Forget perfection. Nothing is perfect. No relationship, job, house, or day is perfect. Let go of expectations, be open to the mess.


18



“Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou


13, 15, 21



Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)


14



Start the tradition of First Sunday dinners. On the first Sunday of the month, have a "mini-holiday" dinner. Invite family, friends. Use the nice dishes, make a big meal. Celebrate family.


4-18



Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.


17, 21



Just show up. That’s all we can really control. Show up, (don’t run) and take it from there. You got this.


21



Honesty without kindness is brutality. Kindness without honesty is manipulation. (That said, when anyone asks if that outfit makes them look fat, the answer is “you look perfect.”)


20



The opposite of addiction is connection.


11, 14, 17, 20



My love for you will never run out - neither will God’s love / patience run out. I will always instruct, discipline and give consequences for bad behavior- because it’s my job to teach you. But there’s nothing you could do to lose my love. Remind them daily.


5-20



Learn what triggers you. It’s probably just two or three things. Work on your issues


14, 18. 21



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



1

I’m cool with “C”s. Do good work but don’t put too much pressure yourself.


14



I wish you had known my father he was such a good man gentle and loving. One early memory I have of him is that one night in our neighborhood I was hit by a bike - a boy was riding his bike and road up on the sidewalk and ran right into me. The bike hit me in the face with the handlebars and I was knocked down before I knew what happened. My father scooped me up and carried me back home. I was crying the whole time. the funny thing is I don't remember the pain, but I very clearly remember being in his arms and hearing the clip clop clip clop of his shoes. It was an after dinner walk - he was still in his suit from work and he had his loafers on and made a clip clop on the sidewalk I will never forget the feeling of being carried in his arms as he hurried back to the house to take care of me. I was in pain but I knew I would be OK. I miss him very much and I wish you knew him.


15



Build a treehouse together


8



Institute “Family Night” a screen-free night of games and fun and togetherness. Can use these times for conversations about things you want to address / teach. Maybe make theme nights and build around a lesson so it’s fun and enjoyable. Continue through school years.


4-6



Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.


2,3,4



You don’t owe me a thing. Live your life as you will. I will always love you.


18, 21



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


7-18



I hope you become more of yourself with every passing year. I love you so.


21



Being accountable means saying that I was responsible for making sure this did not happen - but it did happen. I accept the blame and an prepared to incur the consequences. I will work earnestly to earn back your trust and confidence. The opposite of accountability is to make excuses or blame someone else for your mistake.


10, 18



Read If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin. Young adult coming of age story.


14, 17



I heard a song today, “I love you to the bone” by Sammy Copley. It’s a beautiful story of a lifelong love. It’s my prayer for you that your spouse will have that song played at your funeral after you shared a 75 year- long happy marriage. It’s my prayer that your life is filled with love and laughter, and most importantly a partner who grows with you in all good things. And that you love each other to the bone.


21



Go to minor league baseball games this summer. Better seats, less crowds, easier, cheaper. Great players. Kids won't know the difference.


9-15



It’s fine to keep it simple when you pray: Thank You for __ I’m sorry for ___ Help me with ____ Keep _____ close to you You are awesome! I trust you.


14



People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.


16



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12