Grandpa used to describe injuries and medical procedures as “It’s a nothin.” I think of this every time I have to endure something painful.


14, 18



Journal! I forget who said it but it’s so true: we don’t know how we think until we see what we say. Talking into a voice memo app or writing in a journal will help you process and grow.


13, 15, 19, 21



When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask: Was I fair? Was I kind? Did I put in the work? If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well. If an answer is “No,” then fix it.


16



If you can’t afford to tip the server, you can’t afford to be there.


15



Like Cindy Crawford said, "I eat anything I want … I just don't eat as much as I want." Be mindful of portions. No need to eliminate the junk food but keep it to a minimum.


17, 21



When disciplining remember: First acknowledge the emotion, then address the behavior.


2-4, 13, 15



1

Eat at a local restaurant tonight. Get the cream sauce. Have a cold pint at 4 o’clock in a mostly empty bar. Go somewhere you’ve never been. Listen to someone you think may have nothing in common with you. Order the steak rare. Eat an oyster. Have a Negroni. Have two. Be open to a world where you may not understand or agree with the person next to you, but have a drink with them anyways. Eat slowly. Tip your server. Check in on your friends. Check in on yourself. Enjoy the ride." - Anthony Bourdain


18, 21



Go on a tour of the Kennedy Center. Free guided tours through Friends of the Kennedy Center.


10



True masculinity is vulnerable, compassionate and confident. Vulnerability takes courage. Kindness/compassion takes strength. Confidence: when you’re not really interested in what others think about you. It’s a natural byproduct of living in line with your own values and priorities.


11, 14, 16, 19, 21



Follow love and kindness wherever they may take you and you’ll be fine. xoxo


13, 17, 21



You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



“Be curious. Read. Use the latest tools available to you.” - Bill Gates when asked for his advice to young people in the dawn of AI era.


12, 14, 16, 18



Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.


15, 17, 21



Set up automatic payments so they are initiated on your end, so that you send out money to the bill/ company you’re paying instead of giving them access to take money out of your account.


20



There is nothing “basic” about basic human dignity. Never treat a person as though they are put on this earth for your amusement. Everyone deserves to be treated with dignity because we’re all human beings. No matter their age, looks, status, even past wrongdoing, everyone deserves to be treated with dignity.


14



No threats, not even jokingly.


15



Just focus on shining on your own terms. Your shine is not dependent on anyone or anything else.


15



Make yourself a good hand. Don't wait to be asked, just jump in when you see a need. Wash a dish, make a bed, change a tire, help out a friend or a stranger whenever you can.


14-20



Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.


14, 21



Surprise! You’re not perfect. No one is. Do your best, but don’t expect perfection from yourself or any other human, young or old. Have compassion...We’re all in this together and we need each other to be kind and encouraging.


17, 21



“If the pain was deep you will have to let it go many times.” Yung Pueblo from book Lighter


15, 18, 21



90 seconds or less. No one wants to hear you talk for more than that. (In a personal setting like giving a toast.)


17, 21



Golf lessons this year. Your grandpa loved golf. He tried to teach me when he first got sick, and those are some of my best memories of him. Great way to get fresh air and exercise too.


11



Read or listen to The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest.


17, 21



Watch awards shows (Oscars, Grammy's, Tony's, ESPY's, Image Awards and CNN Heroes awards.) Be a part of your times, appreciate others' accomplishments. Be inspired.


8-18



To calculate military time starting at 1300, subtract 12.


15



Psalm 37:3 “Do good and trust in the Lord.” That pretty much covers it.


9, 15, 21



Read (or listen to) A Fragile Stone together.


15



My biggest mistake was thinking that my life had to follow a singular path: college, marriage, kids, stay at home mom. I never imagined any other path: career, travel. I never questioned my assumptions. Never doubted that my way was the only path to happiness. It wouldn’t have occurred to my parents to teach me anything else, to encourage me to imagine a hundred different choices. But I’d like to encourage you. Take your talents, interests, passion, and potential out for a spin. See what sits right with you, where you feel most alive and most safe and most yourself. Feed your body, mind, heart and soul. I love you so much.


18, 21