Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.
21
When they confide in you or tell you something that makes them so vulnerable u don’t know what to tell them, just sat “I’m so glad you told me.” (You’re not alone, I heard you, I’m here and will stay with you until it’s resolved.) re-ticket yearly.
9
Sex is not an act, it’s a pool. Stay in the shallow end for as long as possible. Have fun. Be safe. Be respectful.
15
Jump in and help where help is needed. Don’t wait to be asked. Whether it’s clearing dishes at home or friend’s house or tasks at work. It could be something big like solves problem or little, putting paper in the copy machine at work.
15, 18. 21
Play up your strengths. What are your strengths? What are you really good at or love doing?
13, 17, 21
Don’t waste your time with anyone who doesn’t love you for exactly who you are. Move on, because there is someone out there who will!
17
The Buddhists say “life is suffering.” I think struggle might be a better word. Struggle is unavoidable, and it would do us good to stop expecting otherwise. And yes, everybody experiences pain and loss, etc. but I don’t believe we should expect our lives to be full of suffering.
17, 21
Ability is distributed equally across all demographics, geniuses, artists, musicians etc. are not more likely to be born in a rich community-but they are far more likely to emerge from one with their gift’s having been nurtured. Ability is evenly distributed but accessibility is not. How many lives could be saved if the brilliant surgeon never gets to college? It’s a core mission of mine to do my part to help change that so that all children can realize their dreams if they work for it. No locked gates!
12, 18, 21
My biggest regret is wasting my energy on people who didn’t think much of me. You can’t make someone love you. It’s a mystery what brings people together. You didn’t do anything wrong, you just need to let go and spend your light on people who bask in it.
17
No one knows what they’re doing. Just be kind and brave and curious. You don’t have to have it figured out.
17
Give your all on the job, from your first day to your last day there. If you’re all caught up on your work help someone else with theirs.
17, 21
The app "Bark" detects messaging containing cyber-bullying, sexting, signs of depression or suicidal thoughts, etc.
11
The version of you that will handle whatever problem comes your way will be born into existence in the moment when it happens. Trust your future self to handle future challenges.
12, 15, 21
Sometimes good people aren’t a good match. It’s better for both of you if you’re honest with yourself and with them.
17, 21
Technology doesn’t remove the expectation of good behavior. Be mindful of your manners (and all of our collective humanity) when posting on social media. And no anonymous trolling. If you’re not prepared to sign your name to what you’re putting out there, that’s a good indication you shouldn’t be doing it.
13, 20
Start a tradition of asking them to memorize and recite a poem or famous speech for a gift for Mother’s Day, Christmas, etc. Start small with the little ones, expand as they get older.
8
You are always responsible for how you act, no matter what you’re feeling. (Or whether you’re drunk or in any way impaired.) Hammer this point home for the next 10 years!
13
Great quote from a divorce coach: “Your life is bigger than one man.” Your life IS bigger than one relationship. Or one job.
16, 18, 21
Tragedy may occur in your life, but it does not need to define your life. YOU get to do that...through the choices you make. _______I know you’ll make good ones. xo
19
Things are rarely perfect, but things that are less-than-ideal aren't all bad to the same degree. Let's talk about making buckets for "not ideal but I can put up with it" and "deal-breaker." Works for all kinds of situations. Another variation of this is to grade the suckiness of a situation on a scale of 1-10. Have them decide at what point action is needed vs. just putting up with it. This one works well for hunger. Yes, you're hungry, but on a scale of 1-10, how hungry? It also works for relationships! There are plenty of things about a spouse that are less than ideal, but how many are true deal-breakers? Teach them to understand the difference.
5, 21