Maria Shriver has lots of great parenting advice. One of my favorites is (paraphrased): “Children need what you need: to be seen, to be talked to, to feel safe and loved.”


Infant



Practice sitting and standing "like a statue" to teach them how to be still. Start with a goal of 5 or 10 seconds, gradually move to 2 minutes. Same thing for "silent game" to teach them how to stay quiet when they need to. Bribery helps teaching this concept!


3-4



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Plan a few screen-free weekends every year. (Reticket until 16.)


7



Remember: “C’s get degrees.” Don’t tie yourself in knots over grades.


17, 18



Be generous in all things. That is my hope for you.


14, 18, 21



1

Read JAMA article by Brooke Peterson Gabster.


18



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



When they’re upset just ask what they need: space, distraction, or talk about it.


12



Emotional pain is just like physical wound- you can choose to ignore it but it will only fester. Address the pain. Literally talk to it, and listen to it- it’s got so much to say.


11, 13, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21



Look into "OK Go" videos.


7-14



If someone doesn’t want your attention or warrant your attention, don’t give it.


15



You’re not obsessed with that person you’re just hyper fixating. It’s ADHD.


12, 16, 19, 21



Harm springs from excess.


12



Sign up for typing class. (Keyboarding)


13



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Con-men (or women) appear perfect. They are good-looking, kind, flattering, etc. Most people are good. But be careful of those who seem to be too good.


15



Rain, snow or sleet...Always return the shopping cart to the proper spot in the parking lot.


17



Read Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson together.


17



Ask “What are you going to teach ME?” Let him work on something to teach.


11



Great message about not letting people hurt you just because they have painful scars. Their scars aren’t yours to heal, and you deserve to be treated well. Very well. https://vm.tiktok.com/TTPd2beHxu/


15, 21



Speak up when it’s called for: Fight injustice, stand up for others, etc. but shut the F up if you’re thinking about offering an unsolicited opinion or advice about anything you’re not personally an expert in.


12, 16



When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.


12, 16, 21



The opposite of addiction is connection.


11, 14, 17, 20



Read the Hobbit aloud with him. Afterward, encourage him to read The Lord of the Rings by himself.


9



When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.


9



“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers


12, 14, 17, 21



It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.


19



May you make yourself proud every day. That’s my wish for you. (I will always be proud of you.) xoxo


9, 14, 21