No drama emergencies on school days, the week’s wardrobe is planned out.
Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.
The Language of the Universe: A Visual Exploration of Mathematics https://www.amazon.com/dp/1536215058/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_R83V51QC1RGYVEZ4ESMQ
You’ll start dating soon. Have fun! Good luck. Prepare yourself for broken hearts. They come with the territory. (Worth it.) Talk about healthy ways to manage breakups and fear of breaking up.
Appreciate other cultures when traveling or interacting among people from different cultures. Once on a mission trip, the locals brought coffee and cookies by in the afternoons, but I never took any. I regret that lost opportunity for connection.
If you want to know what girls like, read the books they’re reading, watch the shows they watch, etc. Porn is entertainment *not* education. Movies books and shows marketed to 12 year-old boys get it wrong most of the time, can’t learn anything from them. Chick flicks is where you’ll find a little instruction on how to flirt in a non-creepy way, how to kiss, how to be in a healthy relationship. Study the difference between the male gaze vs female gaze.
You may end up being a big shot, Good for you! But check yourself. The good lord wasn't above washing his friends' dirty feet so please don't feel like you're above any task that needs to be done. Enjoy your success but stay humble.
When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.
No dating while unstable. Being responsible for someone’s heart means being prepared to treat them with respect at all times, regardless of whether they make you angry, jealous, annoyed, rejected, humiliated or heartbroken. If (a) you don’t think those things could happen or (b) think there’s a reasonable chance you’d lose your temper, then you’re not ready. And that’s okay! You’ll get there in your own time. In the meantime stay off the market.
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
On marriage: Your spouse will change. You will change. Some for the better, some parts for the worse.
Tastes, plans, health, body shape, education, needs, beliefs... all change throughout our lives. It’s growth. (It’s also decay!)
Support each other through both.
Encourage each other to be true to yourselves. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Pray for each other. Have fun together. Keep learning about each other. Be your partner’s biggest fan.
Remember this: “It’s not always about you.” It’s a natural tendency to take things personally- someone’s bad mood, or not paying attention to you, or not calling, etc. But most times when we see people acting shy/aloof/crabby or mean - it has nothing to do with us and everything to do with them, and what they’re experiencing.
Try (a) not to take things personally and (b) to have compassion for people, who are all going through something.
Sometimes you just have to let go. Let go of a relationship, or a dream, or plans. Let go of a person, a pet, or an object. It's hard. It takes a lot of trust.
Trust the Lord will heal the wound, no matter how deep. His goodness is infinite.
“First things first!”
It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!”
After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.