On marriage: Your spouse will change. You will change. Some for the better, some parts for the worse. Tastes, plans, health, body shape, education, needs, beliefs... all change throughout our lives. It’s growth. (It’s also decay!) Support each other through both. Encourage each other to be true to yourselves. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Be kind. Pray for each other. Have fun together. Keep learning about each other. Be your partner’s biggest fan.
21
Be yourself. No need to pretend to like something the crowd is doing. Half of them are probably just as unenthused as you are but are afraid to say so.
12, 15
Misquoting someone here: “It’s not about getting everything you want, it’s about giving everything you have.” Stuff will never satisfy. Pouring yourself into something heart and soul will.
16, 21
“Pay yourself first” means save before you spend. You never know when you’ll need to tap into savings, so build it up early and heartily.
18
Begin to teach self-policing. There are plenty of good things that I want them to be able to partake in (alcohol, a trip to Vegas, etc.) but alcohol and gambling are just a few of the things that can sneak up and take hold and RUIN your life if you don’t know how to self-limit. Respect the potential danger and be vigilant. keep re-ticketing and repeat yearly (age-appropriate)
11
“Life is good when you are happy, but much better when others are happy because of you.” -Pope Francis Endeavor to make people happy by the work you do, by the way you treat them, by your contributions to the world. But don’t ever try to make someone happy by changing yourself.
13, 17
When someone gets upset for seemingly no reason maybe it’s not something you did or said but something you simply triggered. Try not to get defensive. Either gently remove yourself from the situation or if you want to engage with them just ask “what did I trigger?” Or “what story are you telling yourself right now?” Then, just listen.
20
Floss!!! All kinds of health benefits including decreased risk for heart disease and diabetes. Plus you get to keep your teeth. It's a no-brainer.
14, 18, 21
No absolute restrictions on food but stress that some foods are “party food.” Chips, for example. (I love potato chips!)
4
If there’s a ever a bird in the house, close the interior doors, open the doors to the outside and shoo it out with a broom.
18
Check out fencing. Local fencing club has classes for kids and adults all ages. They also do birthday parties, so that might be something different that would be fun for him and his friends.
10
Look for glimmers. The opposite of triggers. Feels of elation, belonging, peaceful contentment. I just watched you glimmer as you delighted in your first Crunchbox. “I made this!!!”
12, 15, 19, 21
Two rules: First, don’t be a sh!tty person. 2. Try to have some fun. Everything else is just “whatever.”
13, 21
Work towards your goal. If you screw-up, fix it. The worst thing you could do is give up just because you made a mistake. Nobody’s perfect. Keep going!
14, 19
Write your own job description. When you've been around long enough to know what you're good at and can identify what needs in the company you can help with.
21
One of the best doctors I ever worked with started his day by walking through the office and saying “good morning” to everyone. He’d do the same before he left at the end of the day, just making sure everyone was ok, to call him if they needed anything, etc. I don’t know what your career will be but if you’re in a position to do so, I hope you’ll adopt this habit.
21
My mom used to say that one thing her mom taught her was no matter how poor they were they always had a clean house. She made sure of it.
18
Keep stories about younger years to tell them later: You used to call yellow “lellow” etc. Ten years from now you think you’ll remember this stuff but you won’t.
2
Sleep paralysis runs in the family. If you ever feel like you’re awake but you can’t move - don’t panic. It will pass in a minute. It’s just a lag time in your sleep/wake cycle.
20
It’s not fair to resent someone for being who they are. We can all improve ourselves, learn and grow etc. but we should never ask anyone to change who they are in exchange for our love. And that goes both ways - never change who you are to fit someone else’s idea of who you should be. Be open to ways to can improve yourself of course, but surround yourself with people who love you for you and encourage you to be your genuine self and who want the best for you.
12, 15, 18, 21
“ It was my high school drama teacher who made sure I knew there was space for me in this world. Her kind words had a tremendous impact on my life. If you don’t know where to begin, start with “I see you. I love you. I’m so happy you’re here.” -Chasten Buttigieg
12
Enroll in cooking lessons. We'll need to find you someone who knows how to cook. (Don't tell mom I said that.)
14