Keep stuff on hand for guests. Be ready to be a good host / hostess at any moment.


16-21



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



“Tell me something you want to be when you grow up.”


5, 8



Read BIOGRAPHIES. So many interesting stories and valuable lessons. Historical figures, those close to them (those are often the real treats!) Also people from all walks of life, different industries. Artists, entrepreneurs, athletes, statesmen, etc. Bonus points for listening to the audiobook if subject narrates it.


20



“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” - Winston Churchill


16, 21



Remember your training and staying calm and kind is how you get through this. It’s all you need to excel. So do your homework, whatever it may be. Show up and have at it. Calm and kind, baby. You got this.


9, 12, 14, 18, 21



When you feel sad, mad, confused or in any way upset, go to a quiet place to catch your breath. If you can sit with it and let it tell you what it wants to tell you, then you become its friend. But if you try to deny the feeling, or numb it, it grows much stronger and it fights you.


9, 13, 19



“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas


11, 14, 17



Check into Brilliant.org for STEM activities.


12



take advantage of the bike trail. Bike places as a family.


11



SAT Prep https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/opinion/how-i-learned-to-take-the-sat-like-a-rich-kid.html


16



Learning to keep your composure and maintain a respectful tone when you’re frustrated/angry/afraid/upset, etc. is a skill. PRACTICE it.


4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1


10



Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.


16, 21



“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa


16, 21



My mom did laundry twice a week: Tuesdays and Saturdays. She separated colors! It never piled up and we all had clean clothes. I do laundry daily, it's never done and we can't find what we need. Ask Grandma what was her secret to the science of laundry. Because it's now your job to do all your own laundry!


14



Your job is to help your kids find themselves, not to implant an agenda of your own.


1, 5, 10, 15, 20



That trope “everything happens for a reason” is, I think, b.s. But I absolutely agree that you can find meaning in anything good or bad.


17



Have family game nights this winter.


9



Don’t take criticism from people you wouldn’t take advice from.


16



Fashion philosophy: never mind the trends. Ask yourself “how do I want to be perceived today? How do I want to feel?” Go from there.


12, 17. 19



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Share a few of our most embarrassing moments. Teach them it’s okay to laugh at yourself and even when you’re mortified in the moment being embarrassed isn’t fatal. (And it happens to everyone.)


11



Plan trip to Outside Lands music festival at Golden Gate Park


17



You may lose a relationship but you keep the love. It becomes a part of you. It changes you for the better.


15, 19, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



Read up on the adolescent brain.


11, 13



Talk to people like they belong and are valued exactly as they are in that moment.


12-14, 21



It’s when the sh*t hits the fan that real discipleship begins.


21



“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.” From short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir


1Infant-21