"You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read." ~ James Baldwin
14, 19
“When you are not fed love off a silver spoon you will learn to lick it off of knives.” Lauren Eden (poet)
0, 20
Don’t confuse a broken dream for a broken future. Or a broken heart for a broken life.
13, 15, 17, 19, 21
From our beautiful Grandma Marie: Go easy on the makeup, get serious about skincare. Don’t skimp, use good-quality products on your face and neck. And remember SUNSCREEN on face, neck and hands every day!
16
You gotta play with them. Down on the floor, at the park, in the water, in the snow. Connect through play, it will be the foundation of your relationship.
1-4
“If you want to be beautiful, make beautiful choices.” - (Greek philosopher whose name I can’t remember.)
10, 13, 17, 21
Paint rocks with pictures or kind messages and find public places to leave them where they can hide in plain site. See RockOurWorldArt.
8-11
What I most want to teach you this year is that you can always trust me. I will always love you, take care of you and never harm you. You may not always like me, but you can always trust me.
1
You’ll start dating soon. Have fun! Good luck. Prepare yourself for broken hearts. They come with the territory. (Worth it.) Talk about healthy ways to manage breakups and fear of breaking up.
13
When making decisions or setting goals etc, approach from the perspective of your truest self. That’s integrity.
14, 18, 21
You have to learn how to not start, and how to stop abruptly when you’re turned on. Doesn’t matter how much you want it, nothing happens unless she gives enthusiastic consent, and nothing continues if she were to withdraw consent for any reason or at any time. Look up the making tea analogy for consent. It’s perfect.
14, 15, 16, 17, 18
Learn how to release energy consciously, or you’ll end up releasing it unconsciously onto your loved ones in a negative way like yelling or arguing. Breathe, sing, shout, cry, sweat, play, bake, whatever floats your boat!
1-21
Just love them. With all your might, them for who they are, and where they are. Forget about the other stuff.
15
Show them a picture of a riptide and explain about swimming parallel to the shore instead of fighting it. Google Outer Banks NC green fluorescent dye in riptide.
9-15
People learn all sorts of different ways. I found I learn best by repetition (drills) especially true for skills. And by listening for studying. Recording my lectures in college made a huge difference in my ability to learn and retain material. Let’s find what works for you.
14, 17
When he comes to you and tells you he’s in trouble, stay calm. Ask “How can I help you?” Figure it out together. No matter how old he is, he needs to know you’re on his side. There will be time for lessons and consequences, etc. But first, help.
7, 12, 15, 21
Hand out tulip bulbs (or some sort of bulbs) at my funeral and ask people to plant a few in their yard. But NOT daffodils. I hate daffodils. And lilies, hate ‘em.) So tulips then.
21
Control isn’t safety. Safety is putting in the physical/mental/intellectual/emotional/spiritual work so you’re confident in your ability to address whatever comes your way and thrive, bounce back after getting knocked down.
14, 21
Repeat after me: “I am beautiful I am loved I am safe I am free. I don’t need to be like them I just need to be like me.”
7, 8, 9, 13, 16
When dropping them off at a dorm, leave them with. Cookie sheet and cookie dough. Make cookies/make friends.
15, 17, 18, 19, 21