Here’s one definition of a saint: Someone who isn’t a jerk, doesn’t complain or whine when they’re sick or in pain.


15, 19



Bottom line bible quote: Psalm 37:3 “Trust in the LORD and do good.” That pretty much covers everything.


13, 21



Just let them be who they are. Enjoy getting to know them.


1-21



Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.


7-17



1

Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”


7, 8, 9, 13, 16



Action is the antidote to anxiety.


12, 14, 17, 21



Practice having difficult conversations. There’s no way to get around being on the giving or receiving end of unpleasant news such as breakups, firings, news of a loved one’s passing, etc. You need to get good at having hard conversations, or else you’ll end up in jobs and relationships you don’t want to be in.


15, 21



You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff


15, 21



Rock those babies to sleep as often as you can.


0, 1, 2



The universe is cheering for you!


14, 16, 18, 20



There is an expression “God only gives you what you can handle.” I think that’s backwards. I think that God gives you the grace you need to handle whatever comes your way. He is faithful and generous. I think that’s what “Be not afraid” means.


17



C.S. Lewis books. (Children’s and adult.)


12, 21



Build something beautiful.


13, 21



Do the work. No short-cuts.


14



When COVID started my first thought was “Holy sh*t Trump is going to cancel the 2020 election because of pandemic.” Thank God I was wrong.


15



I’m going to start you in Mathnasium or some other STEM (math) activity. Not because I want u to score high on your SAT but because I want You to be confident in your math skills you will use it every day and it will come in handy no matter what you choose to do for a living


7



Work on controlling temper. Read books about how to reach this at a young age and keep updating the conversation as he grows. He needs to be able to control his temper.


4-7



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Monty Python movies.


12-15



Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1


10



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



You can forgive someone without speaking to them. Or you can move on without forgiving. Closure isn’t necessary to moving on. The only thing necessary is to move. Move your body, change your perspective, go on a trip, go to a new coffee shop, just move.


16, 19, 21



Read books. Any kind. All kinds. It’s exercise for the brain and it feeds the soul. Start slow, that’s ok. As with many things, consistency beats speed.


6, 10, 13, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21



Mackinac Island trip


10



Be extra careful when you’re parking or pulling out of a driveway. It’s hard to see little kids or pets.


16



Kitchen Commandment: She who cooks the dinner shall not clean up from dinner. I don't want to raise any of you to take housework for granted. It's hard. It's unfair and not cool to expect anyone (parent, spouse, roommate, etc. )to wait on you.


7-18



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



Take the family on periodic “spending fasts.” As an exercise, go a day, a weekend or a week without spending any money. Make due with what you have. Encourage participation. Tie in spending fasts with holidays, lent or in support of a cause.


7



Promise me you’ll never intentionally hurt anyone (including yourself.) There’s no need to suffer in silence, I will help you or get you to someone who can help you no matter what, no matter when, no matter why.


13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18