“Write hard and clear about what hurts.” - Ernest Hemingway


12, 15, 21



Monty Python movies.


12-15



“Racism is real, even if you aren’t a racist. White privilege is real, even if you don’t feel it. Police brutality is real, even if the cop you know is kind. Your world isn’t the world. Everything is not about you.” -Mohamed Safa


16, 21



Just fill ‘em with love. Every other parenting mistake or deficit can be fixed, but if a child grows up thinking it’s not loved and doesn’t have a place in this world, that is a recipe for permanent and painful damage. Not necessarily “spoil” them, but cut them slack as often as possible. Just love ‘em up.


Infant-21



“The next generation never learns anything from the previous one until it’s brought home like a hammer.” - Harry Truman


13, 16, 21



Ask”How can I be a better parent to you?” Listen.


1Infant-18



Okay algebra and geometry but other than that, spend time practicing addition and subtraction, multiplication and division. That’s 99% of the math you’ll need to know if you’re not going to be an engineer, etc.


10, 14, 15, 18, 21



Anger is the bodyguard of sadness.


12-15, 21



Don’t quit your job until you have another job. Suck it up and make the best out of it.


21



Have somebody take him skiing. I never learned to ski but I hope he learns to ski or snowboard.


6-11



Check out the website Brightly for timely and age-appropriate book recommendations. All sorts of subjects and themes.


5-12



When it comes to clothes and makeup, women have one dress code: whatever the f*ck they want. Hijab or bikini, it’s not women’s job to appeal to men. It’s not women’s job to keep men’s appetites subdued.


14, 17, 21



Changed behavior is the only real apology.


15



Just for the record, I didn’t vote for Trump. I want my great-grandchildren to know that.


18



1

“First things first!” It’s a constant struggle to get out of the house or complete a task. Hammer home “first things first!” After they’re dressed (or whatever task) THEN they can have screen time or playtime free-time, etc.


4



Win some, learn some.


14, 17, 21



Kids who are a little different (maybe they make funny sounds, look different, or aren’t able to talk or walk very well, etc.) Remember that just because they might be different, they are never “less than.” Their feelings matter as much as yours. They like to play as much as you. Their families love them as much as your family loves you. Include them as much as you can. You could end up making a great friend!


6



Never any point in arguing with drunks or fools.


17



Sojourner Truth's "Ain't I a Woman" speech.


10



Sometimes I think the best way to take care of them is to teach them to take care of others: Littler kids, sick or disabled, those who’ve been left out.


5-7



Always keep a can of WD-40 in the house.


21



Ask him for Christmas present: recite Andy Weir’s “The Egg.” Bonus points for memorization! Also great idea for audition tape. )I’m assuming you’ll be in theater!) xoxo


15



Plan out first concert.


11



Birthday traditions: 1) Plant something every year. 2) Birthday interview on camera or voice recording.


5



Be willing to say “I don’t know” if you don’t know! Don’t just make stuff up.


15, 20



Always stand up to shake someone’s hand. (NEVER shake a person’s hand while sitting.) Always get up out of your seat to greet a guest and walk them to the door when they leave.


13



Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!


14, 19



Great article on how to explain that bodies AND brains are undergoing rapid changes during adolescence. Re-read and then chat! https://www.upworthy.com/amp/this-mother-s-description-of-her-tween-son-s-brain-is-a-must-read-for-all-parents?c=ufb1


10



If there’s a ever a bird in the house, close the interior doors, open the doors to the outside and shoo it out with a broom.


18



Respect people’s privacy. No snooping, eavesdropping, peeping, etc.


11