Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they feel loved by you. Meet the kids where they are.


2, 9, 21



There will be some losses or changes that completely shake you to the core. But remember that some bad experiences are like pooping your pants - Totally horrible but also kind of a relief.


19



Talk about what patterns of abuse look like. Teach them to recognize red flags like love-bombing, isolating from friends and family, controlling behavior and threats of violence and/or self-harm.


14, 16, 20, 21



Theme this year: Self Control (Repeat every year until age 99)


6



Look up crowd cow for meat delivery.


10



Kitchen knife skills. Know how to properly and safely cut, slice, chop, dice, carve, etc.


15, 21



Trying to avoid the real work makes the task 100 times harder. Do the work.


9, 15, 21



Go for walks together as a family before or after dinner. Sometimes we go for distance, sometimes we call them "safaris" and look for as many living creatures as we can find.


4



The biggest mistake I *never* made was in 1997. I was working two jobs: nurse and waitress. I was having an extremely difficult time in the nursing job. I struggled to understand it and made mistakes despite working long hard hours. My waitressing job was hard too, but it was fun! A great group of fun young people, we hung out and bonded. I was crushing hard on the bartender too! I decided to quit my nursing job and wait tables full time. (I had TWO college degrees at the time.) Not sure exactly what made me change my mind, but I didn’t do it. Instead I quit the restaurant (probably because I was heartbroken over the bartender!) and enrolled in graduate school. Kept my nursing job. There I met lifelong friends, and went on to be nursing director. That waitressing job was my escape hatch. The best I could imagine for myself was waiting tables full time! What a small SMALL world view. While I am VERY glad I didn’t quit the nursing job I hated, because that’s how I got you, I wish I had imagined a bigger, better option than waiting tables full time if I felt that I needed to quit nursing. Peace Corps, move to the city, SOMETHING brave and bold and exciting. All this is to say - widen your vision. There’s so much more to life than what is directly in front of you. Be bold. Be brave. I love you.


17, 20



“Remember Divas and Friends, if you don’t think good things about yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?” - Sheryl Lee Ralph


11, 12. 14. 16, 17, 19, 21



Discuss the concept that “It’s not always about you.” Some days need to be about supporting someone else in their joy - or sorrow. Your needs take a backseat.


11, 14, 17



I highly recommend you read The Crane Wife by CJ Houser.


15, 17, 19, 21



Learn to recover from life’s stresses intentionally and thoughtfully. Practice listening for what your body needs in that moment. And then go get it.


10, 13, 17, 21



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Replace “but” with “and.” “I love you but...” Becomes “I love you and that’s why...” etc.


9



Practice staying calm under pressure. The pop-up game “Perfection” is a fun way.


10, 12, 15, 17, 21



Not knowing what you’re doing is a lot less terrifying than not knowing who to trust.


14, 19, 21



“Praise in public. Discipline in private.” This is good advice for when you’re a parent and for when you’re a boss.


20



Teach car maintenance: Adding air to tires, checking oil, etc.


13-17



“Where you stand depends on where you sit.” It means your personal situation informs your stance on issues. Try to imagine how you’d vote if you were sitting at a less privileged place.


15, 21



Save where you can. Spend when you have to. Splurge every once in a while.


15, 21



Go to Montgomery County Fair


5-14



Don’t worry if they’re not listening to what you say...They watch what you do. They study it.


13



An exercise in assumption. Have them answer “Just because I _______” doesn’t mean _________”.


10



Make sure they have resources other than us. Hotlines for teens such as Boys Town National Hotline, National $@!#% Prevention Lifeline, etc.


12



Resist the urge to give unsolicited advice. Wait…this entire thing is unsolicited advice!


15



Instead of focusing on finding love, focus on DOING what you love. When you're thriving and in your element Love will find YOU. Besides, love isn't just about finding the right person it's about being the right person.


17-19



Make a Shutterfly book for each year and give it to them on their birthday.


5-18



Talk about what’s normal and what’s abnormal reactions to alcohol and drugs. Basically all kinds of feels from euphoria to paranoia to jealousy or infatuation, etc. Getting sick is normal but blacking out is not. *Anything that could interfere with breath or circulation is dangerous.


13, 15, 17



I don’t buy Mallomars. But Santa does. Another Christmas stocking tradition is chicken flickin. Rubber chickens you shoot like rubber bands.


5, 21