"The idea that some lives matter less is the root of all that is wrong with the world." - Paul Farmer


15, 21



I don’t buy Mallomars. But Santa does. Another Christmas stocking tradition is chicken flickin. Rubber chickens you shoot like rubber bands.


5, 21



No threats, not even jokingly.


15



Surround yourself with people, places and spaces that feed your spirit. At the very least, avoid those that drain your spirit.


17



When you’re getting serious in a relationship here’s something to consider- To what extent is your partner is willing to put others’ needs before their own?


21



I would rather deal with a big truth than a little lie. Whatever it is you’re going through we can solve it together but only if we’re both honest.


14



Always keep a clean rag within arm’s reach in the car. You never know when you might need to clean-up a spill or smash a spider while driving 50mph.


16



I once asked my mom if my grandmother (her mother in law) was rich. Her reply: “No, but she likes to think she is.” I think she meant my grandmother spent money like she had plenty of it when she really did not. Can relate. I hope you do better!


14, 21



Begin planning trip for 10th bday. Maybe to Atlantis in Bahamas or someplace he’d be excited about._____Get him involved in planning and saving.


8



Make an album Or Shutterfly book about Mom and Dad’s wedding and marriage. Stress themes of love, kindness, sacrifice, shared values and putting the other first. Talk about managing conflict in a loving relationship doesn’t mean never fighting but it does mean fighting fair. Make it an annual tradition to read through it and talk about marriage on their anniversary. (The next best thing to modeling a happy marriage.


9



Think about building a career. Take low-paying or no-paying jobs that will give you the experience you need to build it. It's not all about the paycheck, especially when you're young and don't have too many bills to pay.


19-21



A simple trick to calm your nerves: Name 5 things you can hear right now.


5-15



Alcohol is a depressant. Never drink to feel better. It will only make things hurt worse and be worse. Only drink in celebration or community. Never to numb. That sh*t is poison. Pure $@!#% juice.


18, 19, 21



Start a tradition of setting goals for Ne Year. Keep a notebook in with the Christmas ornaments and each year we all add in whatever we want to focus on: such as our resolutions, goals, hope or plans, etc. That will be something fun to do at the end of the year when we’re taking down the tree and putting away all the holiday stuff.


8



When making decisions remember HALT: are you hungry, angry, lonely or tired? (Or ecstatic) Give yourself time to be in a good place. Ask yourself if you’re choosing something because it’s going to bring you closer to being as authentically yourself or are you trying to meet someone else’s expectations? This is not to say you won’t need to compromise and put others first (spouse/ family.) That happens a lot in marriage. No, I mean ask yourself if you’re trying to prove something or are you being true to yourself. Hope that helps.


18, 21



Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face.


11, 14, 18



“Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and gigantic than you can possibly imagine.” From short story “The Egg” by Andy Weir


1Infant-21



There’s no sense in giving up yourself in order to be liked by people you don’t know (or like!) Like what you like. Love who you love. Be who you are. There’s nothing to fear.


13, 16, 18, 21



When someone hurts us or REALLY pisses us off... We have to pray for them. It’s hard to stay mad at someone you’re praying for.


8-18



Remember the hymn we used to sing at bedtime when you were little? “What Does the Lord Require of You?” To seek justice. To love kindness. To walk humbly with your God. (Walk humbly means to remember God is so very good. That he loves you and is for you and wants you to talk to him, listen for him, love him, serve him.) No matter what religion you practice (or don’t practice) I hope you’ll remember that.


17



People will always have complicated feelings about the people they once loved. We’re human beings, we can’t expect emotions to be like an on/off switch. Complicated feelings/mixed emotions regarding an ex is to be expected. What’s important is what they decide.


17, 21



On September 11th I was at work in Fairfax VA. News reports were saying a plane was headed to the Capitol, that the Whitehouse had been hit. In the immediate aftermath of a big event, news reports will be unreliable. Wait until the facts are in. Several of the nurses had husbands who worked at the Pentagon. One of the doctors was married to a U.S. Senator in her office on the Hill. It was surreal, but no one panicked. I remember we all burst into tears when my friend’s husband called saying he was safe. So relieved.


15, 17



Time management skills. Look for current resources. Teach about making lists when you're feeling overwhelmed. Start with listing 5 to-do's. Tackle the top 3 of those. Then reassess. New priorities? If no, keep going down the list. If yes, add them to the list in whatever order of importance.


12



People pretend to enjoy all sorts of things. Don’t assume you’re the only one who thinks drinking to the point of getting sick is just stupid.


15



It’s your civic duty to vote (including midterms!) Be an informed voter.


16, 18



It’s possible (even common) to feel conflicting emotions simultaneously. You can be glad you’re not with a girl and still be jealous if she finds a new love. You can be glad you’ve moved on and still miss what once was. You can be sad that something happened and grateful for something that came of it. Humans are complex. Two or more conflicting thoughts can exist in our heads at once. It’s not a betrayal or a character flaw.


17



When you feel hopeless that’s when you know it’s time to seek help. It’s a red flag in someone’s demeanor. Notify parents if you notice this feeling of deep despair in yourself or someone you know. Help really does help.


13, 15, 17, 19, 21



Never open someone else's mail, or listen to their conversation, etc. If it's not your business to know, don't snoop.


14-21



Don’t worry if they’re not listening to what you say...They watch what you do. They study it.


13