Resist the urge to blurt out and over share when you’re feeling pressured to say something. Have a few “go to” phrases in your back pocket. “I’m at a lack of words” or “vibe check” or “let’s take a beat.” Come up with your own. Calm, kind, respectful. xoxo


11, 12, 14, 17, 21



Read Elizabeth Gilbert’s book on creativity. Re-read every few years!


17



I stopped worrying about you by the time you were seven. (I’m not talking about your safety and health, that I’ll always worry about!) But I knew you were a joyful, generous, kind, smart and well-mannered person. You were a great friend, supportive and fun. You would be a good partner, and would contribute so much good to society. I could see you had a curious mind, an active imagination and more than a healthy dose of courage.


15, 21



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Read “Spare” by Prince Harry.


20



“If you can’t figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.” - Paul Graham


18



“Life is good when you are happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.” -Pope Francis Endeavor to make people happy by the work you do, by the way you treat them, by your contributions to the world. But don’t ever try to make someone happy by changing yourself.


13, 17



Go as a family to local high school musical productions.


9-13



1

There's an old saying that goes something like "Don't focus on how big your problems are, focus instead on how big your God is." On a certain level, it's trite and too simple. It's almost insulting. But without discounting the real pain behind your problems, I encourage you to practice exactly what it says. There's no need (or way) to forget about your problems, but you CAN change your focus, and decide to cling to the goodness of the Lord. Meditate on God's power, His (Her/Their) goodness, patience, his grace, his beauty, and most of all, his love. Hard to do? Yes, maybe at first. But how much time do you spend thinking about what is causing you pain? (I have a talent for perseverating on it. I go over and over and over how I was wronged or why I failed, or how I could have said it differently.) no matter how much time I spend, I don't feel any better! If you learn to take half the time you would spend thinking about your [very real] pain, and focus on God's goodness, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel. It's not even about praying for help, or blessings, etc. Just think about how infinitely GOOD He is: Artist, scientist, parent, environmentalist, creator, healer, friend, forgiving judge, patient teacher. Loving father. Christ, the human face of God, is saying "Look right here. Hold on tight to me. I know. I love you. I've got you." Practice shifting your focus and you'll get better and better at it. The pain WILL fade. Your heart will fill with light. Age 15 Faith


15



Remember: “C’s get degrees.” Don’t tie yourself in knots over grades.


17, 18



When you’re struggling with something, you don’t know how you feel or why something is happening... Give it to the Lord. Entrust him with it. He will mold it and soften it so you’re able to process it.


19



The app "Bark" detects messaging containing cyber-bullying, sexting, signs of depression or suicidal thoughts, etc.


11



If you sleep with a girl, always call or text the next day. Don't be a d-bag.


18



Something to remember on those days when the kids are making you nuts and you’re at the end of your parenting rope: “They love you no matter what. They always want to be close to you. Even when you’re screwing up, they still think you’re amazing. They want to be just like you when they grow up. You are their hero. You may be their mom, but they’re constantly reminding you of your worth.”


2



Re-Read Tim Russert's Big Russ and Me.


14



Fact: when you drink to excess you are significantly more likely to cause harm to someone or be harmed yourself. Being drunk means surrendering your ability to keep yourself and others safe.


12, 15, 18



Rent kayaks.


14-16



Summer Olympics for neighborhood kids. Create events in all kinds of sports, games and skills. Mix it up so the littler ones and the less athletically inclined have something they can succeed at too.


8-12



A man is not a financial plan.


17



Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.


20



We can disagree with people and still be respectful of them. (When what they espouse is something that hurts people, that’s where you can draw the line.)


16



Two instances when exercise is unhealthy: when you’re only doing it because you want to lose weight or because you’re terrified you will gain weight.


14, 18, 21



Grandpa was a Marine, though you’d never know it. Slight in build and oh-so gentle natured. But underneath he had a good bit of grit. He never complained. He once told me “You can stand any amount of pain for a little while.” (Basically saying suck it up and hang in there until help arrives.) I’ve never forgotten it.


18



Some people think the world owes THEM. They have a backwards. We are servants. How can we best serve?


12-21



Don’t worry if they’re not listening to what you say...They watch what you do. They study it.


13



Open a Bank Account


8-12



Doing something you don’t want to do just to look cool is the opposite of cool.


9, 11, 14, 15, 19, 21



“How we learn to hold what hurts shapes so much of who we are. What we choose to do with our pain defines us more than most things.“ -Chani Nicholas


11, 14, 17



When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.


20