Behind every behavior is a need.


2, 3, 4, 13, 14



Following your conscience is more important than getting ahead and will make a greater difference in how happy you are. Getting ahead or not isn’t entirely up to you, but listening to your conscience is.” - Senator Mitt Romney (paraphrase)


16



Let decency be like a religion to you. Practice it …but don’t preach it.


14



"Make yourself proud." Teach them to take pride in themselves - in their work, their behavior. Everything from a 3 year-old making her bed to a 10 year-old's homework. If they learn to keep going until they're satisfied it's done well, they won't need us to keep after them.


4



You don’t owe me a thing. Live your life as you will. I will always love you.


18, 21



Make sure you always have Uber gift cards on hand for friends, emergencies or whatever.


15-18



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Stuff will happen and you’ll think “I can’t get through this. I can’t go on.” In the moment it really feels that way. But ...You will survive. You’ll find a way. Never give up on yourself. I never will.


17



Always remember - cheesecake is the best cake.


21



"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin


14, 19



What does entitlement mean to you? I think it means the assumption that we are owed something simply by virtue of who we are rather than what we’ve earned.


10



“Pick a problem - any problem,and do something about it. Because to somebody who is hurting, ‘something’ is everything.” -Oprah Winfrey


12-16



Make a gift of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations.


15



“People are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pain comes when we try to put them in the wrong category.” - random therapist I never met.


16



“Abhor what is evil. Hold fast to what is good.”


10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 21



Your body will go through all sorts of shapes and sizes. You’ll have times when you’re gorgeous and times when you’re awkward or frumpy. Whether you’re having a great hair day or sporting a face full of angry pimples, your looks have never and will never define your worth. (And nobody else will ever be defined by theirs.)


13, 15, 21



“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa


16, 21



Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman" speech.


10



Healing happens when you give up the hope that the past could have been any different. xoxo


20



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11



Apollo 13 and The Martian Great movies about space, science, engineering, etc. Watch together.


12



vaccinate! Science is good.


0, 1, 2, 3, 5



Respect people’s boundaries / quirks. Someone who “doesn’t fly” may have fear of enclosed spaces due to anxiety or past trauma. Someone who doesn’t drink may have had a parent who was an abusive alcoholic. Don’t laugh, question or prod. If they want to talk about it, fine. Otherwise just accept their boundaries.


15, 21



Practice being okay with someone misunderstanding you. Not everyone is going to “get” you. That’s okay.


14, 19, 21



Practice sitting still and quiet. Make it a game. Helps with focus and impulsivity.


4-7



Practice not putting stuff off. If it takes 10 seconds or less do it now. Then move up to 30 seconds or less. Keep going up to ~3 minutes. Good example is putting away laundry or emptying dishwasher, etc.


15



Most people are good. Some are bad. Many are crazy.


15, 21



When the poop hits the fan, that's when real discipleship begins.


15-18



Rainstorms are gangrenous- avoid driving in them or being out on foot. I’ve personally known people who have died from lightening strikes (running) and falling tree limbs (in their car. The mom in drivers’ seat and child in front seat both died.)


16



Always wear an undershirt with a dress shirt.


15