I hope you never abandon yourself to be loved or accepted by someone else. They’re not getting the real you and you’re missing out on the experience of being loved and accepted just as you are.


16,21



Assume any email or text you send will be distributed.


12, 15



Avoid bird seed or pet food near your home. It attracts mice, rats, ticks, etc. keep bird feeders that use seed a good distance from the house. Try liquid feeders near windows. Or use a feed tray or hulled seeds (little waste.)


20



Teach them that when we hear sirens it means someone is in trouble but help is on the way.


2-5



“Dress braver than you feel. Act braver than you feel.” - Ray


17



Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.


13-16



Imagine your mind as a really cool nightclub, and you get to be the bouncer out in front. There's a VIP line, and then there's a regular line just everyday people, good, bad, otherwise. The VIPs are feelings. Every single feeling is allowed in, should they choose to come in. We just ask their name, and we treat them with kindness. If they want to talk, we talk. If they don't want to talk, we don't make them talk. We greet them, and we're ready to listen to them. Now, with the other line, the crowd that is everybody, good, bad, and otherwise— that is the line of thoughts that are trying to get into our mind. And some of those, you can take one look at and just say, keep moving, bud. Nope. Some, you're like, oh yeah, you, automatically, you know, just gorgeous, go in, go in. Yes, absolutely. Keep going. Some you have to talk to. Some you have to wait. Some you can kick to the curb immediately. Not all thoughts are welcome just because they're there. All feelings are welcome. All thoughts are not. You are the bouncer.


10, 12, 14, 16, 19, 21.



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7, 1Infant-12



Dress to people will listen to you, not look at you. (This is especially true at school and work.)


15, 18, 21



Make a deal: flying lessons IF he takes dancing lessons. A man has got to know how to dance! In fact, tack on some other prerequisites like good grades and responsible behavior


16



Honestly I think all religions are at least fifty percent bull pucky and none of them come close to reflecting the loving nature of God, which is broader and deeper than our little brains can grasp. So pick your poison. Whatever religion feels like home, like a place that can provide context for you to explore the goodness and beauty at the heart of the universe…that’s the religion for you. And if no religion fits the bill, that’s fine too. Either way, always remember and keep coming back to the knowledge that you are so very loved.


16, 21



Sometimes there’s nothing else to do with the pain except to use it to build a new life.


13. 17, 19, 21



You can’t ask someone to change who they are before you live or accept them.


12, 15, 21



Read “Lighter” by Yung Pueblo. Read it every year.


17, 19, 21



Institute a “Wall of Fame” for accomplishments and victories, big and small. AND a “Wall of Shame” for minor infractions such as not changing the toilet paper roll, etc. We have to be willing to put ourselves on the wall of shame too - and that’s the lesson: We all make mistakes but we own up to them, fix them if possible and learn from them always. Also good fun. Start our with actual paper version but transition to a shared iCloud album to post wall of shame pics once they are old enough for phones. Maybe even continue through adulthood if they “shame” themselves!


5-15, 18, 21



Don’t worry about finding your person. Focus on finding your people.


15, 21



Enroll in a CPR course. Re-certify every year.


13



Teach them to clean the bathroom. Wipe down surfaces, clean mirrors, etc. It’s their job to keep it tidy. Everybody pitches in to keep up with housework.


4-18



You think you’re smart now but just wait. Your brain is just getting warmed up. Feed it: books, travel, music, mushrooms.


14, 17, 21



Show up. Be there when people are counting on you. Be at the celebrations and the funerals. Be at work and school when you're supposed to be.


12-19



I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.


14



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21



I heard a song today, “I love you to the bone” by Sammy Copley. It’s a beautiful story of a lifelong love. It’s my prayer for you that your spouse will have that song played at your funeral after you shared a 75 year- long happy marriage. It’s my prayer that your life is filled with love and laughter, and most importantly a partner who grows with you in all good things. And that you love each other to the bone.


21



Share Brene Brown's short video on Empathy vs. Sympathy: Be the bear, not the goat. Fantastic 3 minute video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw&feature=youtu.be


12, 14, 18, 21



“ A vocation is where our anger and our joy meet.” -Sarah Bessey


16



So what you can. If you’re overwhelmed or depressed, and I can’t get it together to brush your teeth, rinse with water. Tomorrow, rinse with mouthwash. In a few days, brush without bothering to put toothpaste on the brush. This is a pretty extreme example but u get the picture. If you can’t do a load of laundry, just pick up the clothes into a pile. Tomorrow separate the pile. If you can’t face doing a full leg day at the gym, do one rep. Just do what you can, and eventually you will get up to speed. Give yourself grace, my love.


15, 17, 21



Sometimes we’re just not ready to appreciate or understand a book or film or piece of art. Revisit them as you age.


19, 21



If you’re unable to help someone, help someone else. Throw some goodness or beauty in the bucket of humanity.


16



Watch “The Sandlot” together. Great story about friendship and showing up for each other.


8



Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!


1-21