Our nervous systems are just trying to keep us safe. If you were thrown into fight/flight/fawn today, give yourself some grace.
14, 21
People always say “Be yourself.” That’s good advice but really what does it mean? I think it’s easier to explain what it DOESN’T mean: When you’re being yourself you’re not pretending to be interested in something or someone you’re not. You’re not doing something just to please someone else (or just to tick them off.) You’re not wearing anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. You’re not pretending to have fun when you’re not having fun. You’re not trying to impress anyone. You’re not trying to fade into the background. You’re not trying to change anything about yourself or someone else. I think that’s a good start. What does “being yourself” mean to you?
11-14, 18, 21
Third or fourth grade is usually a time of friendship drama. Hurt feelings abound. Treat yourself and them gently. Hold space for sadness and frustration. The last thing we ever want to do is to change who we are (what we like) in order to fit in. Good friends encourage you to let your light shine, they don’t mock your light, or imply you should dim it. I don’t care who’s popular, good looking etc, beware of anyone who thinks mean is cool. Gravitate towards kind, weird, talented, interesting, funny, etc. Good vibes are always better than “cool.”
8, 9, 10
When you see someone in military uniform, thank them for their service. Hold the door open for them, etc. If they are behind you in line at Starbucks, pay for their coffee. At the very least, look them in the eye and smile - they’ve made a tremendous sacrifice and you should acknowledge that.
12, 16, 21
Of all the things I worry about, addiction is very high on the list. Begin talks (age appropriate) about addiction.
7
Define success for yourself. Be wary of becoming a corporate coal miner. Why bust your $@!#% for years and in school so you can bust your $@!#% for years in a soul-sucking job? Regardless of compensation that is not success in my book. How do you define success? For me it's "Do good. Have fun. Belong to a tribe. Meaningful work with people you love.Make enough money to pay the bills and not have to worry about the basics."
17
make your own latch board / "busy board" for plenty of hours of learning and entertainment. Find lots of great ideas on Pinterest.
1-2
When you feel like judging someone, try to resist the urge and get curious instead. There’s always a story.
16
Talk about how choices become habits. Habits can become addictions. Describe how pathways are literally dug into the brain and it's very hard to change them once those paths are made.
13-16
Self-care is active not passive. (Zoning-out on the couch or sleeping all day isn’t self-care.)
13, 15
Focus on being interesting (and genuinely interested) rather than focusing on being popular.
11, 13, 17, 21
“Be curious. Read. Use the latest tools available to you.” - Bill Gates when asked for his advice to young people in the dawn of AI era.
12, 14, 16, 18
Hydrolaunch Water Rocket outdoor sprinkler toy. Summer fun plus a little science lesson. On Amazon
5
Whether they’re young or old, try not to under-estimate people. Most people will impress the heck out of you.
15
Mom’s scrambled eggs: Use fresh eggs. Scramble vigorously. Don’t add water or milk, just cook in copious amount of butter. Add salt and pepper.
12
You don’t have to be friends with people you don’t like. But you can’t decide you don’t like someone unless you get to know them. (Rather than a look or a reputation or a difference, etc.)
10
Sex talk: “Forget about sex. Just play first.” Forget about making a move and just have fun. Dance, listen to music together, go somewhere exciting, look at something beautiful, read to each other, play sports, let yourself be seen and encourage them to do the same. Communicate in a hundred ways: talk/send texts/ post on social media, pass notes, whatever. “Sex isn’t the door to intimacy
15
Sometimes there’s nothing you can say or do to help someone feel better. In times like that, just make sure you don’t make it worse.
14, 18, 21
You may end up being a big shot, Good for you! But check yourself. The good lord wasn't above washing his friends' dirty feet so please don't feel like you're above any task that needs to be done. Enjoy your success but stay humble.
20
Read the instructions. Don't ask for help if you've been given instructions but haven't yet read them. RTFM. (Read the flippin' manual.)
14-21
Sometimes rejection is God’s protection. If u worked hard and gave it your all and still missed the bus, that bus wasn’t yours. Read The Artist’s Way.
17
When you bring home a new baby, make sure your older kid(s) hear you talking to it the way you talk to them: “I’m sorry Baby I can’t hold you right now, I’m going to play with Sibling.” It makes it a lot easier to tell Siblings that you can’t give them attention right now because Baby needs you. Less resentment, etc.
2, 3, 4, 5
I heard a song today, “I love you to the bone” by Sammy Copley. It’s a beautiful story of a lifelong love. It’s my prayer for you that your spouse will have that song played at your funeral after you shared a 75 year- long happy marriage. It’s my prayer that your life is filled with love and laughter, and most importantly a partner who grows with you in all good things. And that you love each other to the bone.
21