None of us sit high enough to look down on anybody.


11, 14, 17, 21



Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word. Never get too big for your britches. Trust in God. Have no fear


15, 21



Book recommendation: “Star Fish” by Lisa Fipps.


11



I want to talk about when NOT to join in. Friends are great and feeling like we belong feels so good. But there are times I hope you muster the courage not to go along: Never cause anyone or anything pain in order to be liked. Don't confuse cruelty for humor. Never participate in things that may cause harm to yourself or others. Can you think of some things you want to make sure you don't go along with?


11



It matters more “how” you go to college than “where” you go to college.


16



There is so much darkness in the world - keep pushing back against it every way you can. Be a force for good.


14, 16, 21



Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.


12



White privilege doesn’t mean that your life hasn’t been hard, it means that your skin color isn’t one of the things making it harder.


14



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



I wish you had known my father he was such a good man gentle and loving. One early memory I have of him is that one night in our neighborhood I was hit by a bike - a boy was riding his bike and road up on the sidewalk and ran right into me. The bike hit me in the face with the handlebars and I was knocked down before I knew what happened. My father scooped me up and carried me back home. I was crying the whole time. the funny thing is I don't remember the pain, but I very clearly remember being in his arms and hearing the clip clop clip clop of his shoes. It was an after dinner walk - he was still in his suit from work and he had his loafers on and made a clip clop on the sidewalk I will never forget the feeling of being carried in his arms as he hurried back to the house to take care of me. I was in pain but I knew I would be OK. I miss him very much and I wish you knew him.


15



Remember what a teenaged sh*t you were before throwing in the towel on the next generation. We’re all self-centered, entitled and oblivious when we’re young. The goal is that they don’t *stay* that way. Be the parent they need, and they’ll listen. It may take a year or twenty, but they’ll see the light if you just pour love into them.


12-21



Whatever your first knee-jerk reaction is, it’s not always the right one. Sleep on it.


14, 17, 21



When something is upsetting you...Name it...Take a deep breath...Imagine holding it gently in your hands. (This is a reminder to use this visualization myself and to teach it to you. I want to give you as many tools as I can to help you learn to cope with negative emotions in a healthy way.)


9-11



Conspiracy theories... Where do I begin? They’re pure sh*t. They are fueled by fear and ignorance, usually peddled by people who have an agenda.


12, 16



Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)


14



Write “thank you” notes, send pics of them wearing the outfit Grandma gave, etc. You get so many gifts...Be a grateful recipient.


7



Don’t ask for anything until you’ve done what has been asked of you.


5



Have fun at parties! Mingle, dance, participate in the good energy. But if there’s drinking to excess, someone needs to be lifeguard. Young people don’t know how dangerous alcohol can be. And sadly, someone needs to be bodyguard. Men often try to take advantage of intoxicated women.


14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19



Always clean from clean to dirty. Wash glassware first, greasy dishes last. Sink and tub first, then toilet. Then floor. Top-to bottom is another general rule.


13, 18



Knowing the “right choice” to make isn’t always easy. Sometimes you have to decide then go for it. Make a choice, then make it right.


17, 21



When I say I want you to be happy I’m not talking about pleasure and ease. I mean purpose and pride you in yourself, meaningful work, and a solid group of friends and family who loves you for who you are, so you don’t ever have to pretend to be something you’re not.


21



Check out fencing. Local fencing club has classes for kids and adults all ages. They also do birthday parties, so that might be something different that would be fun for him and his friends.


10



Remember: “C’s get degrees.” Don’t tie yourself in knots over grades.


17, 18



Don’t feed the thing you’re fighting.


13, 17, 21



Read A Mother’s Reckoning by Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter.)


12



“I don’t know what I think until I write about it.” - Joan Didion


15



If it’s the right thing, if something needs to be done… Make yourself do it. You’re never going to “feel like it.” Practice daily with things big and / or small without complaining.


9, 12, 15, 21



Here’s the thing: some whacky $@!#% is about to go down. The next few years will be interesting, awesome and awful all at once. We will rely on kind and respectful communication, have as much fun as we can, forgive often, learn to let go and trust, and learn to be trustworthy. If necessary we will seek the advice of experts and the counsel of loved ones. Shifts can happen fast, for the better or worse. It seems like the end of the world but it’s not. You’re stronger and braver than you know.


11, 12, 13



Defending yourself from a bear: NEVER run from or turn your back on a bear. Remember the rhyme: “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown hit the ground, if it’s white like Similac, frozen bear gonna send u back.” - Mamadou Ndiaye


16



Best song for a good cry: “And so It Goes” by Billy Joel.


15, 21