Don’t give up on your dreams, but remember there will be plenty of times when you have to tweak them a bit…or a lot. I think of all the couples who were slated to get married in 2020. They either postponed or scrapped the big wedding for a backyard ceremony and bbq. How many brides had to *massively* shift heir vision and let go of what they assumed their wedding would look like. This happened to my friend and she cried and cried, of course. It was a big disappointment. But then she and her fiancé had the most charming backyard ceremony. It was small but so romantic.Now she says she wouldn’t change a thing about her wedding. I’ve got a silly example from my own dreams. I had long hoped to spend my 50th birthday on Maui with friends and family all staying at the Four Seasons. Fifty happened during Covid so I moved my dream celebration to sixty. And then come to find out tourism isn’t considered a good thing by locals in Hawaii, so will choose a different destination where tourism is encouraged and sustainable. I’m still dreaming my dream, even it looks different than I thought it would. All this to say, don’t lose heart when stuff happens and your plans are upended. Be honest about your disappointment about what’s been lost, but then be open to opportunities this new turn of events brings with it. There are always blessings hidden among heartbreak.


13, 17, 21



Sometimes rejection is God’s protection. If u worked hard and gave it your all and still missed the bus, that bus wasn’t yours. Read The Artist’s Way.


17



Plastic stackable dresser - 5 drawers labeled for days of the week. Put outfits in each. No drama emergencies on school days, the week’s wardrobe is planned out.


5



It’s okay if you don’t know how (or don’t want) to move on. Start with something easier…just don’t go back.


16



In social situations it's better to talk too little than too much. Don't over-share with people you're not close to.


15



Two years after Trump lost re-election I still struggle to understand how anyone could support him, to say nothing of work for him. But then it came to me: being close to power is intoxicating. It makes people feel important and accepted, which are things very few of us ever, though we all long to, feel. I recalled how very much I longed for this type of acceptance for most of my career. I *loved* being included in meetings with the CEO. I loved having a access and influence. It was so validating, so satisfying! Looking back I’m embarrassed, even ashamed about how much of a fan girl I was. (Don’t get me wrong! Ambition and drive are good things! But I was more concerned with being perceived as important than I was in substance or actual effort.) All this to say, be mindful of the lure of being in the “it” group. We all crave the acceptance and approval. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a seat at the table, just pay more attention to be table than the seat. If you had a chance to work in the Whitehouse for Donald Trump, would you? Would you trade your values for power?


15, 21



“Bullies are scared people hiding inside scary people.” -Michelle Obama


8-12



College: you’re gonna do great! You’re also probably gonna want to quit at some point during your first year. Totally normal. If you decide college isn’t for you or now isn’t the right time, okay. But give it a year if you can. You’ll thank yourself later.


17



Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.


7



“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.


15, 21



Read Big Magic by Liz Gilbert. Re-read every 5-10 years.


19, 21



Just because someone is an a-hole it doesn’t mean they’re wrong.


17, 21



Worry less about molding them and focus on loving them.


2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 17, 18, 19, 21



Plants eat sunlight. Eat mostly plants.


14, 17, 21



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



1

Venting is crucial but not always appropriate. Make sure you’re in the right place (no chance whatsoever of being overheard), the right time (take care of business first) and that the person you’re unloading on has the mental bandwidth to listen to you vent your emotions. Avoid interrupting if they’re busy, or not in a good headspace. You’ll know this because you asked.


14, 17, 21



Clip nails after bath. It’s easier to do when they’re softer. (Teach them the same thing when they’re old enough to do it for themselves.)


1, 10



Trust me when I tell you that one day you’ll look back and realize you judged people unfairly and you held strong to convictions only to end up changing your mind about in the light of life experience. Leave a little space open for second impressions or the possibility that you could be wrong.


17



Put down your phone and be in the moment. Teach this. Model this.


7



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



Start a vegetable garden.


7



Learning to keep your composure and maintain a respectful tone when you’re frustrated/angry/afraid/upset, etc. is a skill. PRACTICE it.


4, 5, 6, 7, 10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Led Zeppelin, Queen, The Who, Lynyard Skynard. Listen with headphones, listen alone, listen with friends. So many more good bands but if you start with these you’ll be well on your way.


15, 17, 21



Before a play date or sleepover ask the parent “Are there any unlocked guns in the house?”


6-9



ADHD hack for studying or projects- Leave yourself notes about where you left off.


13, 21



Devotion is revealed by behavior, not intention.


15, 17, 21



You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.


1-4



I get it. It’s exhausting when they’re little. But you will never be so needed or so loved as you are during these years.


2, 3, 4



No matter how smart you are or how much you know, you still don’t know everything. ALWAYS be willing to learn and to change your position when faced with new information or perspective.


15, 20