“It’s not your job to make people love you. It’s your job to show people who you are and allow them the opportunity to love you, if they want to. If they don’t, please just let them walk away. They were probably going to walk away anyway, they were just sticking around to see if you’d beg a little bit. Don’t even give them that. Let them go. You’re not a shape shifter. You’re not going to turn into the version of yourself that you think would be more lovable by the person you are trying to be loved by. That’s not love, that’s exhausting.” -Elyse Myers, one of my favorite Tiktokers. You deserve to be loved for who you genuinely are. I wish I’d read this when I was young. Would’ve saved me years of pain and frustration.


16-21



Google the “tea metaphor” for a discussion about consent.


17



Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



Recipe for happiness that stands the test of time: Be who you are, and figure out how you are uniquely equipped to serve.


15, 21



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


6



1

Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.


14, 16, 20, 21



Life is for the living. It’s okay to move on. It’s okay to laugh and dream, work, to party, to rest rest, etc. you honor the dead by living your life. Everyone meets up in the end anyway!


19, 21



Slip and Slide party!


8



You can get into big trouble (with school and the law) even by fake / joke threats of violence (bomb threat, etc.) No jokes or pranks that have anything to do with violence.


11



“The only way out is to love yourself. That’s it. That’s all.” - Valerie Bertinelli


10, 13, 17, 21



Seek / Accept job offers that teach you something valuable. Now isn’t the time in your life to worry about the money or status. Get experience! Have fun, learn, grow, challenge yourself and try new things.


15-20



Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower.”


14



Watch the documentary Kelce (2023)


12



Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear


15, 21



Practice “doing without” (or “going without.”). Even young kids can learn the concept. Nobody get everything they want. Sometimes it’s harder than others, but it’s not the end of the world when we have to do without something we want.


4-11



Numbing doesn’t work. Let it hurt, let it heal, then it lets itself go.


15,21



We can learn, we can evolve. Let yourself be moved by the spirit. More beauty, more service, more humanity, deeper (or questioned) faith, more love. Always more love. That’s the best I can hope for: that you live a life full of love.


21



You’re going to be okay if your relationship ends. You were a whole person before them and you’ll be a whole person after. - therapy Jeff


15, 21



Listen to Celebrate Calm podcasts for help dealing with defiance.


4, 9, 15



Actions have consequences- so does inaction. Avoiding a problem or decision is not an effective solution.


18



Ask”How can I be a better parent to you?” Listen.


1Infant-18



Watch TED talk on Rejection Therapy: “What I learned from 100 days of rejection | Jia Jiang”


15, 21



The Paradoxical Commandments by Keith Kent: 1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centred. Love them anyway. 2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. 3. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway. 4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway. 5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. 6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway. 7. People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway. 8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. 9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway. 10. Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.


14, 17, 21



Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.


14, 18, 21



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



No bragging. Don’t toot your own horn.


11, 15, 21



Be on the lookout for people who are not included and reach out. There was a girl in my 8th grade class who was pregnant. Nobody talked to her, including me. Looking back, I regret that deeply. How scared and alone she must have been. She could have used a friend. I wish I would have asked her to sit by me at lunch or talked to her about homework or something.


11-13



Read Thanks for the Feedback by Heen and Stone. Crucial for ADHD and rejection sensitivity. Wish I had it when I was about to launch into my career!


15, 19, 21



We feel best when we create. No amount of food, video games or any self-destructive habits will fill that hole. So why fight it?!? Create something, even if it’s as small as a little sketch or poem. Grow a garden, bake a cake. Start a business! Whatever your beautiful heart desires.


12, 15, 18, 21



They are looking for your support, not your solutions. Applies to all ages.


2, 3, 4, 8, 11, 13, 16, 18, 20, 21