“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.
Remember to $@!#% the switch when you’re stuck: If you’re all up in your head, sad or anxious, do something physical. If you’re down with a physical problem, dive into your mind for diversion and healing.
You are 100% replaceable at work. You are not replaceable at home. A good work ethic is crucial but don’t drain yourself to the point that you don’t have anything left for your family and friends.
It's very important to me, the idea of the scale of good and bad, of beauty and suffering. I think we should do everything we can to increase the beauty and to take away from the suffering. We have to work hard to tip the scale in the direction of good.
When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done…
Make yourself do it.
You’re never going to “feel like it.”
Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.
Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.
Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.
Try to avoid the temptation to reach a conclusion too quickly or cling to it too tightly.” (Paraphrasing James Comey from his book ’A Higher Loyalty,’ which I recommend as a fantastic lesson in leadership - and history, and public service.)
Remember your training and staying calm and kind is how you get through this. It’s all you need to excel. So do your homework, whatever it may be. Show up and have at it. Calm and kind, baby. You got this.
You can’t be a good parent if you’re a miserable person. Take care of yourself. Make the changes necessary to get in a good place. Ask for help. The happier you are, the happier they will be.