“You have to meet people where they are. Sometimes, you have to leave them there.” -Iyanla Vanzant
21
You an learn just about anything on Google or YouTube! Spend some time exploring together and caution about how to search safely.
9
“Success is liking who you are, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” - Maya Angelou
13, 15, 21
Find what you love Do what you love Be what you love Live what you love Love what you love and never look back ... Except to love.
19
My mom did laundry twice a week: Tuesdays and Saturdays. She separated colors! It never piled up and we all had clean clothes. I do laundry daily, it's never done and we can't find what we need. Ask Grandma what was her secret to the science of laundry. Because it's now your job to do all your own laundry!
14
When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.
8-18
Write your own job description. When you've been around long enough to know what you're good at and can identify what needs in the company you can help with.
21
It’s best not to cuss but writing bad words is even worse than speaking them. Even in casual texting, etc. Always an asterisk in place of a vowel to avoid being rude.
16
An album is like a book, meant to be taken as a whole. It tells a story, has its own vibe. Let’s listen to an album together every week.
12
Be appreciative of people’s time. Send thank you notes after interviewing and applying for jobs, scholarships, etc. even if you don’t get picked. It’s common courtesy and it’s a good way to make a good impression for next time.
18, 20
Just let a sweet moment be. There’s a time for jokes or small talk, but sometimes silence is best.
15,21
Watch awards shows (Oscars, Grammy's, Tony's, ESPY's, Image Awards and CNN Heroes awards.) Be a part of your times, appreciate others' accomplishments. Be inspired.
8-18
It’s hard to know how to support a friend who is grieving, but it’s a priceless skill / attribute. Some people just are naturally know what to say, but for the rest of us, it can be learned. If you don’t know what to say, just stay silent but be present. Or try something like “I’m so sorry.” Be mindful not to turn away because their pain makes you uncomfortable. Send a text just “thinking of you.” Grief takes a lot of energy and focus, and there’s not much you can (or should) do to help someone process their pain. So lessen their burden by taking some of the stupid everyday life stuff off their plate: Walk the dog, make a meal, make sure there’s food, clean clothes, toilet paper, etc. Help with school or work stuff if possible. Check in often but take your queue from them. Some people want company while others want solitude. Everyone processes pain and grief differently. Don’t force your way on them. Offer to look at pictures or hear stories about the person they lost. This time is about them, so avoid any comparisons with how what they’re going through is similar to something you or someone else went through, unless it was the exact same thing: Telling someone who lost a child that you understand their pain because your grandmother died last year is not okay. People mean well but they say really stupid sh*t sometimes. (If you ever say something that may have caused pain, just acknowledge it, apologize for it, and move on from it.)There are lots of resources. Grief is so isolating. You can’t make their pain go away, but that’s okay. You’re job isn’t to ‘cheer them up’ it’s to ‘keep showing up.’ Read up on current literature, there are tons of great resources.
19
Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.
7
I want you to remember that for the first three years of your life I couldn’t take a poop without you on my lap. So there will be no shirking hugs from Mom now that you’re a teenager. xoxo
14
Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.
12
Watch YouTube video on how to administer an Epi-pen injection. You have friends with allergies you may need to know how to do this.
11-15
Have a yearly “review” right before school year. Raise allowance as appropriate. If they want more money, they’ll have to take on more responsibilities.
7-17
Your sex life should be safe, happy, healthy and consensual. It may or may include going all the way. There’s no rush, every relationship is different. You should feel safe and so should your partner. A lot will be a mystery but you should feel safe. You should be able to trust that your partner won’t intentionally hurt you, emotionally or physically. If you don’t trust your partner to keep you safe, get out.
17
“Those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything.” -George Bernard Shaw...... As you live and love and learn, your views will evolve. It takes courage to grow.
16
Have dinner guests sign the under side of the dining room table. Let the kids’ friends sign too - or have their own version of a guestbook - the inside of a cabinet or the basement door, etc.
5, 12-14