Teach how to carve a turkey.


15



You’re gonna be misunderstood a lot. Some people just won’t like you. It’s okay. Wish them well and let it go.


10, 13, 16, 21



One of my favorite scenes in a movie is James Bond with Pierce Brosnan. Bullets are whizzing by him and he just so of gives a mildly annoyed look while focusing on what he’s doing. It’s quintessential cool.


15, 21



Listen to Celebrate Calm podcasts for help dealing with defiance.


4, 9, 15



Intimacy is a feeling of safety. To let yourself be seen, touched, known, without defenses.


17, 21



Go easy on the cologne, perfume, scented lotions, etc. People shouldn't be able to smell your perfume a mile away, only up close. Also, it's generally not appropriate for work.


17



Read Admiral William McRaven’s autobiography Sea Stories.


17



Girls forget a good bit of compliments they receive but they remember every single insult. Speak gently, remind them they’re beautiful. Never qualify it.


12, 14, 17



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



Happiness: Someone (or some creature) to love, something to do and something to hope for. Don’t get too caught up in the rat race, money doesn’t mean you’ve arrived.


20



Bedtime often goes to sh*t in a hurry because kids are tired and parents are out of patience. Be kind. If your kids are anything like you, they’ll need extra tenderness at bedtime: cuddles, soft words, prayers. Forgiveness for the ridiculous tantrums over silly stuff. Take pity on them, their little bodies are tired and they haven’t learned how to function on empty.


1-4



Be discerning about your sources of information. Some red flags: Too good to be true. Get rich quick. Chosen race. Any race or group blamed for societal problems. Fear of change. Threats of real or metaphysical harm (I.e. $@!#%) or bribes with reward.


12, 14, 16. 18, 21



We all have dark thoughts and moods every once in a while. That’s part of being human. But any sustained ideation or inclination to hurt yourself or someone else is a red flag and needs mental health intervention.


12, 14, 17, 21



Go to movie Star Wars


12



Sometimes big stuff happens. Big good, big bad, big change. It will take some time to adjust. Maybe a month, a season, a semester or maybe a year or longer. Gear up. Psych yourself up for a difficult day/month/year. You can do this. Stay present, don’t get ahead of yourself or get bogged down in what’s done. “What if?” and “if-only’s” are not your friends. Be good to yourself and be good to others. Rest, nourish, create, have fun and keep the faith.


15, 21



Always hold the door open for the next person.


4-14



“Natural” deodorant doesn’t work. Go with trusted brands here. There are times when it’s fine not to look your best, but stinky is never okay.


13, 18



Find one or two scary documentaries on the dangers of gambling. Watch together. Betting on sports is a big thing in some schools and I want to scare the $@!#% out of him about how bad gambling can screw up his life. Check online tools from gamblers anonymous.


15



Let it go. They’re going to make really stupid choices. I drank AND smoked in high school. We all go through it. They need to be able to trust you and rely on you. They’re navigating the world and they need a safe harbor. Be that safe harbor. It’s more important than fighting over stupid behavior. Let them know you don’t approve - sure, but fighting over stupid stuff is just going to make you both bitter.


14, 15, 16, 17



Once or twice a year my parents would clean all the walls and baseboards in the house. Every time I smell Murphy’s Oil Soap I think of that. They mostly separated work around traditional gender roles but only insofar as that’s what they liked. Mom had no desire to work in the yard, Dad didn’t like to cook (until he got a bread machine for his retirement!) They often worked together on big tasks no matter inside or outside. Teamwork! And clean walls.


21



Explain what “On my honor” means.


8



Get really clear about what you want so that you’ll be able to recognize it when it’s here. Get really clear on the kind of relationship you want so that you can realize when it’s not with the person you’re seeing.


17, 21



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



"Make yourself proud." Teach them to take pride in themselves - in their work, their behavior. Everything from a 3 year-old making her bed to a 10 year-old's homework. If they learn to keep going until they're satisfied it's done well, they won't need us to keep after them.


4



If you can afford to send flowers when a baby is born or when someone dies, do so.


21



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



“All the best things in life live on the other side of fear.” - Will Smith’s grandmother.


20



Talk about how to act respectfully and be inclusive of children with disabilities and facial deformities, etc.


5-10