“You don’t emerge from $@!#% empty-handed” a friend once told me. Even the worst periods of your life will bring gifts. Be thankful for those gifts, and enjoy them.
19
Book “Rainbow Relatives” is a great resource to be able to kindly, accurately and sensitively answer their questions about LGBTQ families.
6
Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.
13. 17, 19, 21
IMPORTANT: If you borrow money from someone pay it back as soon as possible. In full. If you borrow an item, return it in excellent condition. I’d say if you borrow a car, return it with a full tank of gas but hopefully by the time you’re driving there won’t be any combustible engines. So return it fully charged!
12, 14, 16, 21
Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.
14, 19, 21
Healing doesn’t mean becoming the best version of yourself. It’s learning to love even the worst parts about yourself.
17, 21
Some men think if they just act like a total $@!#% then people will assume they’re uber intelligent. Just because someone is scary it doesn’t mean he’s scary smart.
15, 21
There are always blessings hidden within heartbreak: a friend you would never have met otherwise, an opportunity that would never have come up, an experience, an encounter, a promotion, etc. Always look for the blessings.
9, 11, 18, 21
When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.
18, 21
“The Guy in the Glass” poem by Dale Wimbrow_______ When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,__ And the world makes you King for a day,___ Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,___ And see what that guy has to say. ____ For it isn’t your Father, or Mother, or Wife,____ Who judgement upon you must pass. The feller whose verdict counts most in your life____ Is the guy staring back from the glass. He’s the feller to please, never mind all the rest, For he’s with you clear up to the end, And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test If the guy in the glass is your friend. You may be like Jack Horner and “chisel” a plum, And think you’re a wonderful guy, But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum If you can’t look him straight in the eye. You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, And get pats on the back as you pass, But your final reward will be heartaches and tears If you’ve cheated the guy in the glass.
15
Be the kind of man that people feel safe around. Safe from harm, safe from judgment and safe from ridicule.
17
I don’t buy Mallomars. But Santa does. Another Christmas stocking tradition is chicken flickin. Rubber chickens you shoot like rubber bands.
5, 21
Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.
19, 21
“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa
16, 21
There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, it's trite and too simple. It's almost insulting. But without discounting the real pain behind your problems, I encourage you to practice exactly what it says. There's no need (or way) to forget about your problems, but you CAN change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord. Meditate on God's power, His (Her/Their) goodness, patience, his grace, his beauty, and most of all, his love. Hard to do? Yes, maybe at first. But how much time do you spend thinking about what is causing you pain? (I have a talent for perseverating on it. I go over and over and over how I was wronged or why I failed, or how I could have said it differently.) no matter how much time I spend, I don't feel any better! If you learn to take half the time you would spend thinking about your [very real] pain, and focus on God's goodness, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. It's not even about praying for help, or blessings, etc. Just think about how infinitely GOOD He is: Artist, scientist, parent, environmentalist, creator, healer, friend, forgiving judge, patient teacher. Loving father. Christ, the human face of God, is saying "Look right here. Hold on tight to me. I know. I love you. I've got you." Practice shifting your focus and you'll get better and better at it. The pain WILL fade. Your heart will fill with light. Age 15 Faith
15
I just want to to know that I didn’t know what the $@!#% I was doing. It’s a miracle you turned out so beautifully! Just know you don’t have to have it all figured out. You’re going to have a wonderful life. xoxo - Mom
21
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Some days it feels like your world is falling apart, but what's really happening is that it's falling into place. Make good choices. Be kind. Be brave. Trust.
15, 21
“It’s alright to be yourself. There ARE people in this world who will love you.” -Fred Rogers
12, 14, 17, 21
Let your toddler brush your teeth. Goes a long way to them letting you brush theirs and it gives them a sense of autonomy and control.
2,3,4