“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Save where you can. Spend when you have to. Splurge every once in a while.


15, 21



Poems are great tools to help them to read, recite, practice handwriting, and illustrate.


7



Check out fencing. Local fencing club has classes for kids and adults all ages. They also do birthday parties, so that might be something different that would be fun for him and his friends.


10



"The only way to work through sh*tty feelings is to walk through sh*tty feelings." - Psychologist Kristen Howe Hard lesson, but big truth.


15



None of us should ever have to apologize for being who we are.


10, 14, 21



Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”


7, 8, 9, 13, 16



Check out the Wolf Trap Children's summer theater.


4-11



Wintergreen snow sledding trip.


6



"Tough times don't last. Tough people do."


11-14



You are a miracle. Take good care of yourself: Mind, body and soul.


21



“Open your eyes and see what you can, until they close forever.” - All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Dorr. See the world! Learn science, appreciate art and books, meet people and be genuinely interested in them. Engage in the fight for justice, resist fascism and dictators. Share what you have and who you are. Putting up walls is a waste of time. Yes, there will be pain. But you will be able to face it with grace, grit, courage and with the love of others. Make love! But remember if they’re too drunk to drive, they’re too drunk to consent. And be sure you’re both on the same page so you can avoid misunderstandings and hurt feelings (yours and theirs). Don’t kiss and tell. Be protective but never possessive. Just be a man, you know? (man/woman/grownup human.) Be safe - $@!#% is forever.


15, 16, 17, 18, 21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



You don’t have to lower your standards, just lower your walls.


12, 15, 21



"Love is nothing more and nothing less than relentlessly showing up for your people." - Glennon Doyle


18-21



Ask them to name 2 current or historical figures that they admire and why (one man one woman).


6-18



“When it comes to consequences, don’t speak what you won’t serve.” Meaning don’t threaten any punishment you’re not willing to enforce. This is helpful in terms of teaching the child a lesson and also an important lesson in not shooting yourself in the foot. (I took away your tv one day you were home on a snow day. Bad idea. That punishment was against my own interest! I got no work done.


2



Never pretend o know what you don’t know. But you can bluff your way through a lot of interviews just by doing a 30 minute Google search. Research the company, the industry, its governing body, key terms, awards, criticism, etc. Check out their social media.


17, 19, 21



Better to be a little hungry than too full.


15, 21



Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


17



When you apologize don’t offer excuses just acknowledge your mistake, apologize for the consequences, and assure them it won’t happen again.


12, 16, 21



Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.


8



Take out your aggression on inanimate things, never on people or animals.


9



Always know where the main water shut-off is in your house.


18



Toddlers fall... a lot. Most falls are harmless but sometimes bad accidents happen. Head injuries are scary because they bleed and swell. If bleeding doesn't stop within a few minutes or you can see it's a big gash, head to the urgent care. And remember if the swelling goes out (“goose egg”) that’s a good thing: Better out than in.


2



If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done… Make yourself do it. You’re never going to “feel like it.” Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.


9, 12, 15, 21



You can love someone and still not tolerate their abuse. Protect your peace and safety.


17, 21



You’re gonna want to quit, many times. Whether it’s a job, a marriage, a degree, a cause… whatever. I have no way of knowing whether or not you should quit, just know that feeling like you want to quit is normal when you hit a setback or disappointment, or rejection or betrayal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to feel that way forever. Sometimes it’s best to cut your losses, sometimes it’s better to stick it out. Treat yourself with patience and compassion while you consider what’s best.


14, 17, 21



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



Following your conscience is more important than getting ahead and will make a greater difference in how happy you are. Getting ahead or not isn’t entirely up to you, but listening to your conscience is.” - Senator Mitt Romney (paraphrase)


16