Stand up (or sit up) straight in photos. Don’t slouch or lean. (You can touch or be close but don’t lean in.)


12, 14, 21



If you feel like you can’t get your act together, that you’re less mature than some others your age, I have the recipe for being a grown up: Read, travel, help those in need. READ everything you can get your hands on: books, audio books, newspapers, etc. Travel to places that are different than your experience. Keep a lookout for people (or animals, or groups or causes, etc) who are struggling. HELP those in need.


12, 14, 16, 19, 21



Be thankful for opportunities to be of service. It means God is trusting you to help.


8-14



Stuff is gonna happen! They will make incredibly stupid choices and get into all kinds of trouble. Take a beat. Be radically merciful. THAT is what they’ll remember and that is the lesson they’ll learn.


12-21



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



If you don’t have the words, borrow them. Send a song or a poem. As long as the sentiment is yours, the vowels and consonants don’t need to be.


13, 16. 21



Face it. Whatever it is, show up with your most powerful self. Make decisions from a point of power, not fear. Sometimes the answer is to retreat, care for the injured, mourn the losses. Strategize. Prepare and then attack.


14. 15, 17, 18, 19, 21



Concussion testing - baseline


15



When it comes to judging your behavior at school/ sports/ work, ask: Was I fair? Was I kind? Did I put in the work? If the answers are all “Yes,” then rest well. If an answer is “No,” then fix it.


16



Have the first of many talks about what consent means. Tell them (boys AND girls) that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given. Stress that, in no uncertain terms, the absence of consent is rape. Discuss the legal, moral and emotional consequences.


12



Kids make fun, it’s not nice but they just do. Just blow it off if kids make fun of you got something silly. They’ll drop it if they don’t get a ride out of you. ... But bullying is different. If kids are being mean, threatening or scary, tell me and your teacher.


7



Practice a neutral expression: Interested but not excited. A “poker face” is a good skill to know and will come in handy a lot!


13, 16, 18, 21



We don’t snoop. Never read a correspondence (email, letter, text, note, etc.) that is not intended for your eyes, or listen in to a conversation that is not intended for your ears. The right to privacy is sacred. Always respect people’s privacy and set the expectation that others do the same for you.


10



Never pretend o know what you don’t know. But you can bluff your way through a lot of interviews just by doing a 30 minute Google search. Research the company, the industry, its governing body, key terms, awards, criticism, etc. Check out their social media.


17, 19, 21



Surround yourself with people and ideas that inspire you and captivate you. Life is too short for destructive relationships.


13, 18



“If you want to be holy, be kind”. -Frederick Buechner


14, 19, 21



Failures are part of life. Feel free to fail. But behave with honor. Never do anything to tarnish your good name.


14, 18



My favorite version of myself is when I’m not worried about what others think of me. I


11, 13, 15, 17, 21



Sometimes hookups don’t go well. The vibe is off for whatever reason. Stop. It’s okay to say “actually, let’s just call it a night.” Trust your gut. Be kind but never apologize for saying no-thanks.


15, 20



Big secret to happiness: Let other people talk sh*t about you. They have a right to an opinion and you have the right to ignore it. The only standards you have to live up to are your own.


12, 14, 17, 21



Major life events such as the birth of a baby, graduations, new job, (lost job) are a big deal. Make a fuss. Take an interest in loved ones’ experiences. Acknowledge their feelings. Express a sincere interest in others (young and old) will profoundly affect your relationships.


15, 19



Stay put, don’t wonder if lost when we hike.


2, 3, 5



Just put your best foot forward and get on with it!


14, 17, 21



Ask them “what would it take for you to_____?” (Keep your room clean, stay on top of your homework, feel like you had more control in this situation, etc.) Instead of nagging or lecturing, just ask.


13



Train for a mini-triathlon together as a family this year.


12



I love the quote “The call towards authenticity is sacred” by Paula S. Williams I think it means that a few things: Being called. We are called by something higher to grow and stretch, to evolve. That evolution is a journey that should be undertaken with humility, compassion and love. To impede one’s quest to be authentic, be it our own or another’s, is a grave injustice and should be avoided at all cost.


13-17, 21



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21



Bring Christmas cookies to local fire station and police station. (Annually)


7-14



Use Shutterfly or something like it to make Christmas books and birthday books each year.


Infant-21