The most attractive man in the world is one who brings peace.


21



“You matter to me.” Is a beautiful way to express your feelings when a relationship is new.


15, 17, 21



I think the term “find myself” simply means figuring out how much of what you do/think/want/believe/care about/ feel is there because some parents, siblings, family — or institutions — or ad campaigns — or political party, or whatever put it there and fed it, vs. how much ch of all that you present to the world and to yourself, is genuine…The good, the bad, and the ugly? (Go find yourself! Tell the rest of us to F off!) xoxo


18, 21



Grandpa always said everything boils down to how you treat people. Always treating people with kindness and respect is the most important lesson he wanted to get across to us.


12-21



People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?


11-14, 18, 21



Relationship advice: Is she interesting? You’ll spend more time with her than anyone in your life. Does she make you laugh? Will she make a good mom? Life is long. These are the things that matter.” -Paraphrased quote from Barack Obama


21



Not all babies are born healthy. There’s grief over that, a painful letting go of hopes and expectations, but eventually parents begin to dream different dreams for their baby. You have it within you to love deeply


21



Compassion: Acting with love when faced with another’s suffering.


16



Songs hit so much different (better) when you read the lyrics while listening. Headphones help heighten the experience too.


12, 14, 19, 21



Just remember sometimes you’re there for a good time but not a long time. Not every relationship (job, journey, experience) is meant to be permanent.)


15, 19, 21



Book: “victory. Stand!” By Tommie Smith


14



It's a skill to learn how to love people the way they need to be loved. I highly recommend reading the Five Love Languages.


18, 21



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



Find an activity / sport that they enjoy and support it. Get them outside and in the fresh air.


6-16



An album is like a book, meant to be taken as a whole. It tells a story, has its own vibe. Let’s listen to an album together every week.


12



When you’re struggling with something, you don’t know how you feel or why something is happening... Give it to the Lord. Entrust him with it. He will mold it and soften it so you’re able to process it.


19



Try silence. Just sit with it (problem/feeling/etc.) invite the problem to sit next to you and just be quiet. Five minutes every day for a week or two. Your solution will appear. Stop running and just sit with it.


16



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



There are all kinds of ways people end up destroying their lives in an attempt to cope with fear, loneliness, stress, grief, boredom or anxiety, etc. A few: Drug/alcohol addiction, gambling, shopping/ spending addiction, hoarding, sex addiction, fundamentalism/ extremist politics, workaholics, deadbeats. Nobody starts out trying to be an addict or a nut. It happens when you continually choose to avoid dealing with the pain or anxiety you’re feeling. Choices become habits. Habits can form addictions. That’s why it’s SO important to find healthy ways to deal with difficult feelings or situations. What makes you feel better when you’re upset? A shower, a run, music, a game, friends, quiet time, being outdoors ... There are lots of ways to take good care of your spirit. Keep choosing them. Ask for help when you’re not able to make good choices on your own.


14, 17, 19, 21



Roll-play confrontational situations so they can practice staying calm, not reacting in situations like road-rage, bullies, being screamed at by a boss or a customer.


11, 15, 17



Typically, brains aren’t mature until about age 25. ADHD brains take longer


17, 21



When you meet someone for the first time try to clear your mind of any assumptions about physical appearance. Race, gender, age, handicap/disability, etc.


17, 21



Key to a happy marriage: each of you must love and support the person in front of them. Not the person you married or the person you hope they will grow into. We all change and grow. Not all of it is for the better, especially our looks ha ha. We shouldn’t make our spouse feel obligated to stay the same person they were when we fell in love with them. In marriage as in business as in life: If you’re not growing you’re dying.


21



Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)


19



Kindness Confidence = Popular (Be kind to everyone, paying no attention to social status, age, looks, money or disability.) Be confident: Know that you are enough. You’ll never be perfect but no one else is either. When you mess up it’s not the end of the world- laugh at yourself when possible. Learn from failures. Don’t fake interest in people or things that don’t fill you up. Be who you are! People gravitate towards kindness and confidence


12



Give them the book Starfish by Lisa Fipps.


12, 14



Open a Bank Account


8-12



Be supportive of someone who is trying to better themselves.


16